Episodes

  • Space Truckers
    May 9 2025

    John Canyon (Dennis Hopper) has it all figured out. He’s going to make some decent cash and marry Cindy (Debi Mazar) by bringing her to Earth to see her mom. Mike Pucci (Stephen Dorff) joins this crew and adds some complications. Shouldn’t be a big deal though. They simply need to deliver a large shipment of sex dolls. Sex dolls? No! 5,000 deadly robots are on this cargo train! If this wasn’t enough, Nabel (Charles Dance) is emitting a “low-amp electrical wang pulse” all over the place. RTS does their best to navigate through black rock asteroids. Collin tries his first square hog. With the proper seasoning, he said it isn’t that bad. Jeremy and La-Mar watch Keller (George Wendt) get sucked out of a window. They both just stand and watch. The life of a space trucker is a storied one for sure. After this, you might need to rebuild your mind.

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    1 hr and 11 mins
  • Eliminators
    May 2 2025

    Ever since he was a little boy, Abbott Reeves (Roy Dotrice) has dreamed of time travel and conquering his own Roman empire. It’s every boy’s dream. But, is it really? Now, closer to his dreams than ever, he has to deal with an entire team of Eliminators souring his time-party. We have an out of program-control Mandroid (Patrick Reynolds), a scientist, Nora Hunter (Denise Crosby), with all sorts of ideas and a cool mini robot, a riverboat wildcard, Harry Fontana (Andrew Prine) and a freakin’ ninja, Kuji (Conan Lee). Having a ninja in your crew ALWAYS pays off! Once assembled, they will stop at nothing to dash the dreams of Reeves. RTS speedboats around and checks out the local scene – there isn’t much to report outside the constant explosions. Jeremy avoids becoming a stew for a lost neanderthal tribe, La-Mar desperately tries to explain all of this to Harry and Collin masters the art of hand cooking fish with Kuji. Out of all of the things one could do if time travelling, Reeves seems to have it in check. “That’s the power of love!”

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    1 hr and 16 mins
  • The Quick and the Dead
    Apr 25 2025

    The Quick Draw Competition is on! This is the only way to seek sanctioned justice, make a lot of cash and/or is a way to make a name for yourself. In this town, everyone’s got a story, and everyone’s got a reason. It’s all kind of a crappy town that nobody really wants to live in. Sam Raimi directs this gunslinger’s paradise. There is an entire cast worthy of checking out here. Ellen (Sharon Stone), Cort (Russell Crowe), Kid (Leonardo DiCaprio), Sgt. Cantrell (Keith David), Ace (Lance Henriksen), etc… make sure they’re all handy with the steel. Overseeing and dominating the competition is Herod (Gene Hackman), a villain with an interesting sense of rivalry and integrity. RTS rustles up a drink or two at the saloon. Ask for Horace (Pat Hingle). La-Mar and Collin bet on all the right brackets – they’re on a money train! All aboard! If you’ve got the grit, see this through.

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    1 hr and 15 mins
  • Men at Work
    Apr 18 2025

    Carl Taylor (Charlie Sheen) and James St. James (Emilio Estevez) are two sanitation workers who create as much of a mess as they are collecting. Due to their apathetic work ethics, they are now being observed by Louis Fedders (Keith David) to see if they can even do their jobs correctly. Through a series of events, one including Carl peeping on all of his neighbors through binoculars, the mayor is killed, shoved into an industrial barrel and is found on Carl and James’ route. Susan (Leslie Hope) was working for the mayor and now needs to be warned. Carl does just that as he starts to fall for her. A pizza delivery man (Dean Cameron) unwillingly joins this group, and everyone is set on taking down Maxwell Potterdam III (John Getz) and his environmental polluting ways. RTS acknowledges the sacredness of another man’s fries and would not dare to take them. Jeremy, La-Mar and Collin check out a taser on the beach. When you recover from that, make sure to provide everyone with a proper golf clap.

