We call it "being productive," but for a lot of us it's a nervous system stuck in go mode. Always on. Always bracing. Then someone says "just breathe" and it sounds like a joke.

Dr. Marc Brackett sits down with former NFL wide receiver and mindfulness facilitator Brandon "SOUL COLE" Coleman to talk about what happens when performance mode becomes your identity and stillness starts to feel unsafe.

In this conversation:

• The identity crash after injury and why it can trigger anxiety, depression, and shutdown
• Why five minutes a day can actually change your patterns if you stick with it
• Mindfulness vs. breathwork and why "just breathe" isn't enough
• The five senses reset that works for skeptics in under two minutes
• Masculinity, vulnerability, and unlearning "tighten up"
• What it looks like to plant these skills early for kids and communities

Links

Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/marc.brackett

X: https://x.com/marcbrackett

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drmarcbrackett

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drmarcbrackett

About the guest

Brandon "SOUL COLE" Coleman is a former NFL wide receiver and mindfulness facilitator who helps people build practical tools for regulation, resilience, and real-life performance.

Connect with SOUL COLE

Instagram: @b_cole16

SOUL Impact Foundation: https://soulimpactfoundation.org

Dr. Marc Brackett's Books

• Permission to Feel
• Dealing with Feeling

Explore Marc Brackett's work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, where he serves as founding director, and learn more about RULER—an evidence-based, systemic approach to SEL developed at Yale that supports leaders, educators, students, and families in building emotional intelligence and creating healthier school climates.

A special thank you to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence for supporting this webcast. I also want to thank Oji Life Lab for their generous support: https://ojilifelab.com. Oji Life Lab is the leader in mastery-centered learning for the workplace. To develop your skills in leadership, emotional intelligence and more, visit oji life lab dot com or click the link in the description of this video and use the promo code DEALINGWITHFEELINGS to save 25%.

We call it "normal life."

But for most of us, it's a low-grade chronic stress loop.

News alerts. Group chats. Doomscrolling. Constant urgency.

In this episode of Dealing With Feeling, Dr. Marc Brackett sits down with clinical psychologist and author Dr. Elisha Goldstein to explore how tiny emotional shifts can interrupt stress patterns, strengthen relationships, and change the trajectory of our health over time.

This is a conversation about emotional longevity — and what it means to stop living in permanent survival mode.

In this conversation:

• Why anxiety is not your identity, but a reinforced loop

• How low-grade stress becomes "the water we swim in"

• Elisha's 4R method: Recognize, Release, Refocus, Reinforce

• Moving from blame into skillful emotional requests in relationships

• How small shifts in real moments create long-term change

Links

Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/marc.brackett

X: https://x.com/marcbrackett

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drmarcbrackett

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drmarcbrackett

About the guest

Dr. Elisha Goldstein is a clinical psychologist, teacher, and author whose work focuses on mindfulness, resilience, and emotional health.

Guest links

Website: https://elishagoldstein.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/drelishagoldstein

Dr. Marc Brackett's Books

• Permission to Feel

• Dealing with Feeling

Explore Marc Brackett's work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, where he serves as founding director, and learn more about RULER—an evidence-based, systemic approach to SEL developed at Yale that supports leaders, educators, students, and families in building emotional intelligence and creating healthier school climates.

A special thank you to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence for supporting this webcast. I also want to thank Oji Life Lab for their generous support: https://ojilifelab.com. Oji Life Lab is the leader in mastery-centered learning for the workplace. To develop your skills in leadership, emotional intelligence and more, visit oji life lab dot com or click the link in the description of this video and use the promo code DEALINGWITHFEELINGS to save 25%.

Gaslighting is not just an argument. It is a slow erosion of identity.

Dr. Marc Brackett sits down with his longtime friend and colleague Dr. Robin Stern to unpack The Gaslight Effect, how anxiety fuels both the gaslighter and the gaslightee, and what it takes to rebuild self-trust. They explore how people don't lose their reality overnight. They lose it in inches, one second-guess at a time.

