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Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

By: Dr. Jessica Higgins
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 The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.Empowered Relationship Podcast - drjessicahiggins.com Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • ERP 501: From Projection to Presence: The Art of Seeing and Being Seen — An Interview With David Mars

    ERP 501: From Projection to Presence: The Art of Seeing and Being Seen — An Interview With David Mars
    Nov 4 2025
    Feeling unseen and misunderstood in your closest relationship can be one of the loneliest experiences, even when surrounded by family and friends. It's not uncommon for couples to fall into patterns of projection, reactivity, and defensiveness, leaving genuine intimacy and deep connection feeling just out of reach. How do we move from these cycles of blame and distance towards the kind of secure, transformative partnership that brings true accompaniment, dignity, and joy? In this episode, you are invited to slow down and explore new pathways to presence and connection. Through practical tools, guided reflection, and insights rooted in transformative couples therapy, you'll discover ways to move beyond automatic reactivity and habitual defense, and instead cultivate curiosity, somatic awareness, and genuine intimacy. Whether you're looking to strengthen trust, improve communication, or rekindle the spark in a long-term bond, this conversation offers powerful guidance for anyone seeking more clarity, care, and lasting growth in their relationships. Since 2008 Dr. David Mars has been the developer of Transformative Couples Therapy® (TCT). He leads seminars and training programs internationally on TCT. Affective neuroscience and attachment research are central to this experiential, somatically attuned and positivity-based method. Currently Dr. Mars also is the leader of a three-year project to quantify the results of TCT in preparation to offer published research on outcomes of the method. He is the Director of the Transformative Couples Therapy® Institute. Episode Highlights 03:39 The impact of curiosity and projections in long-term relationships. 08:32 How attachment styles form early in life and opportunities for change. 10:05 The importance of somatic awareness, attunement, and slowing down in relationships. 15:42 Gender, stress, and the emotional costs of disconnection. 17:48 Strategies for setting boundaries and cultivating safe communication. 23:14 Transformation and growth through the I-Thou relationship. 24:43 Daily practices and the seven channels of experience in couples therapy. 29:49 Awareness of energetic imprints and somatic patterns from early life. 31:15 Navigating and embracing partner differences in relationships. 34:43 The role of journaling, self-regulation, and reverence in relational health. 40:57 Somatic-based modalities, resources, and generativity in relationships. Your Check List of Actions to Take Begin your conversations or sessions with your partner by sharing something you appreciate about each other to set a positive tone. Take a deep inhale and exhale together to ground yourselves and invite presence before important discussions. Communicate your feelings and needs using "I" statements to promote vulnerability and reduce defensiveness. Speak directly to your partner, not just about them or through a third party, to foster genuine connection. Notice and share your body sensations (like a tight chest or warm hands) during emotional exchanges to heighten self-awareness and attunement. Approach your partner with genuine curiosity and try to witness their experience, rather than making assumptions or projecting your own perspective. If either partner feels overwhelmed or unresourced, honor the need to pause and agree on a time to revisit the conversation. Tune into the seven channels—sensation, emotion, energy, movement, auditory, visual, and imaginal—to enrich both your self-awareness and your communication with your partner. Mentioned Martin Buber (Britannica link) (biography) I-Thou (*Britannica link) The I-Thou Relationship and Unconditional Positive Regard (*Psychology Today) Carl Rogers (*Wikipedia link) (article) The 1957 Martin Buber-Carl Rogers Dialogue, as Dialogue (*Sage Journals) (study) Beatrice Beebe (*Wikipedia link) (article) *John Bowlby (*Wikipedia link) (article) *John Beebe (*Wikipedia link) (article) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free relationship guide) (pdf) Connect with David Mars Websites: tctinstitute.org Facebook: facebook.com/p/Center-for-Transformative-Therapy-100087943999843 Instagram: instagram.com/transformativecouplestherapy/ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/transformative-couples-therapy
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    45 mins
  • ERP 500: The Practice of Us: Living the Skills That Keep Love Alive

    ERP 500: The Practice of Us: Living the Skills That Keep Love Alive
    Oct 28 2025

    This episode marks an incredible milestone—the 500th episode of the Empowered Relationship Podcast. To celebrate, Dr. Jessica Higgins and her husband, Reid Peterson, sit down for a heartfelt and revealing conversation about what it really takes to cultivate a truly empowered partnership.

    If you've ever wondered why, despite your best intentions, emotional honesty and vulnerability can feel so risky—or why differences and conflict so often create distance instead of closeness—you're not alone. The path to authentic connection is filled with challenges that test even the strongest relationships.

    In this special episode, Jessica and Reid open up about the principles and practices that have helped them build a foundation of trust, love, and growth throughout their years together. They share personal stories, practical strategies, and honest reflections on navigating tough conversations, supporting each other's emotional needs, and finding clarity in uncertain times.

    Whether you're learning to handle conflict, embrace vulnerability, or co-create a meaningful vision for your life together, you'll discover insights and tools to transform relationship challenges into opportunities for deeper connection and lasting love.

    Episode Highlights

    04:58 Building safety and trust through honesty in partnership.

    09:15 Jessica shares how vulnerability early in dating deepened their intimacy.

