“It's like I'm not crazy. What I'm saying is correct. And it's correct for people who are Black, like myself, who are trying to find themselves in not 'the man and woman' but are trying to find themselves in the energy.”

I first came across Zee Monteiro (them/them) via a We Create Space article, written in 2022, entitled ‘Being both Non-Binary and a Black Woman’ - a powerful piece of writing & deeply personal self reflection that challenges assumptions around Trans+ experiences. I now gratefully get to work with Zee & share many spaces with them so it was brilliant to chat with them for ‘Pause. And Rewind…’

Zee is a multi-faceted & multi-talented writer, speaker, consultant & facilitator whose work centres largely around anti-racism, intersectionality, queerness & neurodivergence. As a highly-skilled storyteller, Zee used their lived experience & expertise to educate audiences on everything from inclusion, culture & representation.

Little Zee was a very free & active child who loved everyone with an affinity to run towards water. In their teens, they often felt isolated, sad & angry and this led to Zee struggling academically and experiencing periods of depression. And despite failing exams due to personal circumstances, Zee actually undertook an MA purely to piss their teachers off! Their Blackness was centred growing up yet they felt there was a missing focus on their gender - which undoubtedly something Zee now channels through their work.

At 22 wheb starting university, Zee started to come into their own when surrounded by others who also felt different. Their early venture into social work & delving into the community projects shaped the trajectory of Zee’s professional output & grounding in inclusion as they reflect “Inclusion was always at the centre of my work - I just didn’t include myself in it.”

We chat about the moment Zee first applied testosterone on their skin and how their transition has been the best journey of their life so far. During the conversation, Zee emphasises the need to “dance with fear”, reveals a big ambition of theirs & explains how rest brings them joy - largely through a love of the outdoors & saunas.

Zee is one of the coolest, wisest people I know - you’ll understand why when you listen in. ENJOY!

“There are certain base levels of respect that you must have for each human being. You know trans people are some of the most marginalized in society. Where is your humanity? Where is our collective humanity?”

A poignant & timely question from this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’

Oscar Davies (they/them) is the first publicly recognised non-binary barrister and a sought out speaker and advocate specialising in discrimination, education, employment, and human rights law. And it’s been a huge year for them! Oscar has just won the King’s College London Distinguished Alumni ‘Changemaker of the Year’ 2025 award for their advocacy on trans and non-binary rights - take a wander outside the Strand Campus & you’ll see their photo featured alongside historical change makers. And in 2024, Oscar was named LGBTQ+ Champion of the Year at the Legal 500 ESG Awards.

This was my first big proper conversation with Oscar and we covered A LOT of ground from the power of the queer community when it comes together through to the way they use their privilege & expertise as a way of giving the Trans+ community a sense of hope. We discuss Oscar’s social media profile as the @nonbinarybarrister being quite a deliberate move too.

Describing Little Oscar as “a precocious child”, Oscar shares how they embraced their individualism & ‘fruity angles’ - including being cast as Elizabeth I in a school play - during their younger years but later chose to repress themself in order to excel academically. With a strong self of self & core values from a young age, it’s no wonder that Oscar is doing what they’re doing right now - despite initially wanting a career as a pop star.

We chat about Oscar’s professional & work-life balance, ADHD, owning their fabulousness and being called a dying swan by a hater - an amusing insult that Oscar leans into. And there’s more exciting things coming up for Oscar too with their forthcoming book which seeks to furnish queers with their rights so they can use them in any situation as well as a documentary about them.

“Individualism is so much weaker than synthesis.” Oscar is deeply invested in the communal self & radical love for others… with a passion for dancing & justice. I loved this conversation - I’m sure you will too!

PLEASE NOTE: We do cover some sensitive topics including the current landscape for the Trans+ community so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“It’s Ali being Ali.” And that’s exactly why this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ is so so loved!

Ali Hendry (she/her) trains coaches across many different areas including relationships, holistic life coaching and mentoring as well as being a coach herself in many of these areas including DEI & public speaking. She also hosts the Diva Relationship Room on Instagram every Thursday at 6pm (check it out) & writes a monthly column for Diva too.

I have the privilege of knowing Ali as a colleague, an activist, a TEDx coach and a fellow sober raver on the dance floor so it was great to spend time diving into her origin story - and we share A LOT in common!

On her first day of school, Little Ali was off & running through the school gates - her love of people & education is very much part of Ali’s story from a young age. Despite leaving school at 16 to work in a bank to earn money believing further studying wasn’t for her, Ali went on to do A-Levels & a Psychology degree. Her career has taken many twists & turns and she shares the story of how she found herself in the coaching world.

Creating a sense of belonging is fundamental to who Ali is through all of her work. I found it fascinating that she was able to pinpoint the definitive moment in which she found her grounding in inclusion with a commitment to continued learning & understanding the experiences of others. Especially those that ‘colour outside the lines’. Ali possesses a unique finesse when it comes to blending her professional expertise with her own lived experience whether that’s talking about ageing, menopause, neurodivergence, parenting or polyamory - it’s all part of her story & Ali truly believes that storytelling accompanied by authenticity, empathy & vulnerability changes hearts & minds.

When I ask her about her neurodivergence, Ali also delivers a cracking statement to reflect on things “The more we queer life, the more we open to its magnificence.” BOOM.

We reminisce fondly about London’s glorious 00’s scene & many of its lost venues - and Ali’s foray into performing, curating events & workshops for gay women. Ali also shares how she’s worked her way to a phenomenal work-life balance today.

You’re in for a beautiful conversation. Enjoy! And if you haven’t already seen it, check out Ali’s TEDx talk ‘The Survivor’s Guide to Jealousy’.