Don't trust your love life to fate, take the scientific approach

A thought‑provoking episode of Rest and Recreation, sees host Michael Millward and Mila Smith, a Berkshire based science‑backed relationship consultant, about one of life’s most misunderstood transitions: how to go from being single to becoming part of a healthy, lasting couple.

Drawing on her journey of unhealthy relationships and divorce to nine years of stable, happy marriage – Mila explains how focusing on science rather than fate resulted in a revitalised love life. As Mila says, “I had a few unhealthy relationships… then one day I realized, it was not luck and it was not someone else's fault… I was the cause of the problem!”

Mila and Michael unpack:

• Why modern dating feels harder than ever, and how apps create an “illusion of abundance” that keeps people searching instead of connecting.
• The unrealistic expectations of partners. Can you be lover, friend, co‑parent, adventure buddy, therapist, and soulmate all at once.
• The three scientific pillars of a healthy relationship:
• Trust, not just in fidelity but in emotional safety.
• Shared key life values, from family and money to spirituality and politics.
• Constructive conflict resolution, including the “time‑out” technique to prevent arguments from escalating.
• Why love and relationship are not the same thing, and how passion inevitably evolves into companionate love rooted in friendship – “one of our fundamental evolutionary needs.”

Michael reflects on cultural differences, personal experiences, and the importance of learning how relationships really work – rather than assuming they should come naturally. Together, they highlight that successful coupledom isn’t about fate or chemistry alone, but about conscious choices, aligned values, and shared rules for navigating life together.

Warm, insightful, and refreshingly honest, this episode will make you not just to feel love, but to understand it.

Discover more about Mila Smith and Michael at Abeceder.co.uk

Audience Offers

Rest and Recreation is made on Zencastr, because it is so easy to use. Visit Zencastr.

Travel – at trade prices to anywhere in the world at trade prices as a member of The Ultimate Travel Club.

Health – The Annual Health Test from York Test is conducted by an experienced phlebotomist at your home or workplace. Hospital standard tests for 39 health markers.

A Personal Wellness Hub provides easy-to-understand results and guidance for effective lifestyle changes anytime.

Visit York Test and use this discount code REST25.

Tech Problems? – Visit Three for information about business and personal telecom solutions from Three, and the special offers available when you quote our referral code WPFNUQHU.

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What happens when the job you worked so hard to achieve no longer fits the life you want to live?

A licensed clinical psychologist, life coach, and long‑time yoga teacher, Alise Murray joins host Michael Millward to discuss: What happens when your ideal job no longer fits the life you want to live?

Alise spent years building a career she loved — clinical work, teaching, and eventually a coveted assistant professorship — only to discover that the realities of academia were squeezing out the very parts of the work that once lit her up. As she puts it, “It’s like suddenly I’m wearing a size eight shoe when I have a size nine foot.”

Alise explains how she made the bold decision to focus on home and family, and talks candidly about the fear of leaving stability, the financial challenges that followed.

Yet she also shares how those difficult years taught her to align spending, time, and values — Your banking app can be a mirror of the life you’re actually living.

The episode explores:

• How to recognise when your “dream job” is no longer the dream
• The emotional and practical realities of walking away from a secure career
• Why boundaries matter — and what happens when institutions ignore them
• The role of self‑reflection in major life decisions
• How financial habits can reveal your true values
• The importance of designing a life that fits, rather than forcing yourself into one that doesn’t

Alise now runs a successful private practice built around, integrating psychology, coaching, and whole‑body wellness. Her story is not about abandoning ambition — it’s about redefining it

Discover more about Alise Murray and Michael at Abeceder.co.uk

Audience Offers

Rachael mentions the book: The Hero's Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life and Work, which is available from Amazon.

Rest and Recreation is made on Zencastr, because it is so easy to use. Visit Zencastr.

Travel – at trade prices to anywhere in the world at trade prices as a member of The Ultimate Travel Club.

Health – The Annual Health Test from York Test is conducted by an experienced phlebotomist at your home or workplace. Hospital standard tests for 39 health markers.

A Personal Wellness Hub provides easy-to-understand results and guidance for effective lifestyle changes anytime.

Visit York Test and use this discount code REST25.

Tech Problems? – Visit Three for information about business and personal telecom solutions from Three, and the special offers available when you quote our referral code WPFNUQHU.

Be a Guest Visit Matchmaker.fm. Use code MILW10 for a discount on membership.

We recommend that potential guests take one of the podcasting guest training programmes available from Work Place Learning Centre.

Thank you to you for listening.

We appreciate every like, download, and subscription.

Recruiting and managing a virtual assistant is more complex than you expect.

Michael Millward chats with Rachael Davila– founder of Extra Hands Virtual Assistants, VA mentor, and author of Do I Need a VA? – for a conversation that goes far deeper than the usual “hire a helper” advice. Drawing on more than 20 years in the virtual assistant industry, Rachael explains how small business owners can work out whether they truly need a VA, what kind of support will actually help them, and how to build a relationship that unlocks time, creativity, and strategic focus.

Across the episode, Rachael shares her accidental entry into the VA world, how she built a long‑running business, and why the biggest barrier for overwhelmed entrepreneurs isn’t delegation—it’s mindset. She breaks down the two core VA types (“doers” and “collaborators”), the internal identity shift required to hand off work, and the surprising ways a VA can become a sounding board, operational partner, and catalyst for growth.

Listeners will hear real examples of clients who transformed their businesses, learn why processes matter, and discover how to assess their own readiness – including the simple pre‑work that makes hiring support far less daunting.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a virtual assistant could help you reclaim time, reduce stress, or finally move those big ideas forward, this episode will make you think.

Discover more about Kate Hendrickson and Michael at Abeceder.co.uk

Audience Offers

Rachael mentions the book: The Hero's Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life and Work, which is available from Amazon.

Rest and Recreation is made on Zencastr, because it is so easy to use. Visit Zencastr.

Travel – at trade prices to anywhere in the world at trade prices as a member of The Ultimate Travel Club.

Health – The Annual Health Test from York Test is conducted by an experienced phlebotomist at your home or workplace. Hospital standard tests for 39 health markers.

A Personal Wellness Hub provides easy-to-understand results and guidance for effective lifestyle changes anytime.

Visit York Test and use this discount code REST25.

Tech Problems? – Visit Three for information about business and personal telecom solutions from Three, and the special offers available when you quote our referral code WPFNUQHU.

Be a Guest Visit Matchmaker.fm. Use code MILW10 for a discount on membership.

We recommend that potential guests take one of the podcasting guest training programmes available from Work Place Learning Centre.

Thank you to you for listening.

We appreciate every like, download, and subscription.