What does it actually mean to be yourself—as a father, a husband, a professional, and a man?

In this episode, Sam and Cole unpack a realization that hit on the road after a show: the rare gift of not having to switch identities depending on where you are. From music scenes and corporate boardrooms to family life and friendships, they explore what it looks like to live with one consistent core—and why that matters so deeply for our kids.

The conversation moves through childhood conditioning, school systems, emotional responsibility, masculinity, and the subtle ways parents (often unintentionally) teach kids to trade authenticity for approval. They talk about why many men struggle to admit what they don’t know, how “must be nice” thinking quietly erodes leadership, and why modeling humility, curiosity, and emotional honesty might be one of the most important things we pass on.

This episode isn’t about having parenting figured out. It’s about asking better questions: Can you be the same person at work, at home, and with your friends? Are your kids learning who they are—or who they think you want them to be? And what kind of family culture are you actually building?

A grounded, honest conversation about identity, fatherhood, and the freedom that comes from telling the truth about who you are.

What happens when your kids look back and tell the story of you as a father?

In this episode, we ditch the outline and go somewhere deeper. Drawing on 15+ years of real-world grief recovery work, Cole shares what he’s seen time and time again when adults “graph” their relationship with their fathers—what hurt, what helped, and what never got resolved.

The surprising takeaway? Most dads weren’t bad. They were well-intentioned, hard-working men who simply didn’t have the emotional tools their kids needed.

We talk about:

• Why anger often becomes a man’s emotional armor—and how it pushes kids away

• How unresolved pain with your own father quietly shapes how you parent

• Why being a provider isn’t enough in 2025

• The difference between masculinity and emotional absence (it’s not either/or)

• How kids internalize belief systems that were never theirs to carry

• Why emotional completion—not perfection—is the real goal of fatherhood

This episode is a call to evolve—not to abandon strength, but to expand it. To be the kind of father who can protect fiercely and connect deeply. The kind of dad your kids won’t need to emotionally “recover” from later.

If you’ve ever worried about getting it wrong… If you want your kids to feel safe bringing their hearts to you… If you believe fatherhood deserves more than just “showing up”…

This conversation is for you.

Resources mentioned:

• The Grief Recovery Handbook

• When Children Grieve

• Support: support@thegriefrecoverymethod.com

If this episode resonated, please leave a rating or review—it helps other dads find conversations like this, and it means more to us than you know.

Being a father changes everything—including how you approach fitness. In this episode, Sam and Cole get real about what working out actually looks like when you have young kids, a demanding job, and zero hours to spare.

They break down the uncomfortable truths nobody shares: there is no perfect schedule, your progress won't be linear, and you'll have months where everything falls apart. But here's the thing—that's all part of the deal.

Sam and Cole challenge popular fitness culture that ignores family life entirely, from Instagram influencers with 8-hour training days to CrossFit programs that leave people burned out. They make the case for why every dad should be lifting weights (not cardio), building a a simple home gym, and lowering expectations while staying consistent.

Topics covered:

• Why time isn't given, it's created
• The benefits of working out in street clothes at home
• How lifting weights impacts everything from mental health to patience with your kids
• The dark truth about cardio culture
• Building a prison gym 2.0 in your garage

If you're tired of fitness advice from people who don't have kids, this one's for you.

Key Topics: fatherhood, fitness for dads, home gym, weightlifting, staying in shape with kids, parenting, men's health, testosterone, workout motivation

In this episode, Cole and Sam tackle a listener question that opens up a much larger conversation about career choices, money, and fatherhood. A listener working in public transportation faces a decision: accept a 50% pay increase that would require unpredictable schedules and being on-call for the next 10 years, or maintain his current stable schedule but stay at his current income level. His own father worked night shifts and felt like "a stranger" to him growing up.

Cole and Sam explore the broader themes this question raises: How do fathers balance career ambitions with being present for their kids? Is the American obsession with constantly increasing income actually serving families? What does real wealth look like when you factor in time with your children?

Topics covered:

• The illusion of "stable" careers in modern America
• House rich vs. house poor: avoiding the mortgage trap
• The hidden costs of hustle culture and "grinding" for your family
• Generational wealth: building it without ruining your kids
• Creative solutions for non-traditional career paths
• Why your purpose changed the moment you became a father

Whether you're considering a career change, struggling with work-life balance, or wondering if you can "afford" another child, this conversation challenges conventional wisdom about success and reminds fathers what truly matters.

In this episode, Sam and Cole dive into why physicality and self-defense are crucial components of raising confident, capable kids in 2025. Fresh off their own travels (Cole from three weeks filming a TV show in Texas, Sam from quick trip to the Netherlands), they discuss how maintaining physical readiness impacts everything from mental health to parenting effectiveness.