    11:47 How honest conversations help reduce shame and strengthen connection.

    14:11 How different personalities shape communication in relationships.

    19:52 Strategies to navigate conflict with calm and empathy.

    35:51 Building clarity, connection, and purpose through joint visioning.

    44:08 Strengthening relationships through further exploration and resources.

    Your Check List of Actions to Take

    • Practice speaking honestly about your core feelings, emotions, and needs—even when it feels risky or uncomfortable.

    • Pause during moments of tension to take a few deep breaths, center yourself, and check in with what you're feeling before responding.

    • When conflict arises, communicate the need for space calmly and agree on a time to revisit the discussion to avoid sweeping issues under the rug.

    • Seek reassurance or a quick check-in from your partner during periods of disconnection to help reduce anxiety and foster trust.

    • Cultivate attuned listening—focus on truly understanding what your partner is expressing beyond the words, and ask clarifying questions when needed.

    • Name whether you're seeking comfort or solutions in conversations, so your partner knows how best to support you.

    • Regularly engage in shared visioning exercises together to clarify mutual values and dreams, and support each other in the process—even when values differ.

    • Download and use the "12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love" guide to gain clarity and practical strategies for your relationship.

    Mentioned

    12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free relationship guide) (pdf)

    Relational Health Assessment (quiz)
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    47 mins
  • ERP 499: Regulate to Relate: Building Embodied Safety in Love — An Interview with Aubrey Aust

    ERP 499: Regulate to Relate: Building Embodied Safety in Love — An Interview with Aubrey Aust
    Oct 21 2025
    Ever feel like you know all the “right” things to do in a relationship, but when the moment comes, your body is flooded with stress, your voice tightens, or you just shut down? Many of us long for deep connection and trust, but when life gets real, our nervous system can hijack our best intentions. The invisible forces of old wounds, protective patterns, and the lightning-fast reactions of our bodies can make true safety in love feel just out of reach. In this episode, you’ll discover practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and feeling safe and connected with your partner. Drawing on insights from attachment and polyvagal theory, somatic psychology, and real-world relationship experiences, the conversation sheds light on what “embodied safety” truly means—and why it’s the foundation for intimacy, trust, and even passion. Listeners will come away with tools to notice their body’s cues, co-regulate with a partner, and develop relational intelligence that supports lasting, resilient love—even when challenges arise. Aubrey Aust is a writer and master’s candidate at NYU studying relational psychology and philosophy. Her work explores how emotional safety, embodiment, and relational intelligence shape intimacy and trust. Drawing from attachment theory, polyvagal theory, and somatic psychology, Aubrey helps individuals and couples understand how to build safety in relationships through both the mind and the body. She is passionate about making complex psychological insights practical, soulful, and deeply human. Episode Highlights 08:38 How our bodies subconsciously sense safety or danger in relationships. 10:32 The importance of nonverbal cues and body sensations in emotional communication. 16:50 Identifying and changing self-protective behaviors that block intimacy. 19:10 Accessing vulnerability for co-regulation. 21:54 How consistency shapes true relational growth. 26:32 Navigating the tension between meeting others’ needs and self-care in daily life. 28:08 How curiosity about intense emotions can help heal shame and estrangement. 32:04 How understanding core needs brings freedom and new options in relationships. 35:17 Rewiring your reactions: How noticing your nervous system transforms relationships. 38:39 How small shifts in attention can instantly calm your nervous system. 41:30 Unlocking the power to heal and evolve through relationship challenges. Your Check List of Actions to Take Take conscious pauses to slow down and deepen your breath, helping you regulate stress and become more present in relationships. Practice tuning into your bodily sensations during interactions—notice tension, breath patterns, or relaxation—to better understand your felt sense of safety. Build somatic awareness by gently observing your physical reactions when you feel unsafe or activated, such as tightness, speeding up, or shutting down. Create check-in rituals with your partner to attune to each other’s nervous system cues, like noticing changes in body language, tone, or energy. Normalize and expect moments of rupture or conflict, and view them as opportunities to build relational trust through repair and open communication. Get curious about your protective patterns (such as people-pleasing, avoidance, or hyper-independence) and consider when they may no longer serve intimacy. Use subtle self-regulation techniques in social situations, like grounding your feet, gently pressing your fingers together, or scanning the room to calm your nervous system. When you feel dysregulated in a conversation, ask clarifying questions or take a brief pause to gather yourself instead of reacting from a place of activation. Mentioned It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Social Baseline Theory (National Library of Medicine article) Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (Psychology Today) Polyvegal Theory (Polyvagal Institute) ERP 261: How To Strengthen Your Relationship From A Polyvagal Perspective – An Interview with Dr. Stephen Porges ERP 276: Understanding The Need For Both Self-Regulation And Co-Regulation In Relationship – An interview With Deb Dana Evolve in Love (program) Evolve In Love Discovery Session with Dr. Jessica Higgins (Acuity booking link) Connect with Aubrey Aust Websites: aubreyaust.com YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCozW2k08GkMQbjs1vyN_Fkw Instagram: www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/aubrey-aust-8b7744174 Newsletter: aubreyaust.com/newsletter
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    47 mins
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