Talking points: trauma

This week, I sit down with Tim Fletcher to explore the deep and often misunderstood world of complex trauma. We unpack how subtle childhood experiences like emotional neglect or identity suppression can shape our nervous systems, relationships, and sense of self for decades.

Tim breaks down the science and psychology behind trauma and its complexity, and offers insights into how healing actually happens. If you've ever struggled with anxiety, emotional reactivity, or feeling disconnected, this one is for you.

(00:00:00) – Introduction to Tim Fletcher and What Is Complex Trauma?

(00:06:20) – Subtle Forms of Childhood Trauma

(00:12:00) – Simple vs. Complex Trauma

(00:19:20) – Adult Symptoms of Complex Trauma

(00:28:10) – How Trauma Shapes the Brain

(00:37:50) – Recovery and Co-regulation

(00:54:00) – Presence, Addiction, and Connection

Tim Fletcher started helping people as a pastor over 30 years ago. When he experienced some significant personal trauma, he transitioned into the addiction treatment sector. Over the last 15 years through countless hours of counselling sessions, training in the various treatment programs and building on the research of Gabor Mate, he started to correlate the connection between Complex Trauma and life problems. Tim was guided by statistics that over 90% of people with addiction challenges suffer from Complex Trauma. Tim is becoming widely-known across the globe and is sought after for counselling, teaching, training, and seminars. Thousands tune in each week to watch his Friday Night Videos.

Connect with Tim

-Website: https://www.timfletcher.ca/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timfletcherco/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TimFletcher

Talking points: anxiety, attention, mindset

What if the jitters aren't just from the extra coffee this morning? What if you're taking in too much info, courtesy of the never-ending scroll? There's something underneath it all, team, and building resiliency against that can be an absolute game changer. Here's how.

(00:00:00) - What’s underneath all anxiety, and what it does

(00:03:01) - Why this is relevant to men

(00:06:38) - The Cheesecake Factory Effect

(00:09:15) - So what do you do, and what real freedom involves

(00:15:33) - Do it scared, and do it to completion (with a caveat)

(00:19:43) - Find the joy in the process, NOT the outcome

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Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

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Talking points: relationship, attachment, culture

I love Stan because he's able to cut through so much of the modern BS around relationships, and get straight to practical, tactical perspectives and advice. We covered a TON of ground here, from the importance of social contracts and mutual protection, to the need for shared vision and purpose in creating equitable and collaborative relationships.

This is definitely a convo that will spark some discussion, so listen in, team.

(00:00:00) - Intro and the nature of secure functioning

(00:05:52) - Human Nature and Relationship Dynamics

(00:10:01) - Impact of Technology on Relationships

(00:23:35) - Creating Secure Functioning Relationships

(00:35:06) - Predictability and Prevention in Relationships

(00:36:51) - The Importance of Quick Repair

(00:43:02) - Mutual Protection and Solidarity

(00:47:20) - Compatibility and Relationship Agreements

(00:51:59) - The Role of Attachment in Relationships

(01:00:42) - Final Thoughts and Practical Advice

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a renowned expert in human behaviour and couple relationships, known for developing the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). He is a global speaker and teacher on secure-functioning relationships, with his insights reaching over 1.7 million viewers through his TEDx talk. Stan has authored six bestselling books, translated into multiple languages, and has published numerous academic articles.

In 2010, Stan co-founded the PACT Institute with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, to train therapists in integrating psychobiological approaches into their practices. His work has earned him the Educator of the Year award from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA in 2014.

Stan leads couples in creating healthy attachments through his clinical practice in Calabasas, California, and Wired For Love Couple Retreats. He has held academic positions at UCLA and serves on the boards of Lifespan Learning Institute and Relationships First. A former president of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, Ventura County chapter, Stan is trained in various psychotherapeutic techniques, including Adult Attachment, Facial Action Coding System, and Vipassana meditation.

Connect with Dr. Tatkin

-Website: https://www.thepactinstitute.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drstantatkin/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PactTrainingInstitute

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Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation |