You're not alone if you have tough, scary, horrible thoughts after ending a wanted pregnancy, terminating a wanted pregnancy, having an abortion for medical reasons. When you've lost a baby in pregnancy after a horrible prenatal diagnosis, of course not all your thoughts are cheery and light.

In this episode I talk about some hard thoughts you may be struggling with, and a safe space you could join if you'd like someone to hold you through it.

The thoughts that keep you up at 3am after TFMR aren't talked about in regular grief spaces. They're too raw, too complex, too misunderstood. But having these thoughts doesn't make you a monster… it makes you HUMAN.

In this solo episode, I share 5 of the toughest thoughts TFMR parents carry, from hoping your baby would die naturally to realizing there's no safe time in pregnancy. These aren't easy to hear, but if you've had them, you need to know you're not alone and you're not broken. We hold these thoughts together because that's the only way they become bearable.

Special holiday support package with a 1:1 session AND "Peace of Mind: Audio mindfulness program for TFMR parents" here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/holiday-support

START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:
📧 Email me, I want to hear from you: sabrina @ the tfmrdoula . com
📅 If you’ve received a devastating diagnosis and want emotional support through deciding what’s next, book a Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.html
‌
MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:
For more TFMR support, join us over on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula
💜 Join our Facebook group: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup
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🎙 Want to share your story on Our TFMR Stories?
Email Sabrina sabrina @ the TFMR doula . com to be featured on the podcast
‌
Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
...

Re-released episode, originally from 2023.

Grief can be especially hard around the holidays and through the new year with expectations to be "joyful" and "cheerful." In this episode I answer questions from other TFMR parents in the community about getting through the holidays. You'll hear 4 main tips PLUS an explanation of "Grieving in 4D."

This episode was originally recorded as a live video in the TFMR Support Circle Facebook group. Apply to join us here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup to listen to episodes early.

Other links mentioned:
Get your free copy of the guide "Self-care in the Grief of TFMR" here: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/tfmr-self-care

Special holiday support package with a 1:1 session AND "Peace of Mind: Audio mindfulness program for TFMR parents" here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/holiday-support

START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:
📧 Email me, I want to hear from you: sabrina @ the tfmrdoula . com
📅 If you’ve received a devastating diagnosis and want emotional support through deciding what’s next, book a Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.html
‌
‌MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:
For more TFMR support, join us over on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula
💜 Join our Facebook group: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup
‌
🎙 Want to share your story on Our TFMR Stories?
Email Sabrina sabrina @ the TFMR doula . com to be featured on the podcast
‌
Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
...

In Part 2 of 2 of Rachel Polans' TFMR story, we move into what happened after her baby’s rare ‘de novo’ genetic mutation diagnosis. The D&E procedure in Brooklyn, the physical reality of being postpartum without a baby. Rachel talks about what it was like being in a general surgery pre-op area with people there for all kinds of procedures, not a space designed for pregnancy loss.

Rachel shares about the haunting due date, seeing other people who were pregnant at the same time have their babies, and struggling with the medical record that says "elective termination" when that's not what this was at all.

Rachel also opens up about how being a genetic counselor shaped her grief differently - she never even knew the term TFMR existed until after her loss, even though she had counseled families through this exact experience.

If you're postpartum without your baby, if you're struggling with how the medical system names (or doesn’t name) what happened to you, if you work in healthcare and nobody prepared you for living through this yourself, or if you're trying to find your people and don't know what to search for: I hope Rachel's honesty about finding the TFMR community and now navigating pregnancy after loss will help you feel less alone.

Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your baby's story with us 💜

Rachel also wants to share her Instagram profile if you’d like to reach out to her:

https://www.instagram.com/rachel_polans

START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

📧 Email me, I want to hear from you: sabrina @ the tfmrdoula . com You can have specific grief support in the heartbreak of TFMR.

📅 If you’ve received a devastating diagnosis and want emotional support through deciding what’s next, book a Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.html

MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:

For more TFMR support, join us over on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula

💜 Join our Facebook group: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story on Our TFMR Stories?
Email Sabrina sabrina @ the TFMR doula . com to be featured on the podcast

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/