⚠️ SENSITIVE TOPIC WARNING: This episode discusses eating disorders (Anorexia/Bulimia), self-harm, and addiction.

"To the world, I looked disciplined. But inside, I was starving. Not just for food, but for control."

In this incredibly vulnerable episode of

FORLOVENESS

, Taylor pulls back the curtain on her years-long battle with eating disorders. She reveals the shocking truth that her starvation wasn't about weight—it was a desperate attempt to create safety in a chaotic world of

abandonment

and instability.

Ryan and Taylor discuss the dark reality of inpatient treatment, the "high" of purging, and why medical intervention often fails without spiritual transformation. This conversation exposes the eating disorder for what it really is:

a spiritual stronghold of control.

We also provide practical advice for parents and friends: What

NOT

to say to someone struggling (and why "You look healthy" is a trigger), and how to bring Jesus into the recovery process.

💔 If you are fighting a silent battle with food, body image, or control—this episode proves you are not alone, and freedom is possible.

✝️ Key Takeaways:

•

The "Father Wound":

How abandonment fuels the need for control.

•

The Addiction:

Why an eating disorder acts like a drug (The "High").

•

Religion vs. Relationship:

The danger of going to church without knowing God.

•

Practical Advice:

What NOT to say to someone with an eating disorder.

•

Finding Safety:

Transitioning from "fixing it yourself" to finding safety in God.

🕊️ Scriptures Referenced:

Psalm 34:18 • 2 Corinthians 12:9 • Galatians 5:1

HELPLINE RESOURCE:

If you or anyone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out to the National Eating Disorders Association helpline at 1-800-931-2237.

Connect with FORLOVENESS:

Follow on X: @forloveness

Is God truly silent in your darkest hours? 🙏

Join Taylor and Ryan on FORLOVENESS as they tackle the raw, often unspoken pain of feeling betrayed by God. In this powerful episode, Ryan shares his deeply personal journey after a devastating brain injury that erased his career, family, and identity a decade ago. From the agonizing question, "God, why would you let this happen?" to the slow, sometimes angry, path back to faith, this conversation dives deep into despair, frustration, and ultimately, profound discovery.

What you'll uncover in this episode:

• The Unvarnished Truth: Hear Ryan's candid account of his brain injury, the immediate and long-term struggles with pain, speech, memory, and profound anger at God.
• Betrayal & Breakdown: Explore the emotional fallout when life collapses and God feels distant, including the heartbreaking decision to leave his family for their protection.
• The "Splinter" Analogy: A powerful new perspective on why God allows suffering, likening it to a father removing a painful splinter for a child's greater good. Discover how these hardships are not punishments but necessities for healing and spiritual growth.
• From Anger to Acceptance: Witness the transformation of Ryan's relationship with God, moving from resentment and questioning to deeper trust and understanding.
• Finding Joy in Commands: How biblical wisdom (Psalm 119:143, Psalm 34:18, Jeremiah 29:11-13, Isaiah 55:8-9, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4) offers solace and guidance through immense suffering.
• The "Rumble Strip" Revelation: A compelling metaphor for God's subtle and not-so-subtle interventions to steer us away from disaster.
• Guilt, Shame, and Redemption: The ongoing work of overcoming past regrets and fostering renewed relationships, guided by faith.

This episode is for anyone who has felt abandoned, angry, or lost when facing life's insurmountable challenges. It's a testament to the idea that even when God seems silent, He is working, refining, and guiding us towards a future and a hope far greater than we can imagine.

Don't miss this raw, honest, and ultimately hopeful discussion. Subscribe to FORLOVENESS now and join the conversation about faith, suffering, and the unwavering plan of a good, good Father.

#FORLOVENESS #FaithJourney #BrainInjury #SpiritualStruggles #GodsPlan #SufferingAndFaith #ChristianPodcast #Healing #FindingHope #SpotifyPodcast #Inspiration #PersonalTestimony #OvercomingAdversity #TrustInGod #DivinePurpose #MentalHealthAndFaith #PodcastRecommendation

FORLOVENESS Ep 8: When God Turns Your Pain into Purpose (The Divine Redirection of Betrayal)

Is the deepest betrayal you've ever felt actually a divine trapdoor leading to your greatest purpose?

We all carry the scars of being let down, hurt, or completely abandoned. When life shatters your trust, the world feels chaotic and meaningless. But what if God takes those shattered pieces—the worst acts of betrayal—and uses them to re-engineer your entire life for an incredible, God-ordained story?

In this powerful episode, Taylor and Ryan get deeply vulnerable, connecting Taylor's own journey of assault and betrayal with timeless biblical narratives to reveal a profound truth: Your suffering is never wasted, it is being transformed into your authority.

What You'll Uncover in This Episode:

• The Shocking Power of Survival: Discover why God's presence is proven not by comfort in the moment, but by your survival—and how He always lifts you out of the pit.
• The Spiritual Weapon of Forgiveness: Learn why forgiveness isn't passive or weak—it's a potent, active spiritual weapon used to disarm the enemy's intent and bring about world-changing good, just like Joseph in Genesis.
• The Journey from "Why Me?" to "Use Me": Hear honest, raw accounts of letting go of control, surrendering the need for revenge, and allowing the unchangeable, faithful God to lead when the future is completely unclear.
• Betrayal as a Redirection: Why your pain is a re-engineering process, not a final destination, and how that very wound becomes the platform for your most powerful testimony.

Don't let your betrayal be an ending—listen now and discover how God is using it to write your greatest chapter.

Featured Stories: Taylor's assault and healing, the betrayal of Joseph, the power of the Roman Centurion's faith.

Hosts: Taylor and Ryan
Genre: Christian, Faith & Spirituality, Relationship
Listen. Love. Forgive.