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    1 hr and 17 mins
  • Better Off Dead
    Apr 11 2025

    It’s our 150th episode! Thanks for listening! Paul acknowledges the unfortunate title and dedicates this episode to the life and birthday of his friend McKenzie. At the end of the episode, there is a song of theirs from many years ago. We hope you give it a listen. Lane Meyer (John Cusack) has been recently dumped by Beth (Amanda Wyss), his dad (David Ogden Stiers) demands he remedies the ‘tasty’ car that lays dominant in an “auto cocoon” in the front yard, his mom (Kim Darby) is boiling bacon until it turns blue, and he can’t make the ski team because Roy Stalin (Aaron Dozier) is giving him the high school bully treatment. Although Lane might feel hopeless and that life is meaningless at the moment, with a bit of encouragement and confidence he finds from Monique (Diane Franklin), Lane will realize “language lessons” are worth fighting for. RTS makes sure to pay their two dollars and eat some “fraunch bread.” Jeremy and La-Mar try "pure snow" with Charles De Mar (Curtis Armstrong). Then they try some “monster eggnog” that’s made with lighter fluid. Emily gets a coat made from real aardvark fur and a stack of TV dinners. Collin hits the K-12 to show us all how it's done! “He’s skiing on one ski!” Music by: Sigh, Growl. Happy Birthday, Kenz! XO

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    1 hr and 32 mins
  • Street Fighter
    Apr 4 2025

    Street fights to determine true fighting mastery! Traveling country to country to find the best of the best! Fireballs! You aren’t finding any of that here! Instead of what you are used to (and expecting), you get a story about Colonel Guile (Jean-Claude Van Damme) trying to save hostages, a reporter, Chun-Li (Ming-Na Wen), trying to break a story and petty criminals, Ken (Damian Chapa) and Ryu (Byron Mann), doing nonsensical things. Luckily, Cammy (Kylie Minogue) is cheery and willing to see this mission through. Together, they plan to take down the feared warlord M. Bison (Raul Julia) and his genetic testing and ridiculous Bison dollars. RTS harnesses their ki energy and Hadoken blasts all evil. Jeremy, La-Mar and Hazel admire Bison’s leisure attire and bone chandelier. Join us for Zangief’s realizations, wonky sets and Bison’s sad clown painting. Oh, Raul, you deserved better! Sonic Boom!

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    1 hr and 18 mins
  • Old School
    Mar 28 2025

    Mitch (Luke Wilson) has learned some interesting and startling news about his girlfriend Heidi (Juliette Lewis). Now, working his way through these revelations, he relocates and rents a house near a university. Mitch’s friends, Beanie (Vince Vaughn) and Frank (Will Ferrell), use this as an opportunity to make a party house to escape their adult lives. Snoop shows up! “Snoop-a-loop.” When Dean Pritchard tries to shut it all down, these three form a fraternity and do their best to keep the new pledges from being expelled, and they keep the good times going. RTS plans to go to Home Depot after the party. Maybe they’ll go to Bed, Bath, & Beyond. They don’t know if they’ll have enough time. La-Mar celebrates and honors Joseph “Blue” Pulaski (Patrick Cranshaw). “You’re my boy, Blue!” Jeremy takes a deep listen to The Dan Band. Collin astonishes us all with his ribbon performance. Hazel talks shop and all things tranquilizers with Peppers (Seann William Scott) on this meet cute. If things get too humorous in this fun flick, earmuffs!

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    1 hr and 22 mins
  • Weird Science
    Mar 21 2025

    John Hughes helms this fun 80s flick. We’ve got a couple of nerds, Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith), attending Shermer High School, and they just want to become popular. We know the story. But, did you think Frankenstein would inspire these two to “hack the planet” with their computer and create what they think is the perfect woman, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock)? Well, they do! The plan was simple. They want to shower with a woman, hit the city for drinks and some nightlife, and then they want to party. These two will get exactly what they want, but they are going to be shown some lessons along the way. Do they learn them? Probably not! Wyatt’s brother Chet (Bill Paxton) will try to enforce his own rules as well. RTS hangs out at the Kandy Bar and learns about the “family jewels.” La-Mar, Collin and Jeremy take on a Mad Max horde and make sure their party guests have a night to remember. When you are trying to recreate the “science” at home, make sure not to forget the doll. Also, make sure the water isn’t running all day while combing your hair.

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    1 hr and 20 mins