There’s a moment that sneaks up on you in conversations—someone starts talking and, before you know it, you're deep in the weeds of their breakup, their boss drama, their third cousin’s dog’s vet bill.

You’re nodding, maybe throwing in the occasional “Wow” or “That’s wild,” but inside you’re thinking: How did I get cast in this one-person show I didn’t audition for?

Take heart. This doesn’t happen because you’re too nice. It happens because somewhere along the way, we were taught that being a “good friend,” a “good colleague,” a “good person” means being endlessly available for other people’s emotional baggage—no matter how full our own arms already are.

Here’s what I want to challenge: the idea that listening without limits is a virtue.

Because it's not. It’s often a survival strategy. It’s the quiet fear that if we draw a line—if we interrupt, or redirect, or say, “Hey, I can’t hold all this right now”—we’ll be seen as selfish. Cold. Rude.

And fear is the enemy of confidence.

Confidence is not about being stone-faced or detached. It’s about knowing your capacity and honoring it. It’s about recognizing when a conversation has shifted from connection to emotional labor—and having the clarity to step out, without shame or apology.

And here's the paradox: when you model that kind of boundary, you give other people permission to do the same. You show that strength doesn’t come from over-functioning—it comes from being honest about your limits.

This episode is your call to pay attention to where your energy is going. To stop treating emotional overload like a social obligation. And to start seeing boundaries not as a defense, but as a commitment to your own peace.

You ever find yourself stuck — your brain playing the same mental track on repeat? That loop of doubt, second-guessing, and what-ifs that you can’t switch off? It’s exhausting AND believe it or not, those loops aren’t your enemy.

They’re the secret doorway to a kind of confidence no one talks about.

My guest on this episode, Amy Kemp, has spent years untangling how these mental patterns work. She’s not here to hand you easy answers or you-go-girl pep talks. Instead, she helps us see the messy, tangled process beneath the polished idea of confidence — how real strength comes from leaning into those repeating thoughts, not trying to silence them.

Get ready because Amy and I get intimate with those thought loops — the ones that trip us up, keep us stuck, and sometimes even feel like our worst enemy. Then, Amy shows us how to tune into the vital clues these loops carry. If you learn to listen to your thoughts differently, you can find your way out and rebuild confidence from the ground up.

No pretending to be fearless. No faking it till you make it. It’s about owning the struggle, understanding what your mind’s really doing, and using that knowledge to create a confidence that’s solid, authentic, and unshakable.

Highlights from our conversation:

• Why the mental loops you dread are actually the foundation of lasting confidence.
• How embracing discomfort rewires your brain to break free from stuck thinking.
• The patterns hidden inside your thought loops that signal where your real power lies.
• Why confidence grows through fear, not despite it.
• Concrete steps to turn repetitive doubts into your greatest strengths.

Amy Kemp is the owner & CEO of Amy Kemp, Inc. As a certified Habit Finder coach, Amy helps leaders and business professionals understand how deeply thought habits impact every part of their work and lives. Learn more about Amy, her work and her book, I See You, at amykemp.com.

I’ve spent years studying what real confidence looks like—studying it, practicing it, helping other people build it. And one thing I know for sure? Most of us are still waiting for permission.

We think once the signs are all pointing the right way, or we’ve gathered enough evidence, or we feel 100% certain, then we’ll choose. Then we’ll move. Then we’ll feel confident.

But that’s not how it works. That’s not how it ever works.

Confidence doesn’t show up fully formed before the decision. It shows up because of it. You choose first—often in the fog, often with shaky hands—and then, step by step, the confidence follows.

That choice might be finally walking away from a job you’ve outgrown. It might be naming what you really want in a relationship that’s been in “polite autopilot” for too long. It might be applying for the thing you’re not quite “qualified” for, or saying no to something everyone else thinks you should want.

These aren’t easy choices. But they’re the ones that shift everything.

This episode is for the moment right before you move—when you’re circling the truth but haven’t spoken it yet, when the decision is hanging in the air and your brain is still begging for a guarantee. The kind that says, I want “this”, even if no one else claps.

If you’ve been circling something—an idea, a shift, a truth you’re not quite ready to say out loud—this episode’s for you. Because we’re going to talk about what it takes to choose your life before it all makes sense and why that’s often the most confident move you can make.