If you've spent any amount of time in long-term relationships, you've likely experienced a relationship rut: a season where things feel a bit harder, less connected, and more conflict-ridden. And while it's perfectly normal for relationships to ebb and flow along with life, sometimes we can find ourselves stuck in this place for longer than we'd like.

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tips for what you can do if you find yourself in a relationship rut. The focus is on things that are within your control — not because the relationship work is less important, but because I find it helps with creating fresh energy and momentum to feel like you can immediately take action to shift how you're feeling no matter what your partner is doing or not doing.

Links

• Join the Black Friday sale waitlist
• Preorder my book, The Secure Self
• Explore free resources on my website

Preorder my book, The Secure Self

How do you know if your needs are reasonable and healthy, or if they're rooted in the anxious attachment patterns you're wanting to shift? This question, which is a really common struggle, is what we're unpacking in today's episode.

I share some thoughts on why the answer is actually less clear-cut than the question implies, why our anxious patterns make needs feel so fraught and risky, and what it really takes to know what we need and stand firmly for our wellbeing in our relationships and beyond.

Links

• Preorder my book, The Secure Self
• Explore my free resources on attachment healing
• Follow me on Instagram

Preorder my book, The Secure Self

If you have avoidant attachment patterns (or are partnered with someone who does), today's episode offers five truths about your patterns, blind spots, and protective mechanisms that, while perhaps hard to hear, are essential learning if you ultimately want to shift towards healthier relationships.

I talk about:

• How the myth of the perfect partner keeps you stuck in your avoidance
• Why your judgment of your partner's "neediness" is both unhelpful and revealing of your own suppressed emotions
• How your emotions affect the relationship just as much as your partner's, albeit in different ways
• The difference between being solely responsible for a partner's feelings and the reality of healthy interdependence
• The importance of stretching beyond what is comfortable and natural if you want to grow

Links

• Preorder my book, The Secure Self
• Free resources on attachment healing
• Follow me on Instagram