"I'm fine." It's a lie that so many men tell. Not only to others, but to themselves. In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore the quiet conditioning that teaches boys to “shake it off,” “man up,” and never let anyone see them cry. From scraped knees and hockey rinks to boys’ dormitories and adult relationships, they unpack how early praise for toughness can harden into emotional isolation. When vulnerability is equated with weakness, many men are left with only two socially acceptable settings: silence or anger. Drawing from clinical experience and personal reflection, they examine how suppressed emotion can morph into depression, anxiety, explosive rage, or a painful sense of disconnection—and how the pressure to fix rather than feel keeps real intimacy at bay. At its core, this conversation challenges a cultural script that rewards stoicism while quietly eroding connection, and offers a radical reframe: expressing what hurts is not weakness, but strength. Because healing doesn't always begin with solving the problem. Sometimes it begins with simply being heard.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

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Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

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In this uplifting episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW carve out some time with guest Andrew Tepper, LCSW, founder of BODA Therapy in New York, to talk about something that often gets overlooked in mental health work: joy. Andrew shares how his program blends short-term retreats in the Catskills, skill-based therapies like CBT and DBT, and real-world accountability to support clients beyond the traditional therapy hour. Together, the three clinicians discuss the power of experiential therapy, creative expression, and collaborative connection as pathways to healing. Drawing on Andrew’s 15 years of experience as a clinician in an inpatient psychiatric hospital, the conversation explores how music, theater, and shared creative experiences can lower defenses, build trust, and make therapy feel more human. Instead of focusing solely on pathology or pain, this episode asks a simple but radical question: What if recovery could also include fun? By celebrating the spark that happens when a clinician and a client create something together, Christopher, Kenyon, and Andrew demonstrate how skill-building, connection, and joy can coexist in the therapeutic process.

To learn more about Andrew Tepper, LCSW, visit the BODA Therapy website and connect with him on Instagram and LinkedIn.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

Send a text

What if perfectionism isn’t your greatest strength, but your most exhausting defense? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW approach perfectionism not as a badge of honor, but as a trauma-informed coping strategy rooted in fear, shame, and the need for control. They explore how the drive to be flawless often comes from a deeper belief that we are only lovable or worthy when we perform at our best, and how all-or-nothing thinking and emotional “masking” keep us stuck in cycles of anxiety, burnout, and self-criticism. Ultimately, the conversation moves toward a gentler truth: Life is mostly gray area, not black or white—and real connection begins when we allow ourselves to be imperfect. If we can take off our masks, something more honest—and more sustainable—can take its place. From relationships to parenting to the quiet voice in our own heads, this episode invites listeners to trade the pressure of perfection for the relief of “good enough"—and to practice the radical act of accepting life on life’s terms.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.