What if tending to your own needs is one of the holiest things you can do?

In this deeply grounding episode of Hard & Holy, Cass sits down with Aundi Kolber: bestselling author, licensed professional counselor, and trauma-informed therapist—to talk about her newest release, Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.

Together they unpack how trauma can disconnect us from our God-given needs, why an embodied faith doesn’t bypass our emotions, and how compassionate boundaries create room for real connection.

Listen in to explore:

• How unaddressed trauma scrambles our internal “need detectors” and what healing can look like.
• Practical ways to practice self-compassion that overflow into loving others well.
• The surprising link between boundaries and belonging.
• Why healing is both present-tense care and gentle attention to the past.
• Aundi’s go-to “soft words” for the days that feel anything but soft.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for having needs—or unsure how to name them—this conversation will feel like a warm, steady hand on your shoulder. Grab a cozy drink, press play, and let’s take what we need… together.

Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aundikolber?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

Visit her website: https://aundikolber.com/

Order Take What You Need : https://aundikolber.com/take-what-you-need/

In this heartfelt and honest conversation, I’m joined by Brenna Blain—wife, mom, Contemporary Theologian, and author of the bestselling book Can I Say That? How Unsafe Questions Lead Us to the Real God.

Together, we dive into the taboo topics the church often avoids: Doubt, Mental Health, Sexuality, and the Real God Who Meets Us There.

Brenna shares her personal journey from black-and-white theology student to a voice for trauma-informed, biblically grounded compassion. She opens up about her experiences with mental illness, same-sex attraction, and the messy, beautiful tension of faith and lived experience.

We talk about how the church can unintentionally wound those already hurting—and how scripture, when approached with care and honesty, can move from wounding to healing.

If you’ve ever asked yourself: “Can I say that?” — this conversation will remind you: you’re not alone, and God can handle your questions.

We cover:

• Why asking hard questions isn’t a threat to faith
• How to engage scripture with honesty and compassion
• Why trauma-informed theology matters
• How faith intersects with mental health and sexuality
• Experiencing God in the midst of personal struggle

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions of mental health, suicidal ideation, drug overdose, and trauma. Please listen with care.

Connect with Brenna:

Buy Can I Say That? → https://www.canisaythatbook.com
Partner with her speaking ministry → www.brennablain.com
Follow Brenna on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/bunonmyhead

In this powerful episode of Hard & Holy, Cassandra sits down with friend, prayer warrior, and fellow Denver Seminary student Cheryl Luke to talk about the holy tension of knowing when it’s time to go. Whether it's stepping away from a church, job, ministry, or relationship, discerning when to leave is never easy but it can be holy.

With over 45 years in ministry, Cheryl shares her personal journey of leaving a beloved church community after 30 years of faithful service. She unpacks the emotional complexity of that decision, the grief and clarity it brought, and how to leave well—with integrity, love, and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Cheryl Luke is a speaker, coach, podcast host, and seminary student pursuing her Master of Arts in Biblical and Theological Studies. She’s the visionary behind The Mosaic Life, a nonprofit equipping leaders to live with intention and purpose. With decades of leadership experience, including her role as National Director for Cultural Communities with Celebrate Recovery, Cheryl is known for her ability to foster community, create space for healing, and empower people—especially people of color—through recovery and restoration.

Together, Cassandra and Cheryl discuss:

• How to discern when God is calling you to leave a space that once felt like home
• The difference between leaving with bitterness and leaving with blessing
• Why obedience to the Holy Spirit sometimes looks like disappointing people
• How to care for relationships and community even in your leaving
• What Cheryl wishes more leaders understood about longevity and surrender
• A prayer for those standing at the edge of transition, longing for courage and clarity

This episode is a companion for anyone wrestling with what’s next and wondering if it’s okay to let go.

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Resources & Links:
Learn more about Cheryl Luke and The Mosaic Life: themosaiclife.org
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Follow Cassandra on Instagram: @cassandralspeer
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