Layoffs don’t just take our jobs. They can scramble our judgment. Here’s how to get both back.

An entrepreneur on my podcast told me this story:

“When I went bankrupt, I begged a friend, who had built a unicorn, for a meeting. He gave me 30 minutes. But the moment we sat down, I could tell he wanted to leave.

Six months later, after I’d worked on myself, I went back with clarity and energy. This time, he introduced me to people and offered support.

What I learned was simple: if you go to people with negative, desperate energy, you pull them down. But if you show up with direction and passion, they go out of their way to help.”

That’s the Busy Bee trap.

When layoffs hit, many of us cope by throwing ourselves into endless activity - networking calls, resume blasts, constant LinkedIn posts.

It feels like progress.
But it’s often just frantic energy that pushes people away.

Because action is not the same as movement.

• Action is visible busyness. Running hard, but often in circles.
• Movement starts inside. Small, invisible shifts - restoring our headspace, processing what happened, finding clarity.

That inner shift moves us forward far more than 100 frantic actions.
Because once our headspace shifts, our actions carry real power.

The real challenge during a layoff: managing our headspace while clarifying what we want.

When we do this systematically, we give ourselves the best chance to succeed.

We dive deeper into this in today's episode.

Shownotes
https://howtolive.life/episode/101-bouncing-back-after-layoff-with-Sharad-Lal

For Folks Affected by Restructuring
4 Week Career Transition Program.
https://www.sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition

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Episode 100: What started as a passion project has turned into a full career pivot!

Four years ago, I hit record on the first episode of my podcast.
I had no big plans. Just one question I couldn’t stop thinking about:
How do we live a good life?

So I started How to Live.
Shared what I’d learned.
Stayed curious.
Kept listening.

Then something magical happened.
I got a message from my old BCG boss, Dean Tong.
We hadn’t spoken in 15 years.

He’d stumbled upon the podcast. We met.
Talked about Stoicism, Buddhism, and Purpose.
Then he invited me to speak at UOB Bank, where he was the Chief HR Officer.

I was nervous. It was a corporate setting.
I had a meditation exercise planned. Would it land?

Dean said:
“Don’t worry. I’ll take the risk. Just do your best.”

That support changed everything.

The talk worked.
It led to more sessions. More companies.
And one day I realised - this wasn’t a side project anymore.
It was a new path.

Keynotes. Workshops. Leadership Programs.
Helping leaders reconnect with purpose, reach their next peak, and navigate uncertainty with resilience.

It felt meaningful.
And it could pay the bills.

So I took the leap.
Sold my digital agency. Went all in.

Today, I’ve led over 75 workshops across four continents with companies like Google, Unilever, HSBC, and Mastercard.
And I’ve seen how powerful ancient wisdom can be in modern leadership.

The podcast has grown beyond my wildest dreams too. Ranked in the top 3% globally and listened to in 150 countries.

The lesson?

When you do what you love with honesty and passion, it’s infectious.
People are watching. People are listening, even if they never like or comment.
(Dean didn’t either.)
But sometimes, just one of them can change the trajectory of your entire life.

🎧 In today’s milestone episode, I share the five biggest lessons from this incredible journey.

Here’s to the next 100.

Shownotes
https://howtolive.life/episode/100-five-lessons-from-100-episodes-with-Sharad-Lal

For Folks Affected by Restructuring
4 Week Career Transition Program.
https://www.sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition

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Go deeper with articles every 2-3 weeks. No spam.
https://sharadlal.substack.com/

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"How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?"

Many of us find ourselves trapped in patterns we claim to hate - overworking while craving balance, tolerating bad bosses, accepting toxic work cultures.

This question cuts right to the heart of it. It's not about blame. It's about awareness. The word complicit cuts deeper than responsible, because it asks us to look inward, without self-attack.

This question comes from Jerry Colonna - former JP Morgan partner, co-founder of a top-tier VC firm with Fred Wilson, now known as the CEO Whisperer. He coaches Founders and CEOs at Etsy, SoundCloud, and Fortune 500 companies.

I've wanted this conversation for years, ever since hearing him on the Tim Ferriss podcast. When he agreed to come on How to Live, I honestly couldn’t believe it.

In our conversation, Jerry opens up about his journey from massive Wall Street success to a near-suicidal moment on a subway platform, and how radical self-inquiry saved his life.

We dive deep into self-growth, leadership, practical journaling techniques, managing the voices in your head, and why the most successful people often create their own suffering without realizing it.

If you're exploring the next frontier of growth, it might not be outside.

It might be within.

This conversation will help you start the work.

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/099-wisdom-from-the-CEO-whisperer-with-jerry-colonna

For Folks Affected by Restructuring
4 Week Career Transition Program.
https://www.sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition

How to Live Newsletter
Go deeper with articles every 2-3 weeks. No spam.
https://sharadlal.substack.com/

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"Chase passion, not pension" - but how do you actually figure out what you love?

Robin Speculand nailed this. At 34, he was making VP money at Citibank — but still didn't know what his "passion" was.

So he did something most of us never do: He stepped off the treadmill and took time to reflect.

On a beach, he asked himself:

• What have I truly enjoyed?
• What gave me energy?
• What problems do I see that others miss?

That's when it clicked. Every company had a strategy. But 9 out of 10 failed at implementation. Nobody was solving this. It was a blue ocean.

