Episodes

  • ‘Elf went missing and Sorcha’s old man went loop-the-focking-loop. He actually rang the Gords’

    ‘Elf went missing and Sorcha’s old man went loop-the-focking-loop. He actually rang the Gords’
    Dec 19 2025
    Sorcha’s old dear has a scream on her like Wayne Bornes’s whistle. Sorcha’s old man is like, “What in the name of God?” and we all rush into the living room – we’re talking me, Sorcha and, like I said, her old man – to see her standing there with the famous Elf on the Shelf in her hand.

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    6 mins
  • Christmas or no Christmas, I’m frankly disappointed by Sorcha’s lack of killer instinct

    Christmas or no Christmas, I’m frankly disappointed by Sorcha’s lack of killer instinct
    Dec 12 2025
    “Mee, meh, mah, moh, moo,” Sorcha goes – and not for the first time since we left Dublin. “Mee, meh, mah, moh, moo.” And I’m there, “Don’t worry – I’ll, em, let you know when that gets annoying.” She goes, “I’m doing my vocal exercises, Ross. This is a huge night for us.”

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    7 mins
  • The old man goes, ‘I’m sorry. I just can’t muster any enthusiasm for Christmas this year’

    The old man goes, ‘I’m sorry. I just can’t muster any enthusiasm for Christmas this year’
    Dec 5 2025
    The old man says he doesn’t think he’ll bother with Christmas this year – “what with everything”. By which he means, what with it being the first one since the old dear – yeah, no – pegged it. Sorcha goes, “Oh my God, Chorles, Fionnuala was such a Christmas person. She’d want you to celebrate it.”

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    6 mins
  • ‘We’re going to buy a sh**load of frozen turkeys - if there’s a shortage I can sell them for €500 each’

    ‘We’re going to buy a sh**load of frozen turkeys - if there’s a shortage I can sell them for €500 each’
    Nov 28 2025
    Sorcha is in her – literally? – element. She goes, “This is gorgeous, isn’t it?” This being the humungous Christmas morket in – believe it or not – Belfast. Honor’s there, “I still don’t understand what we’re even doing here?” And Sorcha’s like, “Honor, we may end up living in a united Ireland one day. And what do we know about our brothers and sisters from the North?” “They’re very angry,” Johnny goes.

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    6 mins
  • ‘Ronan is hanging out with the absolute scum of the earth: my old man and Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara’

    ‘Ronan is hanging out with the absolute scum of the earth: my old man and Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara’
    Nov 21 2025
    Ronan shows up at the front door wearing a Santa hat and a big smile. I’m there, “What are you, drunk?” because I’m aware that the Ireland soccer team had some kind of result at the weekend.

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    6 mins
  • ‘Dude, if you insist on coaching Blackrock, you can forget about me being your best man’

    ‘Dude, if you insist on coaching Blackrock, you can forget about me being your best man’
    Nov 14 2025
    Things have been a bit – yeah, no – strained between Christian and me ever since he got back with his ex-wife, Lauren. I told him straight out that he was Hertz Car Rental even thinking about going there again. But he asked her to marry him irregordless and then, in the first flush of their rediscovered love, she asked him – “tell me honestly, I won’t be angry” – what his friends thought of them getting hitched again and the dude snitched on me like a parrot with a megaphone.

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    7 mins
  • ‘It’s all right for you,’ Honor goes. ‘You can have any woman you want’

    ‘It’s all right for you,’ Honor goes. ‘You can have any woman you want’
    Nov 7 2025
    The front door slams and the entire orangerie – built without planning permission at the height of the Celtic Tiger – shakes to its foundations. Sorcha’s eyes meet mine. Ten seconds later we hear Honor’s bedroom door slam too and we both silently wonder whether the structure will stay standing for what’s left of our daughter’s teenage years.

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    6 mins
  • ‘I don’t like who my son has become since he started playing rugby. He’s full of himself’

    ‘I don’t like who my son has become since he started playing rugby. He’s full of himself’
    Oct 31 2025
    The room is absolutely rammers and I’m listening outside the door as various randomers talk s, h, one, t, about me and my famous coaching methods.

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    6 mins