This week’s shiur comes with a warning: parenting is triggering because it not only exposes our children’s inner world, it exposes ours.

Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David continue the conversation about the three garments of the soul—thought, speech, and action— and apply it to a core parenting question: How do we build our child’s world of emotions in a healthy, Torah-aligned way?

We explore what it can look like when a parent is emotionally blocked (chasum), how that can echo through marriage, friendships, and even one’s relationship with Hashem—and why “being frum” is not the same thing as emotional closeness. Along the way, we touch on attachment theory (including Rabbi Yaakov Danishefsky’s Attached), the difference between “open” and “everything goes,” and why chinuch isn’t only about fixing negative emotions—but also about actively building confidence, love, and joy.

Takeaway: Emotional safety isn’t permissiveness. It’s a home where the child can grow and where feelings can be named, held, and guided… without shutting the child down or turning the home into a free-for-all.
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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com

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CHAPTERS
00:00 Sponsorship and Memorial Acknowledgments
01:23 Trigger Warning and Parenting Focus
02:37 Three Garments of the Soul
04:59 Emotional Blockage in Parents
08:29 Childhood Origins of Emotional Closure
11:09 Open vs Closed Emotional States
14:43 Illusion of Spiritual Closeness
16:49 Attachment Theory and the Book “Attached”
21:04 Scope of Emotional Education
48:20 Psychologists vs Parental Duty in Child Development
49:25 Common Questions and Experience of Seasoned Parents
51:32 Beyond Negative Emotions: Building Confidence and Joy
53:37 Love and Joy as Part of Chinuch
55:03 Conclusion and Next Session Plans

When parenting gets loud—mischief, nerves, anger—what actually brings you back to yourself?

Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David continue the conversation about love, but take it somewhere very practical: love as the daily mindset that quiets anger and restores perspective in the moment.

We explore why “hashkacha” tricks to suppress frustration often fail, and why the most effective preparation is what happens before the moment: training yourself to think loving thoughts throughout the day. Along the way, we learn from the “default emunah” example of Reb Leo Dee, connect this to Azamra (finding the good), and reframe success in parenting: not “did my child behave,” but who did I become when I could’ve lost it—and didn’t.

We close by opening the next focus: emotional investment in children, the tension between authority and hierarchy in the home, and how to keep parenting from becoming pressure, so it can return to wonder.

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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com
Join Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t

CHAPTERS
00:00 Sponsorship and Introduction
01:03 Continuing Last Week's Topic
02:07 Soul’s Three Garments: Thought, Speech, Action
03:15 Thinking Love: Machshava
05:07 Dealing with Child Mischief and Anger
07:09 Attempting to Suppress Anger (lehashkiach)
12:29 Extreme Faith Example from Reb Leo
17:51 Azamra: Recognizing Good in Others
22:35 Outcome Focus: Becoming a Calm Parent
23:46 Parenting: From Pressure to Wonderment
24:54 Finding the Real Outcome of Parenting
26:06 Defining the Perfect Goal for Our Children
27:15 Upcoming Focus: Emotional Investment in Children
28:47 The Best Friend vs Spouse Debate
30:41 Natural Love vs Deeper V'ahavta l'Reiache
32:46 Couples as Model for Mutual Love
36:10 Authority and Hierarchy in the Home
41:24 Practical Solution: Daily Loving Thoughts
44:15 When Parental Love Expressions Fade
45:15 Connecting Children to Their Souls
48:12 Guilt and Uncertainty Over Monitoring a Child’s Soul
49:17 Navigating Parenting in a Modern, Secular-Influence…
51:05 Self-Examination: Am I Poisoning My Child’s…
53:58 Protecting the Body vs. Protecting the Soul
55:36 Seeking Practical Solutions Amidst Parenting…
57:40 Balancing Authority with Humility in the Household

Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David move from “Do they feel our love?” to something even more subtle, and often more powerful: do they live inside our loving thoughts?

Building on the classic Chassidic framework of the three “garments” of the soul, machshava (thought), dibbur (speech), and ma’aseh (action), we explore three ways love is revealed, and why most homes naturally excel at action (providing, doing), struggle with speech (saying it clearly), and almost completely overlook thought.

A striking line lands hard: a child’s inner voice is shaped less by what we say… and more by what we consistently think. We unpack the “telepathic” reality kids pick up on, why negative bias hijacks our minds, and why pure machshava can be the deepest gift that quietly changes everything downstream.

Along the way, we connect it to Ahavat Hashem, bringing Maimonides (Rambam): “m’derech ha’ohavim… she’hem choshevim b’ahavah” — it’s the way of lovers to think in love.

This week’s avodah: notice what “invades” your loving thoughts… and practice returning to the simple, holy sentence: “Of course I love my child.”
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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com
Join Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t

CHAPTERS
00:00 Opening and Sponsor Acknowledgments
01:39 Thought, Speech, Action Sequence
03:10 Three Ways to Express Love
05:35 Parental Investment in the Three Garments
06:37 Importance of Thinking Before Speaking
08:23 The Heart’s Role and “Opening Your Heart”
12:14 Why Parents Excel in Action
13:58 Why Speech Needs Improvement
17:55 Why Thought Is Almost Absent
22:52 Does Thinking Love Actually Matter?
25:46 Machshava as Tefillah and Presence
28:56 “A Child’s Inner Voice Is What I Think”
32:57 Why Machshava Feels Unmeasurable
36:44 Thinking Love From the Child’s Existence
41:27 Thoughts That Expand Space vs. Clog It
43:56 Why We Struggle With “Free” Love-Thoughts
46:22 How Pain/Judgment Invade Love-Thoughts
48:08 Machshava as the Core of the Soul
50:09 Parenting with Pure Thought: Guarding the Heart
51:25 Next Steps: Focus on This Week’s Study