A lack of self-confidence shows up in small and big ways. Here are 5 not-so-obvious signs that you’re struggling with self-confidence, things that Mary is personally working on as well.

You will learn how to...

• stop trying to fill inner voids with external things
• start trusting yourself more
• get out of a victim mindset

Remember: No shiny new thing is going to give you the confidence, happiness, and positive feelings you’re looking for. You’re the only one who can change your mindset and it has to come from within.

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

And make sure to get Mary’s books two on self-love:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Ever wonder how some people move through life with ease, even when everything feels uncertain? According to Harvard psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer, it’s not about control—it’s about mindfulness. Mindfulness can be a vehicle to confidence, happiness and inner peace.

Dr. Ellen shares with us her refreshingly practical take on mindfulness—not as meditation, but as a way of engaging with the world that leads to more confidence and self-trust. You’ll hear her thoughts on why stress is optional, how to stop overthinking, and how letting go of “right vs. wrong” thinking can open up space for happiness.

You will learn how to...

• move through life more mindfully
• confidently make decisions
• be more comfortable with uncertainty
• break out of black-and-white thinking
• embrace your individuality

Remember: Self-confidence doesn’t come from knowing. Rather, confidence comes from noticing.

Ellen Langer earned her Ph.D. at Yale University in Social and Clinical Psychology and joined the faculty at Harvard in 1977. She is considered the mother of mindfulness and has written five books on the topic starting with her best-seller, Mindfulness, and her newest book, The Mindful Body: Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health. The Langer Lab conducts research on health, happiness, decision- making, education, business and culture all through the lens of mindfulness. Because of this research, among other honors, Professor Langer has earned three Distinguished Scientist Awards, The Staats Award for Unifying Psychology, a Guggenheim Fellowship, and The Liberty Science Genius Award.

If you’re enjoying this self-love podcast, send it to a friend or share a screenshot on social media! Your support helps keep this podcast—and the message of self-love, confidence, and mental health—alive and thriving.

If you are someone who loves building healthy relationships, communication skills, and personal growth, then this episode is for you.

A few years ago in couples therapy, I learned one simple relationship tip that completely changed the way I communicate, especially during conflict. It’s something I come back to again and again, whether I’m arguing with my husband or navigating tension with a family member.

This advice is so powerful because it works outside of romantic partnerships too—whether you're navigating tension with a friend, a family member, or anyone you love and respect.

In this episode, I’m walking you through the exact phrase my therapist said that stopped me in my tracks, helped my husband and I reconnect, and later, helped my sister and I move from feeling misunderstood to finally hearing each other.

But first, a big disclaimer: this tip only works with emotionally intelligent, securely attached people. It’s not for those in abusive dynamics or with people who are committed to misunderstanding you. If that’s something you’ve struggled with, I hope this episode gives you clarity on when to apply healthy communication tools—and when to have the self-worth to step away.

You’ll learn:

• Why being “right” is overrated in relationships
• How to shift from objective truth to subjective experiences
• What emotionally-intelligent conflict resolution actually sounds like
• How to move from defensiveness to connection in under 10 minutes

Whether you're in a long-term relationship or just want to improve how you show up for the people you love, this episode will give you the mindset shift you didn’t know you needed.

Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:

1. *The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. *100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast

If you’re enjoying this self-love podcast, share it with the women in your life to spread the gift of self-love!

Mentioned In This Episode...

Ep. 170: Intentional Wedding Planning and Artful Gathering with Priya Parker

Ep. 257: Me and My Sister Recap Our Trip to France Ep. 258: Confidence Advice for Teen Girls (feat. My Amazing Sister)

Ep. 258: Confidence Advice for Teen Girls (feat. My Amazing Sister)

Podcast Episode with relationship therapist, Terry Real

Ep. 183: The Best Communication Book