Joy isn’t only for big vacations and milestone days. Andrew and Cat share how to spot, savor, and create tiny moments of joy inside regular Tuesdays—using reframes, mini rituals, and presence.

• Reframe “have to” → “get to.” (“I get to make my teenager breakfast.” “I get to have coffee.”)
• Joy is a muscle. Start from where you are and build reps with small, repeatable practices.
• Presence is the new luxury. Attention given to a person or moment = the rarest gift.
• Gratitude by subtraction. Imagine losing a simple ability (driving, using an arm) to feel instant thanks.
• Choose richer dopamine. Swap “cheap hits” (doomscrolling, impulse buys) for slow joys (plants, cooking, conversation).
• Design tiny rituals. Little, reliable delights (the “third cup” flavored coffee, sun crystals, herbs growing) anchor your day.

1. Awareness: Notice you want more joy—great. That’s step one.
2. Rename the moments: Commute → “podcast walk;” dishes → “gratitude reset;” bedtime → “cozy ritual.”
3. One-sense check-in: Pause to smell coffee, feel a soft blanket, or notice morning light.
4. Threshold ritual: Each time you pass a doorway, smile or take one slow breath and whisper “joy.”
5. Daily delight photo: Snap one picture of something that delighted you today.
6. 1–1–1 gratitude: Say aloud one person, one object, and one moment you’re grateful for.
7. Zero-dollar joy hunt: Celebrate what you already own (favorite mug, a comfy couch, that perfect blow dryer).
8. Grow something: Herbs in a counter garden or a hardy plant (self-watering pots help!).
9. Protect presence: Put the phone away with people you love; use social media as a tool, not a reflex.
10. Teach it forward: Model joy-finding for kids (and delay the dopamine machine as long as you can).

• Savor a “special” cup (save a flavored coffee for your last cup).
• Hang sun crystals to splash rainbows across the room.
• Try a micro-reset: inhale + exhale whenever you enter a new room.
• Keep plants you’ll actually keep alive (hello, self-watering pots).
• Practice gratitude by subtraction: what ordinary thing would you miss if it were gone?

• The DOSE Effect — TJ Power (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins and how to get them the healthy way)

• Andrew: “The glimmer is… the glimmers.” Making tiny joys a habit changed how I feel daily.
• Cat: Self-watering planters—travel-friendly and my plants are thriving. 🌿

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• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• Site & freebies: fiveyearyou.com

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Overthinking feels productive—but it’s really a mental treadmill. Andrew and Cat share simple, science-backed ways to break rumination loops, calm anxiety, and take clear next steps.

• Overthinking ≠ problem-solving. It’s a certainty-seeking loop fueled by anxiety.
• Awareness is step one. “I’m trying to change what can’t be changed” stops past-focused spirals.
• Name it to tame it. Label the pattern (“I’m catastrophizing” / “Amy* is yapping again”) to reduce its grip.
• *Amy = your “amygdala alarm”—a playful mental cue.
• Interrupt the loop. Pattern-breakers (breath, movement, grounding) shift brain states.
• Get it out of your head. Journal, voice-notes, therapist, trusted friend—externalize the swirl.
• You already know more than you think. Get still; your body’s “yes/no” shows up fast.
• Action ends rumination. Any small next step beats spinning in maybe-land.

1. Spot it: “I’m looping.” (Awareness)
2. Label it: “This is catastrophizing / future-tripping / should-storming.” (Name to tame)
3. Pattern break (pick one):

• Box breathing 4–4–4–4 (1–2 min)
• 5–4–3–2–1 grounding (see/hear/feel)
• 10–15 minute walk (movement beats rumination)
• Hand on heart, slow breaths (drop from head → body)

1. Externalize: 60-second brain dump (paper or voice note). If it’s still noisy, share with a therapist or trusted person.
2. Choose one: Flip a coin or ask: “What would Future Me thank me for?” Notice your gut reaction → decide.
3. Micro-action: One concrete step within 5–10 minutes (email, calendar block, checklist start).
4. If it returns: Repeat. You’re building a new habit, not chasing perfection.

• Sleep cue: Silently repeat, “I’m not thinking” for ~60–90 seconds; return to breath when you drift.
• Yappy-dog reframe: “Thanks, Amy. Into the crate you go—I’ll revisit this at 4pm.” (Schedule the worry window.)
• Self-compassion: “I’m worrying because I care. I can choose peace by taking one small action.”

• “Worry window” (10–15 min/day) to contain rumination
• Movement first: short walk, light chores, or stretching whenever loops start
• Coin-toss clarity to surface true preference
• Heart-breath check-in before decisions

• No wrong choices. Every decision is a result or a lesson. Both move you forward.
• Indecision is a decision. You’re choosing anxiety over momentum—pick a tiny step instead.

• Cat: A three-day weekend to reset and prep for Andrew’s visit.
• Andrew: Packing to fly out—looking forward to time together.

• Nonviolent Communication — Marshall B. Rosenberg (for clear needs/requests)
• Grounding & breath practices (box breathing, 5-4-3-2-1)

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Arguments don’t need winners; they need resolution. Andrew and Cat share calm, practical ways to defuse conflict at home, with friends, and at work—so everyone feels seen, heard, and respected.

• Stay calm first. Regulated nervous systems make regulated conversations.
• Listen to understand, not to win. Most “arguments” are unmet needs in disguise.
• Name the real issue. Clarify what the conflict is actually about before debating solutions.
• Feelings + needs > accusations. Use “When you ___, I feel ___; I need ___; could you ___?”
• Define the desired outcome. Agree on “what good looks like” before you continue.
• Two truths can coexist. Your perspectives can both be valid.
• Take breaks at impasses. Timeouts prevent escalation; return when cooler.
• Bring a neutral third party when needed. Therapist, mediator, or trusted friend.

1. Pause & breathe. Lower the temperature (box breathing: 4–4–4–4).
2. State intent: “My goal is for us to understand each other and find a solution we both can live with.”
3. Clarify the issue: “What do you think this is really about?”
4. Reflective listening: “What I’m hearing is… Did I get that right?”
5. Share with NVC: “When X happened, I felt Y. What I need is Z. Would you be willing to ___?”
6. Outcome check: “By the end of this, I’d love for us to ___.”
7. Perspective-swap: Briefly argue the other person’s side to show you get it.
8. Agree on next step: One concrete action each.
9. If stuck: “Let’s pause for 20–60 minutes and revisit at ___. We’re on the same team.”

• Red-flag day: “Quick heads-up: I’m low-sleep/overloaded today. If I seem short, it’s not about you.”
• Boundary without blame: “I want to keep talking, and I need a 15-minute reset to stay respectful.”
• Repair after rupture: “I’m sorry for my tone earlier. Your point matters; can we try again?”

• Ask kids/teammates to share how they’re feeling + what they need (not who’s “right”).
• Normalize check-ins: “What outcome are you hoping for?”
• Celebrate process wins (no interrupting, calm tone, staying on topic), not just “winning.”

• Repeating stalemates on big life choices (money, parenting, moving, family size).
• Patterns of contempt, stonewalling, or scorekeeping.
• Bring in a counselor/mediator to create safety and structure.

• Nonviolent Communication — Marshall B. Rosenberg (feelings/needs framework)

• Andrew: Watching his son thrive at a first MMA practice—and the respectful community vibe.
• Cat: A surprise flower delivery (courtesy of Andrew and his mom) brightened a tough week.

Questions, coaching, or topic requests: hello@fiveyearyou.com

More episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.com

IG: @fiveyearyou

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking...