• Everyone Loves a Vegetable
    Jul 10 2025

    qmpodcast.com

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    47 mins
  • Senator Quackers and the Declaration of Rockets
    Jun 26 2025

    Jack and Brian open with their trademark banter riffing on the episode's tongue-in-cheek title: everyone claims to love vegetables, but nobody really does—setting a playful, satirical tone.

    From there, they launch into “Senator Quackers”, a political send-up where Jack embodies an absurd candidate (presumably a duck), delivering a humorous yet pointed take on modern election theatrics.

    That segues into an audio skit—an imaginative reading called “Biding Time with Biden”—featuring Kamala Harris, layered with surreal commentary in Brian and Jack’s signature smart-dumb style.

    Next, they shift into a nostalgic — and wildly entertaining — deep dive into 1980s MTV nostalgia, celebrating icons like Martha Quinn and Downtown Julie Brown. They riff on how MTV shaped pop culture, playfully contrasting then and now.

    Mid-episode, Brian dissects quirky cultural phenomenon by exploring the “hidden stories” behind famous song characters—offbeat anecdotes that latch into the episode’s quirky intellectual vibe.

    They then “travel” to Italy, poking fun at Tuscan reds and rolling their eyes at overhyped travel platforms—Airbnb versus “DrinkStay”—injecting snarky takes on contemporary vacation clichés .

    Later, Jack hits his comedic stride with the improvised book-pitch bonanza, tossing out ludicrous titles (A Treatise on Gravity by Jasmine Crockett, What by Joe Biden, etc.) with deadpan precision—one of the funniest highlights of the show.

    To close, they deliver a nostalgic salute to Nina Blackwood, wrapping up the episode with that classic affectionate-yet-absurd homage to ’80s pop culture .

    qmpodcast.com

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    51 mins
  • Set Your Iron to Anthill
    Jun 4 2025

    Brian doesn't need pockets. Naked people and a dog in the woods. Jack auditions for "Race for the Presidency." James Corden and crew hid Biden's mental decline. How to trick crocodiles. Jack auditions for "Sherlock's Legacy." Brian was tasked with rehabilitating plastic-polluter Coke's reputation. Timely Shirley MacLaine reference. Jack auditions for "Untitled Zombie Movie."

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    56 mins
  • The Tendercrotch Badge Is Not Legit
    May 15 2025

    Brian was a Swallow Scout. Another dead friend. Jack reads for a talking mime. Wilton CT Public Schools love social justice, but not really English. Jack's wife's up to no good. Jack reads for Wild Turkey. Brian talk about his rejected ad campaigns. Jack reads for Kensignton Organic Markets. qmpodcast.com

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    52 mins
  • Four Virgins Short of Paradise
    Apr 25 2025

    Jack reads for the Taylor Lorenz audiobook. Brian went on a tornado and flood adventure in rural Dixie. Slugburgers. Jack Junior is an umpire and needs tips. Jack reads for the Lauren Sanchez audiobook. Brian interned for the KGB and was paid in prostitutes. Jack reads for the Body Works School Textbook. qmpodcast.com

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    50 mins
  • Homage to George Lowe and Lou Gehrig's Uncle
    Apr 4 2025

    Biden campaign revelations from Fight, the book. Brian has too many dead friends. George Lowe's "Medieval World." Brian's to-do list. Secret Gay Cruising Club signal. Welcome Rockets. George Lowe's "Roadway Package Systems." Heightening. Lou Gherig's Uncle's Disease. Jack dreams of Brian. April Fool's Jokes. George Lowe's "Num Num." qmpodcast.com

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    52 mins
  • The Nazis Were All About Cat Pants
    Mar 27 2025

    Brian thinks GTA V has bugs. Jack reads The Real History of World War II by Daryl Cooper. Potential Marine is a wine thief. Speaking Tanya Hardingese. Jack reads Dolly Parton's memoir. A lump on the thyroid. An overly-thorough dentist. Possessing Lena Dunham antibodies. Jack reads Bouncy the Bunny.

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    52 mins
  • James Taylor Swift and the Miracle Whip Clinic
    Mar 20 2025

    Jack tries to land sponsor Everything You Want To Know About Fran Drescher. Jack hurt his brain a lot. RIP longtime pal George "Space Ghost" Lowe. Brian helps people with dementia. Jack tries to land sponsor Madeline Albright. Jack tries to land sponsor Splax. qmpodcast.com

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    42 mins