In today’s episode, we dive deep into the hidden scripts that shape our parenting journey with behaviour expert Andy Baker.

In it you will discover how seemingly harmless phrases like "children shouldn't argue" or "eat your peas, there are starving children" can actually be detrimental to our kids' development and self-esteem. Andy sheds light on these generational "should" and "shouldn't" scripts that not only affect our children but also impose unrealistic expectations on us as parents.

Andy offers practical strategies to break free from unhelpful scripts and shift towards more nuanced and reflective parenting approaches. Whether you've caught yourself repeating phrases from your own childhood or struggle with parental guilt, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice that will transform the way you think about family communication and nurture healthier relationships with your children.

As if parents and teachers didn’t have enough to worry about before, now they have to get their heads round AI in education. In this podcast episode, I chatted with Claire Badger, an experienced teacher and head of teacher professional development at InnerDrive. Claire breaks down the complex world of AI in learning, outlining the key issues and highlighting some fascinating research that has been done to look at children, homework and AI. We talk about why banning AI in schools isn't practical, how AI can help (or hinder) with homework, and whether it's useful as a bespoke tutor.

Claire offers down-to-earth advice for parents and teachers on how to use AI wisely, encourage real learning, and keep the lines of communication open. While there's a risk that AI could limit children's learning if used improperly, it also has the potential to enhance skills development for kids from all backgrounds when applied wisely.

In this enlightening podcast episode, Clinical Psychologist and family therapist Manuela Sapochnik shares her insights on enhancing parenting through couples therapy, drawing from two decades of experience. She explores how attachment patterns shape relationships and how misaligned behaviors can create tension between partners.

Manuela explains that this tension often spills over into parenting, but can be addressed through increased awareness and intentional change in interaction patterns. As couples work together to improve their relationship, they naturally begin to interact differently with others, including their children.

This shift can lead to profound changes in family dynamics. By developing more adaptive ways of managing relationship challenges, parents can model and instill secure attachment patterns in their children.

Remarkably, Manuela notes that as couples engage in this work, they often see improvements in their children's behavior before even addressing specific parenting issues.

Please tune in for a deeper understanding of this transformative approach.

When your child tells you they think they have a mental health problem parents can feel frozen. How should they respond and what action should they take?

I was joined by Rachel Acheson, a psychotherapist with years of experience in adolescent mental health services and schools to discuss this issue. Rachel offers clear, balanced advice on this potentially daunting situation, breaking down what parents can do, what to say, when it might be time to seek professional help, and what kinds of support are available.

From the importance of staying calm and validating your child's feelings, to knowing the signs that professional support might be needed, Rachel covers it all. Whether you're currently facing this situation or want to be prepared for the future, please have a listen to my interview with Rachel.

In this episode of Just One Thing For Parents, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist Jon Goldin discusses the crucial role of boundaries in children's development. He emphasizes that consistent, predictable boundaries provide psychological safety and promote secure attachment. John likens teenage boundaries to flexible rubber tires, allowing some give while maintaining stability.

The conversation covers challenges parents face in setting boundaries, including generational changes and social media influences. John and Bettina stress the importance of parental unity in boundary-setting, even in separated families. They explore the balance between kindness and strictness, the significance of emotional boundaries, and practical advice on issues like social media use and sleep routines. Please have a listen.

This is a really important and often tricky topic for parents.

I was joined by Jenny Peters, family therapist, who addresses the parental panic that often arises when tried-and-true strategies suddenly falter. In those moments when parents feel stuck she advises us to turn to the "Three C's" approach: Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage. We talk about why these three core skills are so important for a parent to embrace and give examples and offer practical advice - from calming breathing techniques to navigating public tantrums. The key to our stuckness often lies in our own experience of being parented and having this insight can help compassionately unlock difficulties.

Whether you're grappling with a toddler's tantrums or a teenager's resistance, Jenny's wisdom provides a roadmap for reconnecting and resolving conflicts. This episode is a must-listen for any parent seeking to foster stronger, more understanding relationships with their children, regardless of age or stage.

Navigating the choppy waters of family separation is a journey that touches countless lives, with a staggering 1 in 3 children under 16 experiencing this significant shift in their family dynamics. As parents, we often grapple with the burning question: "How will this affect my little ones?" It's a valid concern because yes, separation is undoubtedly a seismic event in a child's world. However, parents have the power to shape this experience, as I found out in my discussion with Dr Marielle Quint, Clinical Psychologist. Marielle has a vast amount of experience in this area and her advice will help any parent finding themselves in this situation. She emphasises the importance of conflict management, maintaining a delicate neutrality when discussing ex-partners and the importance of ongoing conversation with kids for nuance and understanding. Ultimately, Marielle leaves us with a hopeful vision: children thriving in separate, loving, stable homes where conflict gives way to understanding. It's a challenging ideal, yes, but one that's deeply worth striving for. Below are useful organisations, websites and books for parents to access:

Organisations for parents

• CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) Publishes the “Parenting Plan” to help separating parents keep child-focused planning at the center.
  https://www.cafcass.gov.uk
• Gingerbread: A charity for single parents with emotional and legal guidance.
  https://www.gingerbread.org.uk
• Family Lives: Offers a helpline and guidance for parenting through separation.
  https://www.familylives.org.uk
• The Parent Practice: Delivers training for parents on communication skills and managing family transitions. https://www.theparentpractice.com
• Relate: Counselling services for families and children going through separation.
  https://www.relate.org.uk
• The Spark (Scotland) / Tavistock Relationships (England): Offers therapy and parenting support from a psychodynamic and systemic perspective.
  https://tavistockrelationships.org

Book recommendations:

• Understanding Children's Needs when Parents Separate by Emilia Dowling and Di Elliott
• Mum and Dad Glue Paperback – by Kes Gray (Author), Lee Wildish (Illustrator)
• Living with Mum and Living with Dad: My Two Homes Paperback – by Melanie Walsh (Author)
• It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) Paperback – by Vicki Lansky (Author), Jane Prince (Author, Illustrator)
• I Don't Want to Talk About It: A Story of Divorce for Young Children by Jeanie Franz Ransom (Author), Kathryn Kunz Finney (Illustrator)
• The Divorce Journal for Kids by Sue Atkins (Author) and Amy Bradley (Illustrator)
• The Split Survival Kit - 10 Steps for Coping with your Parents' separation by Ruth Fitzgerald (Author)
• When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief (Drawing Out Feelings)
• Helping Children to Cope with Change, Stress and Anxiety: A Photocopiable Activities Book