In this episode, I talk with psychotherapist and author Lauren LaRusso about her new book, Beyond Infidelity. Lauren's perspective is both professional and personal: her marriage ended after her husband's affair. Mine ended after I was the one who broke trust. We come at this experience from opposite sides, and that contrast shapes much of our conversation.

Lauren makes a claim that may shift how you see your situation: the moment infidelity is revealed, the original version of your relationship is already gone. Whether a couple rebuilds or parts ways, they're no longer deciding about the marriage they had. They're deciding whether something new is possible. And the relationship isn't the only thing that changes. Who you thought you were inside that relationship changes, too.

We talk about:

What people are really asking when they ask "Should I stay or go?"

Why that decision rarely becomes clear in the middle of a crisis—and what to focus on instead

Letting go of the need to control the outcome, whether you're fighting to save the marriage or certain you'll leave

How betrayal shatters identity, and why so much of our self-worth is tied to how others see us

Lauren's story of a local magazine featuring her family on its cover just weeks after she discovered the affair

Looking honestly at your role in the relationship—not in the infidelity—and why that matters for trusting yourself again

Refusing to let the way a marriage ended erase everything that was real in it

What Lauren looks for as evidence that someone who broke trust is actually doing the work

Whether you were betrayed or you broke trust, and whether you're staying or going, this conversation is about the work that belongs to you—work nobody can take from you, no matter how your relationship turns out.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episode Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/073

Lauren’s Book: Beyond Infidelity: How to Turn the End of Your Relationship into the Beginning of Your Life

Review of Lauren’s book

Lauren’s Website: laurenlarusso.com | Instagram: @laurenlarusso

Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.