We hear the term "Self-Care" everywhere—usually accompanied by images of three-hour spa days or solo vacations. But for parents in the "messy middle," those things don't just feel rare—they feel impossible. When we can't achieve the Instagram version of self-care, we end up feeling two things: Guilt and Pressure.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Brittany Wade, a Licensed Psychologist and founder of Thrive Child Psychology. Together, they are stripping away the "luxury" label and reframing self-care as what it actually is: Nervous System Regulation. If you’ve ever felt like getting the dishes done was "self-care," or if you struggle to ask your partner for the rest you actually need, this episode is for you. We’re moving beyond the "to-do" list to help you build a Secure Base for yourself so you can be one for your children.

1. The Self-Care Myth: Why we need to stop viewing self-care as an "extra" to be earned and start viewing it as a biological necessity for regulation.
2. Productivity vs. Regulation: The hard truth that checking off your to-do list (like cleaning the baseboards or doing the dishes) is productivity, not self-care.
3. The Self-Care Grief Process: Acknowledging and mourning the loss of the "old version" of yourself who had unlimited time for gym sessions and solo travel.
4. Equal vs. Equitable Rest: Why a 50/50 split of chores doesn't account for who is the most "depleted," and how to negotiate for "Equitable Rest" with your partner.
5. Modeling Regulation: Why the "Selfless Parent" narrative actually harms our children, and how modeling self-care provides them with a regulatory toolkit for life.
6. Micro-Regulation: Small, 5-minute shifts you can build into your current schedule—from the "coffee in silence" to the "three breaths in the driver's seat."

1. [03:29] – Redefining Self-Care: Why it’s not a luxury, it’s regulation.
2. [05:53] – The "Guilt and Pressure" cycle: Why self-care often feels like another chore.
3. [08:37] – Self-Care vs. Leisure: Understanding the difference between a hot shower and a round of golf.
4. [12:38] – The Modeling Aspect: Why your kids need to see you taking deep breaths.
5. [14:26] – Practical Strategies: Exercise, family walks, and protecting 30 minutes.
6. [15:50] – The Morning Reset: The clinical value of coffee in silence.
7. [18:43] – Parenting Reframe: Why self-care doesn't always have to be done "alone."
8. [21:55] – The Productivity Trap: Why the dishes are not self-care.

It is perhaps the conversation every parent dreads the most: explaining death to a child. Whether it’s the loss of a pet, a grandparent, or a sudden tragedy in the community, our instinct is to protect—to shield our children from the pain of grief. But as we often discuss on this show, protection isn't about the absence of pain; it's about the presence of a Secure Base.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by her long-time friend and colleague, Abigail Gellene-Beaudoin, LCSW. Abigail is a Certified Child Life Specialist with deep expertise in palliative care and supporting families through medical trauma, chronic illness, and end-of-life transitions. Together, they pull back the curtain on why we are so afraid to talk about death and how our own "Internal Weather" as parents shapes our children’s ability to process grief.

If you’ve been searching for the "right" words to say or if you’re navigating a loss right now, this episode provides a compassionate, science-backed roadmap for moving from overwhelmed to attuned during life’s hardest moments.

In this episode, we discuss:

1. Defining Palliative Care: Shifting the focus from "cure" to "comfort" and why this mindset shift is vital for family communication.
2. Anticipatory Grief: The "amorphous" phase that happens before a loss occurs. Why kids sense the tension and how they fill in the blanks with their own (often scarier) stories.
3. Defiance as Communication: Why a child’s opposition or acting out is often a distress signal of powerlessness and a desperate search for control.
4. The 10-Minute "Connection Dosage": How using a timer and Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) can fill a child’s security bucket when the family system is stressed by loss.
5. The "D-Word": Why we must avoid euphemisms like "went to sleep" or "passed away." Abigail provides a specific, concrete script for explaining death (e.g., explaining how the brain and body stop working).
6. The Sturdy Parent: How to model healthy grief by crying in front of your children while reassuring them: "I am sad, but I can handle this and I am still taking care of you."
7. Continuing Bonds: Rituals for keeping a loved one part of the family "fishbowl," from favorite breakfast spots to rainbow window film.
8. Re-Grieving Through Development: Why a child may seem "fine" at age three but experience acute grief again at age six as they begin to understand the permanence of death.

About Our Guest: Abigail Gellene-Baudoin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Child Life Specialist (CCLS), and child-centered play therapist dedicated to helping children and families navigate the complexities of healthcare and loss. She is the author of several children’s books designed to provide parents with the scripts they need for life's hardest conversations.

Resources & Connect with Us:

1. Abigail’s Book: When Hope Changes

But my child can play video games for eight hours straight—they can't possibly have ADHD." If you’ve ever said those words, this episode is for you. We often think of ADHD as a deficit of attention, but in reality, it’s a struggle with Executive Functioning—the brain’s internal management system.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Stephanie Fox, a clinical psychologist and expert in neurodevelopmental assessments. Dr. Fox brings a unique perspective to the table: she is both a specialist who evaluates ADHD and an "ADHDer" herself, diagnosed in adulthood.

Together, they cut through the noise to discuss why ADHD is often missed in girls, how "hyperfocus" is actually a clinical sign of the diagnosis, and why a comprehensive evaluation is a "gift" of self-compassion for your child. If you’re ready to move beyond the labels and understand your child’s brain from the Inside-Out, tune in.

In this episode, we discuss:

1. The Focus Myth: Why the ability to hyperfocus on video games, reading, or scrapbooking actually points toward an ADHD diagnosis, not away from it.
2. The Brain's "CEO": A deep dive into Executive Functioning—the management tools we use for task initiation, working memory, and time management.
3. The "Silent" Presentation in Girls: How socialization and perfectionism lead to girls suffering in silence or being misdiagnosed with "just anxiety."
4. Twice Exceptional (2e): The intersection of high IQ and ADHD, and why "good grades" don't mean a child isn't struggling.
5. The "Gift" of Assessment: Why an evaluation isn't about a label, but about providing a "user manual" for your child’s brain to foster self-compassion.
6. Finding the "Jam": How neurodivergent individuals find success by aligning their unique strengths with the right career and environment.

About Our Guest: Dr. Stephanie Fox is the founding psychologist at Four Corner Psychological Services. She specializes in comprehensive evaluations for ADHD, Autism, and learning disabilities. Her work is dedicated to helping individuals and families understand their neurobiology to move from shame to empowerment.

Resources & Connect with Us:

1. Four Corners Psychological Services: You can find Dr. Fox's practice here.
2. Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter: Get expert tips, practical tools, and encouragement straight to your inbox—designed for parents who want guidance, reassurance, and fresh ideas for raising resilient kids. Sign up here.
3. Book a Consultation: If you suspect ADHD or neurodiversity is playing a role in your family's dynamic, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.