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What if perfectionism isn’t your greatest strength, but your most exhausting defense? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW approach perfectionism not as a badge of honor, but as a trauma-informed coping strategy rooted in fear, shame, and the need for control. They explore how the drive to be flawless often comes from a deeper belief that we are only lovable or worthy when we perform at our best, and how all-or-nothing thinking and emotional “masking” keep us stuck in cycles of anxiety, burnout, and self-criticism. Ultimately, the conversation moves toward a gentler truth: Life is mostly gray area, not black or white—and real connection begins when we allow ourselves to be imperfect. If we can take off our masks, something more honest—and more sustainable—can take its place. From relationships to parenting to the quiet voice in our own heads, this episode invites listeners to trade the pressure of perfection for the relief of “good enough"—and to practice the radical act of accepting life on life’s terms.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

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Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.