Episodes

  • Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 21, 2025

    Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 21, 2025
    Aug 21 2025
    Trump’s fraud gets a markdown: skyscrapers are cheaper than cough syrup. NIH loses 1,700 grants because DEI means “Don’t Employ Ideas.” Jersey’s top cop? Just a mall lawyer in heels. ICE threatens Boston, Wu says “fuck off.” FBI becomes UberCop Academy. Russia bombs coffee machines and kids. Cracker Barrel ghosts its racist mascot, Wall Street cries. Until next time, I’ll be huffing glue fumes for insight. Theo Jesterfield reporting from inside America’s clown car.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    5 mins
  • Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 20, 2025

    Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 20, 2025
    Aug 21 2025
    Epstein’s DOJ crumbs, 100,000 pages still sealed. Tulsi Gabbard turns intelligence into Microsoft Word for espionage. Israel rolls out “Gideon’s Chariots II” — Gaza as straight-to-DVD war. Texas gerrymanders democracy into a hostage trunk. Hurricane Erin toys with Cat 5 power. U.S. destroyers play narco-Shakespeare off Venezuela. Texas judge says no to Moses in homeroom. Until next time, I’ll be convincing myself to stop sniffing glue. Theo Jesterfield reporting.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    5 mins
  • Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 19, 2025

    Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 19, 2025
    Aug 20 2025
    Ukraine peace talks look like a peyote séance in a burning casino — Trump babbles, Putin grins, Zelensky spends billions, Europe mutters peacekeepers, America offers air cover but no boots. Trump wants a halo at Costco. Colleges pay tribute to the Orange Godfather. Epstein files redacted. Security clearances yanked. Deportation policy becomes a global hot potato. Until next time, I’ll be doubling down on 11 and Xanax. Theo Jesterfield reporting.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    6 mins
  • Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 18, 2025

    Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 18, 2025
    Aug 19 2025

    Zelensky shows up at the White House in a suit, Europe in tow, Trump grinning like a kid eyeing a Happy Meal Nobel. Hours earlier, 14 civilians dead in Ukraine—rockets meet roses, rubble meets reality. Wages still drowning, CEOs toast from yachts. Newsmax pays $67M for lies, Epstein’s death still under Barr’s CSI spotlight, and Hurricane Erin redecorates Puerto Rico. Republicans flee, files in tow, shame waiting.


    That’s all the news that’s fit to confuse. Another day in the American madhouse, keep your seatbelt fastened. Theo Jesterfield reporting.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    5 mins
  • Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 14, 2025

    Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 14, 2025
    Aug 15 2025

    The Vice President Vladimir Futon tried to book a table at a cozy Michelin-rated English pub — staff basically said, “Sure, if you want us to not show up for work.” Locals put up “Fascists Not Welcome” signs, making it clear he’s about as popular there as French soccer. Kamala? No problem. Vance? Road closures and rage.


    That’s all the news that’s fit to confuse. Another day in the American madhouse, keep your seatbelt fastened. For Nightly News Roundup, I’m Theo Jesterfield.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    5 mins
  • Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 13, 2025

    Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 13, 2025
    Aug 14 2025

    Trump’s got Scrooge McDuck money privileges, Putin got a ceasefire threat that might just be a meme, and the Treasury Secretary’s still clinging to his stocks like a bad Tinder match. Congress is cosplaying as the Epstein Truth Squad, the VA is bleeding staff, Kristi Noem is beefing with South Park, Ivanka’s booking UFC on the White House lawn, and Detroit seniors are solving love triangles with live ammo.


    Theo Jesterfield here, wading through cash vaults, cage fights, and bingo shootouts - all in a day’s work for America’s slow, stupid descent.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    5 mins
  • Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 12, 2025

    Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 12, 2025
    Aug 13 2025

    Tonight: Russia’s hacking America’s sealed court files while Trump preps for a Putin cuddle; Trump’s new BLS pick wants to kill the monthly jobs report; Florida’s schools turned into DeSantis’ propaganda playground; and Trump’s State Department wipes two-thirds of human rights abuses from its reports. Plus, ICE agents in masks are making it easier for rapists to impersonate them. I’m Theo Jesterfield, reporting from the bunker with enough vodka to kill half of Moscow.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    5 mins
  • Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 11, 2025

    Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 11, 2025
    Aug 12 2025
    Trump’s turning D.C. into The Purge despite a 30-year crime low, dumping troops, and handing Pam Bondi the keys to chaos. Meanwhile, FBI brags murder rates are historic lows. Florida’s “pet food” milk sickens kids. An anti-vax shooter hits the CDC. EPA guts climate rules. SCOTUS flirts with undoing gay marriage. Epstein files? Big nothing burger. Theo Jesterfield reporting from the 10th Circle of hell.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    7 mins