What happens when an avoidant man is confronted with the emotional truths his partner has been holding back?

In this episode, Adam invites a couple to face nine brutally honest relationship challenges. The conversation dives into emotional shutdowns, loyalty issues, and the impact of childhood wounds — revealing what avoidance looks like when love and vulnerability collide.

✨Topics Covered: 👉 The avoidant partner’s emotional response to jealousy and control 👉 Why loyalty is the most important value for avoidant men 👉 How childhood trauma shapes attachment and defensiveness 👉 The fiancée’s honest feedback and hopes for their relationship 👉 Adam’s therapeutic approach to reframing criticism as care 👉 The meaning of emotional safety and repair in avoidant dynamics 👉 Insights into building trust after past betrayal

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Why do avoidant men struggle so much with love, vulnerability, and connection?

In this video, we break down how avoidant attachment forms, why it creates barriers in relationships, and what can actually be done to move forward.

Topics Covered: 👉 What is attachment? 👉The difference between secure and insecure attachment 👉 How avoidant attachment shows up in men’s behavior and language 👉 The hidden stress avoidant men experience (despite appearing calm) 👉 Disorganized attachment and its two subtypes: loud vs quiet 👉 Variations within avoidant men: ethical vs manipulative avoidant 👉 Practical steps to shift avoidant patterns and grow toward secure attachment 👉 Why rewiring attachment behaviors takes time and repetition 👉 A real-life case study of transforming attachment patterns

Want to go deeper? Join me for this free training and learn practical strategies to overcome avoidant attachment and build stronger relationships https://get.adamlanesmith.com/freeregistration

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Why does avoidant attachment make it so hard to feel close, even in loving relationships? For many men, emotional distance isn’t a lack of love—it’s a stress-driven response that blocks connection. This video unpacks the psychology and biology behind avoidant patterns and offers tools to create healthier intimacy.

Topics Covered 👉 Emotional shutdown and chronic unavailability in avoidant men 👉 The “cone of death” metaphor for limited tolerance of closeness under stress 👉 How stress blocks oxytocin receptors and hinders bonding 👉 Practical tools like breathing and nervous system regulation 👉 The difficulty avoidant men have with receiving praise or validation 👉 The importance of intentional connection and balanced effort in relationships 👉 Recognizing overservice and its role in creating emotional distance 👉 Shifting from constant stress mode into rest and relaxation for better connection

Want to go deeper? Join me for this free training and learn practical strategies to overcome avoidant attachment and build stronger relationships https://get.adamlanesmith.com/freeregistration

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

Why does avoidant attachment make it so hard to feel close, even in loving relationships? For many men, emotional distance isn’t a lack of love—it’s a stress-driven response that blocks connection. This video unpacks the psychology and biology behind avoidant patterns and offers tools to create healthier intimacy.

Topics Covered 👉 Emotional shutdown and chronic unavailability in avoidant men 👉 The “cone of death” metaphor for limited tolerance of closeness under stress 👉 How stress blocks oxytocin receptors and hinders bonding 👉 Practical tools like breathing and nervous system regulation 👉 The difficulty avoidant men have with receiving praise or validation 👉 The importance of intentional connection and balanced effort in relationships 👉 Recognizing overservice and its role in creating emotional distance 👉 Shifting from constant stress mode into rest and relaxation for better connection

Want to go deeper? Join me for this free training and learn practical strategies to overcome avoidant attachment and build stronger relationships https://get.adamlanesmith.com/freeregistration

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

What does it take to shift from avoidant attachment to secure, engaged connection in just eight weeks?

In this episode, Adam talks with a client who shares her powerful story of breaking free from lifelong avoidance and building safety in love.

Topics Covered: 👉 How early childhood trauma and lack of safety shaped avoidant attachment 👉 The role of unhealthy relationships in reinforcing avoidance patterns 👉 The process of building safety through healthy masculine presence 👉 Practical tools for regulating the nervous system and creating trust 👉 Learning to co-regulate and receive love without fear 👉 Moving from hyper-independence to interdependence in relationships 👉 Redefining femininity and partnership in a secure, balanced way

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

What happens when a wife feels invisible for 23 years?

In this episode, Adam uncovers the truth behind their broken marriage. From gambling addiction and emotional neglect to the deep longing for intimacy and trust, this raw coaching session reveals what it really takes to heal wounds that have been buried for decades.

Topics Covered: 👉 How gambling addiction led to separation and divorce 👉 Emotional neglect and the feeling of being “not enough” 👉 Why emotional intimacy is essential—especially for women 👉 The avoidant brain and fear of emotional sharing 👉 Modeling accountability and apologizing to children 👉 The difference between promises and true transformation 👉 Building trust through transparency and accountability 👉 Gratitude, humility, and support systems in healing 👉 Requirements for reconnection: safety, intimacy, trust, no secrets 👉 A five-month roadmap toward rebuilding connection and peace

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

#marriagerecovery #relationshipadvice #attachmentstyles

In this episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf joins to discuss how the mind, not the brain, holds the power to reshape thoughts, relationships, and mental health. She shares groundbreaking insights on neuroplasticity, attachment styles, and her proven 63-day cycle for rewiring toxic patterns into healthier ones.

✨ Topics Covered ✨ 👉 Why the brain doesn’t think and how the mind drives change 👉 The truth about neuroplasticity and breaking free from outdated mental health myths 👉 How trauma and attachment wounds are first processed in the mind, then stored in the brain 👉 Understanding the nonscious, subconscious, and conscious mind 👉 The process of deconstruction and reconstruction for healing relationships 👉 Why the 21-day myth is false and why real transformation takes 63 days 👉 Daily practices to stop people pleasing, reset patterns, and reframe responses

Check out Dr. Caroline Leaf’s new book: Help In A Hurry: Simple Tips for Finding Peace When You're Overwhelmed, Anxious, or Stressed 👉 https://store.drleaf.com/collections/all/products/help-in-a-hurry-simple-tips-for-finding-peace-when-youre-overwhelmed-anxious-or-stressed

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

What does it really feel like to live with disorganized attachment? In this episode, Adam welcomes Amy Moore, who shares her story of navigating survival mode, struggling with both avoidance and anxiety, and learning how to begin her healing journey.

Topics Covered: 👉 Amy’s experience with disorganized attachment and “survival mode” 👉 How attachment styles shift between avoidance (single) and anxiety (in relationships) 👉 The role of parenting and how her daughter perceives her healing journey 👉 Why emotional safety and oxytocin bonding are critical in relationships 👉 How trauma from infancy and childhood affects adult attachment patterns 👉 The freeze response and how it’s often misinterpreted as indifference 👉 Practical steps for repair: asking questions, sharing context, and creating safe communication 👉 The importance of forgiveness, self-awareness, and building trust with 2–3 close connections

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now. https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1