I turned 60 this year, and honestly, it really is like a confidence switch flipped. Surprise?

Not really.

All the data from our research at American Confidence Institute has always shown that when we’ve clocked 60 years on the planet, we finally reach our confident best.

Not because age magically makes you perfect, but because you find yourself laughing at the ridiculous stuff that used to knock you down. I feel calmer. Wiser. Not all-knowing by any means, but I can see the games my own mind plays with me and spot them before they suck me in.

The three that chip away at our confidence the most?

Comparison. Impatience. Avoidance.

I’ve tripped over them more times than I can count and yeah, they’ve left some scars. But when I’m able to recognize them at play? That’s when I change the games my mind is playing.

Comparison is probably the worst. I still catch myself scrolling through alumni updates or social feeds and thinking, “Why aren’t I doing more?” But then I remind myself that at least half of those posts are highlight reels. Few if any post about the burnout, the mistakes, the doubts.

Patience is the next one. I’ve wanted things fast my whole life. Faster answers, faster progress, faster results. But life doesn’t hand you clarity overnight. You have to practice, stumble, and celebrate the tiniest wins. Even something as silly as picking a new outfit or finishing a podcast episode counts. Those little wins stack, and that’s how you grow confidence without noticing it.

Then there’s avoidance. So much easier to do the “safe” tasks, ignore the scary ones, and hope they’ll vanish. But avoiding life’s uncomfortable moments—hard conversations, big decisions, even self-reflection—shrinks your confidence. Face them in bite-sized pieces, and suddenly, you realize you’re capable of more than you ever thought.

In this episode, I dig into these traps and, more importantly, explore how to sidestep them. You’ll hear the kind of honest, real talk that makes you stop overthinking, start acting, and finally feel secure in who you are. Because confidence isn’t something you find. Confidence is something you create, choice by choice.

Some days, I just ignore my health. I tell myself, “I’ll deal with it later.” Whatever “it” happens to be. You know what I’m going to say next, right? Later never comes.

And putting off dealing with the odd ache, weird rash or feeling of fatigue doesn’t make it go away. We know this and yet a lot of us freeze and do nothing. Then, guilt and overwhelm sneak in, denial joins the party and what, before, might have had us feeling a little anxious now feels like a full-blown panic attack waiting to happen.

So why do we hit a wall or bottom or need a crisis to get us to act? My guest on this episode of Real Confidence explains it all. Health expert Esther Avant, who has coached countless people through exactly these struggles, helps us understand why denial feels safe and how small consistent actions we take can completely shift our energy around health.

This conversation is NOT about weight, getting your steps in or gym routines. Those are part of the health equation, but must as important for our health is feeling confident, capable, and like you actually own your body and your decisions.

You won’t get any “you shoulds” in this one. Esther offers instead practical, doable ways to reclaim your confidence in your health, starting with the tiniest step that you can commit to today, why self-compassion is critical to momentum and how shifting your mindset can turn fear into fuel.

So, if you’re ready to stop hiding from your health, start acting, and actually feel like you’ve got a handle on your body and choices, press play. This isn’t theory. It’s straight talk, small wins, and the kind of conversation that makes you want to move — today, not next week.

We explore:

• Why denial around health feels safer than facing the truth
• How guilt and perfectionism sabotage even the best intentions
• Simple mindset shifts that turn overwhelm and fear into action
• Ways to develop small, effective habits without the overthinking.
• How to build momentum and self-trust so your health becomes something you own, not stress about.

Esther Avant is a health industry veteran with 20 years of experience, passionately helping people stop starting over so they can build the consistency and confidence to create the kind of life they want — starting with their health. You can learn more about Esther at estheravant.com.

Some days I wake up feeling like a total fraud in the friendship department. Like if life went sideways at 2 AM I wouldn’t have a single person I could call who’d actually show up.

That thought is patently false. I do have those people. Just not a horde of Instagram “besties” clinking champagne glasses in matching outfits.

And I’m done pretending that’s the goal.

If I’ve learned anything from making friends as an adult is that it’s hard. And most of the people we call “friends” aren’t friends. They’re associates. Nice enough. Fun at happy hour. But when life’s on fire? Nowhere.

Here’s the part most people don’t want to admit: confidence doesn’t come from how many people know your name. It comes from knowing exactly who’s in your corner, without question. The ones who make you feel seen instead of judged. Ones who don’t care if you’re polished or a hot mess. Those are the people who make me stand taller.

And if you don’t think you have people like that? I’m not buying it. You might just be looking in the wrong places or expecting the wrong people to be part of your rescue crew. Who should be “promoted” into your inner circle? I’ve got some thoughts on how to figure that out and yeah, it’s going to take some guts to make those moves.

Life’s too short to keep judgmental, self-serving energy in the front row of your life. If you’ve ever felt alone in a room full of “friends,” this is the wake-up call. Confidence is knowing who shows up when it counts—and making damn sure they know you’ll do the same for them.

I’m done confusing convenience for commitment. In this episode of Real Confidence, I’m calling it out, and I’m naming exactly who belongs in my inner circle—and who doesn’t.