His passion wasn't "helping people" or "being a founder." It was this specific, unsexy problem everyone ignored.

📌 If you're in your 40s and feeling stuck, maybe passion isn't something you find. Maybe it's something you recognize:

1. Step off the treadmill (take real reflection time)
2. Look at what energizes you (not what looks good on LinkedIn)
3. Spot the blue ocean problem only you can see

Your passion might not be trending. It might be the overlooked thing that quietly lights you up.

And that's exactly why it could change your life.

🎧 Full episode with Robin — How to Live, Episode 98

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/098-designing-life-in-your-forties-with-robin-speculand

For Folks Affected by Restructuring
4 Week Career Transition Program.
https://www.sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition

How to Live Newsletter
Go deeper with articles every 2-3 weeks. No spam.
https://sharadlal.substack.com/

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𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦.

We're taught to "man up" and handle everything alone.

When we struggle, we don't reach out. When friends share problems, we jump straight to solutions.

We think asking for help is weakness. We think giving advice is helping.

But here's what we miss: We never build emotional safety nets.

Women often do this instinctively. They listen first. They create space. They support before they solve.

The result? Deeper friendships. Stronger teams. And, as research shows, better leadership outcomes.

The best male leaders I know have learned this. They know that sometimes, people don't need your solution. They just need to feel understood.

Men: Try this. Next time someone shares a challenge, don't jump to advice. Ask: "How did that feel?" or "Tell me more."

It's time to redefine masculinity.

🎙️ I explore this with Andrew Reiner in the latest How to Live episode. Andrew wrote the bestselling Better Boys, Better Men and writes on masculinity for The New York Times. We discuss male friendships, emotional support, and why redefining strength might unlock better leadership and deeper relationships.

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/097-redefining-masculinity-with-andrew-reiner

For Folks Affected by Restructuring
4 Week Career Transition Program.
https://www.sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition

How to Live Newsletter
Go deeper with articles every 2-3 weeks. No spam.
https://sharadlal.substack.com/

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Be interested, not interesting.

𝐈𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.

Most high performers approach networking like a performance.

Say something clever. Be impressive. Stand out.

But being interesting takes energy. It puts pressure on you.

And it often keeps things at the surface.

There's a better way: Be interested instead.

Ask thoughtful questions. Listen deeply.

Let others do what they love most - talk about themselves.

It's lighter. It's more human.

And it builds real trust. The kind that leads to long-term relationships, not short-term transactions.

🎙️ This shift from performing to connecting is exactly what Ryan Lim, and I dive into in the latest How to Live episode. Ryan's the bestselling author of The Business of Networking, No 1 on Strait Times, and he shares why introverts often make the best networkers, and why curiosity is your greatest tool.

Buy Ryan's Book here - https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9789819423323

Get the first chapter free - https://bit.ly/BizNetworkChp1

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/096-networking-that-actually-feels-good-with-ryan-lim

For Folks Affected by Restructuring
4 Week Career Transition Program.
https://www.sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition

How to Live Newsletter
Go deeper with articles every 2-3 weeks. No spam.
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Most people stay stuck because they’re waiting for clarity.
Big mistake.

When you’re 15–20 years into your career, the destination will never be what you imagined anyway.

What’s really keeping you stuck isn’t a lack of direction. It’s fear.
Fear disguised as “being strategic.”
Fear disguised as “waiting for the right moment.”
Fear disguised as “needing more information.”

But here’s the thing:
You don’t overcome fear by thinking your way through it.
You overcome it by moving through it.

The path doesn’t appear before you move.
It reveals itself because you moved.

Start small: One conversation. One experiment. One step forward.

Your next chapter is waiting on the other side of action, not analysis.

🎙️ In the latest How to Live podcast, I’m sharing part of my conversation with the amazing Michelle on her Upward Spiral podcast.

We talk about practical ways to find purpose, how to move when stuck, and why your 40s might be the best time to reinvent yourself.

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/095-how-to-move-when-youre-stuck-a-conversation-with-sharad-lal

Check Michelle's Podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/4CNdVdUDHoWQ50oZmWKQ6R

For Folks Affected by Restructuring
4 Week Career Transition Program.
https://www.sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition

How to Live Newsletter
Go deeper with articles every 2-3 weeks. No spam.
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About Sharad Lal
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You’re running faster.
You’re winning.
But are you running in the right direction?

The success script teaches us to outrun others.
Outrun, Outwit, Outlast.

But it rarely asks:
Is this the race you want to win?

Bhavna Toor followed that script.
She rose fast in New York finance.
But eventually, she realized she was running the wrong race - without ever choosing it.

Mindfulness helped her pause.
Reflect.
And choose her own path.

Mindfulness did not stall her ambition.
It pointed it in the right direction.

Today, her ambition burns stronger than ever.
Because it’s aligned. Conscious. Sustainable.

Mindful ambition isn’t about slowing down.
It’s about choosing your direction - with clarity.

If you’re questioning your own race, this conversation on How to Live might resonate.

Are you running your own race — or just running faster?

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/094-mindful-ambition-with-bhavna-toor

Buy Bhavna's Book

https://shenomics.com/choice/

For Folks Affected by Restructuring
4 Week Career Transition Program.
https://www.sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition

How to Live Newsletter
Go deeper with articles every 2-3 weeks. No spam.
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