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“How can I stay calm when my child is having a breakdown?” “What does it mean for me to be an emotional anchor for my kid?” — Most parents struggle with their children's emotional regulation; you are not alone. Last episode, we heard from Todd Sarner, who explained to us that parenting is not about perfection, but presence. Today, we hear the rest of Sophia Mills and Amina Elsamahy’s conversation with Todd, psychotherapist, parenting coach, and founder of Transformative Parenting. He dives deeper into what it means to be an emotional anchor, and gives practical tips and advice for helping children through emotional breakdowns, dysregulation, and trauma. Todd’s insight will help you see patterns and the importance of structure in emotional recovery, understand how to build emotional safety, and support emotional growth over time. If you missed part one of our conversation, tune into that first! Otherwise, press play to continue your journey to becoming an emotional anchor.

This was the last Healing Hearts episode of 2025. If you enjoyed the show this year, we’d greatly appreciate a review! Want to help us grow and improve going into 2025? Please fill out our feedback form!

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“Why don’t discipline or behavior systems work for my child?” “Why does my child shut down so easily?” “What is trauma-informed parenting, and how can I apply it?” — Parenting is tough, and sometimes it feels like we’re doing it all wrong. Behavior can be difficult to understand, especially in kids with trauma. Today, Sophia Mills and Amina Elsamahy sit down with psychotherapist, parenting coach, and founder of Transformative Parenting: Todd Sarner. Todd shares why traditional discipline systems tend to fail, the impact stress has on children, and the importance of connection to form a firm foundation for emotional growth. He explains that as parents, we don’t need to be perfect; we need to be present. “Your job,” he assures us, “is to be a good guide.”

Tune in today to hear practical tips, learn about trauma-informed parenting, and understand more about your child’s behavior. In Part 2, we’ll dive deeper into what it means to be a child’s anchor and learn applicable strategies to build a transformative relationship with our children.

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“My foster child’s biological parents are incarcerated; how can I guide them through this difficult time?” “My child’s guard is up after trauma, how can I help take the walls down?” “How can I help a child transition out of Department of Juvenile Justice custody?” — When a child is in DJJ custody, they’re locked up, isolated, and scared. They aren’t just going through legal trouble, they’re carrying trauma and shame. It takes resilience, hope, support, and love to break free of the trauma they’ve faced. That’s why today Sophia Mills sits down with William Freeman, Founder and CEO of People of Purpose, an organization seeking to guide families as their loved ones come home from incarceration. He shares his experience going through the same thing and how he healed; as well as tips and strategies to help your child through the transition back into normality. Whether you or your child are going through this, know someone who is, or are recovering from any kind of trauma, William’s powerful testimony and advice can help you on your journey. As William told us, “Sometimes it’s not the trauma you expect. It’s abandonment, it’s silence, it’s love not shown the way a child needs to feel it.”

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“How do I stop feeling like I’m failing when my child has a hard day?” “How can I balance seeking professional help with trusting my own instincts as a parent?” — We’ve already heard from Dr. Amanda Trovato, who told us about communication through behavior, the power of routine, and how everyone involved in a child’s life is a caregiver. Today, in the second part of Benoit Harpey’s interview with Dr. Amanda Trovato, clinical psychologist at the ELS for Autism Foundation, we dive deeper into these topics. Dr. Trovato shares her knowledge on how routines and compassion help build confidence in children, how modeling self-care develops healthy habits, and how parents are the experts on their own children. Plus, she offers practical tips and advice on collaboration with teachers and doctors and for applying other themes discussed! This episode is extremely valuable, so tune in to receive these great tips and expertise.

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“How can I help my child with emotional regulation?” “Is my child’s behavior a sign of something more?” “Who can help me as I parent a child with developmental differences?” — As parents, our children’s behavior can be frustrating and disheartening. But what if that behavior is unspoken communication? Benoit Harpey discusses this and more with Dr. Amanda Trovato, clinical psychologist at the ELS for Autism Foundation today. Dr. Trovato shares her story and insights on helping children with autism and other developmental differences. She tells us that everyone involved in a child’s life is a caregiver; whether teacher, psychologist, or parent, and that it takes collaboration between all of them to cultivate significant growth. She also explains the power of routine, the secrets to better emotional regulation, and why structure and empathy are better than strict discipline. This is only half of our conversation with Dr. Trovato! In part two, we’ll discuss more applicable parenting tips and strategies.

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“I’m struggling as I parent my foster kids, I feel at a loss and overwhelmed.” “I feel all alone, how can I build a support system?” “Am I being the parent my kid needs me to be?” — We heard from Josie Mae Wells in part one of this series two weeks ago, when we discussed her story, vocational development, and community support system. If you missed that one, be sure to check it out! Today, we hear part two of Benoit Harpey’s interview with Josie Mae Wells, Public Relations Coordinator at Friends of Foster Children. In this episode, Josie shares how important it is to adapt to your kid’s needs; the deeper lessons of hope, resilience, and patience she learned through helping raise her sisters; and how vital it is to build a good support system with community, friends, and mentorship. Additionally, she says something we all need to hear: sometimes growth isn’t linear; you need to take one step back to take two steps forward. There will be struggles, but there are ways to work through them. Tune in today to get practical tips, tools, and strategies from an expert in foster care who hopes to help you in your parenting journey!

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“How can I support my child who has developmental delays?” “What role does community play in foster care success?” “How can I find support for my family as we foster children?” — There are hundreds of challenges that parents, especially those raising foster children or vulnerable children face. Thankfully, there’s a solution to every challenge and today, Benoit Harpey sits down with Josie Mae Wells, Public Relations Coordinator at Friends of Foster Children. When Josie Mae was in her teens, her parents felt called to step into the role of foster parenting and on a fateful night in 2017 got a call that there were twin sisters who needed a home. The family faced many challenges as they were raising these two little girls, but they powered through all of them and the twins are now thriving! Josie Mae shares her family’s story as kinship caregivers, how her scenario revealed her vocation, tips that helped them, and how community and support played a vital role in their success in raising vulnerable youth.

This is only part one of Josie Mae’s story and advice; in part two, we’ll reflect on lessons Josie Mae learned while helping raise her sisters, speak more about the importance of a support system, and talk about the role Friends of Foster Children plays in the lives of foster parents.

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“I feel overwhelmed and unsupported as a parent.” “Is prioritizing me time selfish?” “How can I break the cycles of trauma and pain in my family?” — As parents, we can often feel torn between caring for our children and caring for ourselves. Both are crucial, and if you don’t balance both, you’ll feel overwhelmed, helpless, and crushed by an unbearable weight. Thankfully, that balance isn’t hard to find, it just takes a little effort. Today, Sophia Mills and Benoit Harpey sit down with Debi Borger, a strength and mindset coach, single mom, and foster parent. Debi shares with us her story of overcoming trauma and building resilience while parenting foster children. She emphasizes the value of self-care, mindset, and community support; reminding us that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. You won’t want to miss this one, so tune in for valuable tips, advice, and learn the key to filling up your cup so you can pour into others’.

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👉 The E3 Method

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