Key Topics Covered:

• Starting Early: How to introduce physicality to young children through nature exploration, wrestling with dad, and letting kids navigate physical challenges without overreacting to every bump and scrape
• Building Confidence: Why physical skills like jiujitsu or weightlifting create undeniable self-confidence that can't be taken away—unlike achievements that depend on others' approval
• The Jiujitsu Journey: Why both hosts enrolled all their kids in jiujitsu and the life lessons it teaches about winning, losing, discipline, and reality testing
• Self-Defense Reality: The uncomfortable but necessary conversation about being prepared to protect your family in an unpredictable world
• Avoiding Overcorrection: How to support kids emotionally while not coddling them physically—knowing when to step in and when to let them self-regulate
• Leading by Example: Why dads need to maintain their own physicality and what message it sends when you let yourself go

Practical Takeaways:

• Get kids outside in nature early and often (Move Naturally philosophy)
• Make wrestling with dad a regular occurrence
• Don't over-react to minor physical injuries—let kids self-assess
• Consider martial arts training (especially jiujitsu) for pressure-tested skills
• Model physical readiness yourself as a father

Whether you grew up physically active or not, this episode challenges you to think about what you're passing on to your kids and how physicality builds the kind of confidence that translates into every area of life.

In this episode, we tackle one of the most critical—and overlooked—skills in fatherhood: telling the truth about yourself emotionally.

Cole shares a heartbreaking story about losing his friend and the regret of never expressing what their friendship meant. This loss shaped how he now approaches relationships—refusing to withhold important messages from the people he cares about, even when it feels awkward or uncomfortable.

What we cover:

• Why "I'm fine" is slowly killing men and destroying relationships
• How emotional isolation contributes to male suicide rates
• The specific skill of staying "emotionally complete" with people
• How to disclose honestly while maintaining boundaries
• Why the toughest people you know are often the most emotionally intelligent
• What you're unknowingly teaching your kids about emotions
• The slow death of marriages and father-child relationships built on surface-level communication

This isn't about being soft—it's about being real. Because your kids don't want a robot for a father, and your wife doesn't want a caricature of masculinity. They want you.

In this second Q&A episode, Sam and Cole dive into listener questions covering everything from breaking generational cycles to finding your people in a new place.

Topics covered:

Breaking the Cycle - Cole explains the "loss history graph" as a tool for self-assessment when dealing with unresolved grief from difficult childhoods. They discuss why emotional completeness with your past is essential before you can truly parent differently.

Finding Community - Both hosts share how they built their friend networks through their wives meeting other parents at kids' activities, forest schools, and shared interests.

Why Northern Idaho? - Sam and Cole explain what drew them to the region: homeschool-friendly culture, outdoor lifestyle, family-centered values, and the freedom to live differently. They discuss the trade-offs of living far from extended family.

Budgeting - The hosts admit they're not Dave Ramsey disciples, preferring life experiences over extreme frugality. Sam shares his simple spreadsheet approach and "real money budgeting" philosophy, while both agree that financial alignment in marriage is crucial.

The Hardcore Question - Sam addresses whether he's gotten pushback from hardcore friends for his faith, and explains why hardcore's inclusivity is one of its best features.

Refueling as a Dad - Practical advice on daily buffers (early morning workouts, evening downtime) versus longer "vision quests," plus the importance of reciprocating when asking for solo time.

Supporting Kids Through Grief - Cole offers compassionate guidance to a single mom navigating her children's grief, emphasizing that parents must work through their own grief first before they can effectively help their kids.

The episode wraps with gratitude for the growing community and a reminder that this podcast isn't trying to be mainstream - it's for parents who know something's off about modern parenting culture and want to do things differently.

In this raw and unfiltered episode, Sam and Cole dive deep into one of the most important conversations for modern fathers: why going against mainstream culture isn't just okay—it's essential for your family's wellbeing.

Drawing from Sam's background in hardcore punk music, they explore how some of the defining features of punk music can directly translate to making better parenting decisions in 2025. They break down why the "norms" of modern parenting weren't necessarily designed with your family's best interests in mind.

KEY TOPICS:

• Why corporate interests, not your wellbeing, shape parenting "norms"

• The food pyramid, sugar studies, and other industry manipulation

• How Cole arrived at counter-culture parenting without the punk background

• Screen time, technology, and what tech companies know (but won't tell you)

• Education, home birth, homesteading, and other controversial choices

• The DIY mentality: doing it yourself while building real community

This isn't about being difficult for the sake of it—it's about protecting your kids from systems designed to profit from their confusion, sickness, and dependence. If you've ever felt like the "normal" way of raising kids doesn't sit right with you, this episode will give you the framework and courage to trust your instincts.