In this conversation:

• What gaslighting really is and why it is so disorienting
• The three stages of The Gaslight Effect: disbelief, defense, depression
• That first "maybe it wasn't that bad" moment, and why it matters
• How fear of being "the bad one" keeps the cycle going
• How to start rebuilding self-trust after months or years of doubt

About the guest

Dr. Robin Stern is a psychoanalyst and the Senior Advisor to the Director at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. She is the author of The Gaslight Effect, the Recovery Guide of the same name, the host of The Gaslight Effect podcast and a leading voice on gaslighting and self-trust.

Robin's links:

Website: https://robinstern.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/dr.robinstern

X: https://x.com/RobinSStern

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drrobinstern

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a

Resources

The Gaslight Effect

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide

Marc's Links

Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/marc.brackett

X: https://x.com/marcbrackett

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drmarcbrackett

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drmarcbrackett

Dr. Marc Brackett's Books

• Permission to Feel
• Dealing with Feeling

Explore Marc Brackett's work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, where he serves as founding director, and learn more about RULER—an evidence-based, systemic approach to SEL developed at Yale that supports leaders, educators, students, and families in building emotional intelligence and creating healthier school climates.

A special thank you to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence for supporting this webcast. I also want to thank Oji Life Lab for their generous support: https://ojilifelab.com. Oji Life Lab is the leader in mastery-centered learning for the workplace. To develop your skills in leadership, emotional intelligence and more, visit oji life lab dot com or click the link in the description of this video and use the promo code DEALINGWITHFEELINGS to save 25%.

Teens have language for anxiety. Most adults never got language for their own feelings.

Dr. Marc Brackett sits down with Jamie Lockwood and Liz Fletcher to talk about what it means to raise and teach teens in this mental health moment. Together, they explore why more "mental health talk" hasn't solved the crisis, what teens actually need from adults, and how to support big feelings without shutting down, fixing, or turning everything into a performance.

In this conversation:

• Why teen mental health is declining even with more "mental health talk"
• The adolescent brain "under construction" and why that matters
• Emotion judge vs. emotion scientist, and how teens can make the shift
• Tools used in real school settings (CBT triangle, RAIN, circle of control)
• Co-regulation at home when parents are exhausted, overwhelmed, and scared
• What they wish parents had known about emotions

Links

Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/marc.brackett

X: https://x.com/marcbrackett

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drmarcbrackett

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drmarcbrackett

About the guests

Jamie Lockwood is a school-based clinician. Liz Fletcher is an educator and parent.

The Teens Guide to Emotions: Our Essential Workbook for Navigating Big Feelings, Decision-Making, and Relationships with Confidence https://www.amazon.com/Teens-Guide-Em...

Website: https://www.fearlessinkpress.com.

Dr. Marc Brackett's Books

• Permission to Feel
• Dealing with Feeling

Explore Marc Brackett's work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, where he serves as founding director, and learn more about RULER—an evidence-based, systemic approach to SEL developed at Yale that supports leaders, educators, students, and families in building emotional intelligence and creating healthier school climates.

A special thank you to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence for supporting this webcast. I also want to thank Oji Life Lab for their generous support: https://ojilifelab.com. Oji Life Lab is the leader in mastery-centered learning for the workplace. To develop your skills in leadership, emotional intelligence and more, visit oji life lab dot com or click the link in the description of this video and use the promo code DEALINGWITHFEELINGS to save 25%.

We turned happiness into a checklist. Then wondered why it never feels like enough.

Dr. Marc Brackett sits down with Dr. Laurie Santos to unpack the "happiness trap" and the quiet ways we chase the wrong things. They talk about miswanting, why we get obsessed with the future, and how a life that looks good on paper can still feel empty on the inside. You'll hear what the research actually says helps, and the small shifts that make happiness feel more real and more sustainable.

In this conversation:

• Why our brains are so bad at predicting what will make us happy
• The "hyper-focus on the future" that steals joy from the present
• Happy in your life vs. happy with your life, and why that distinction matters
• Why social connection keeps showing up as a happiness "superpower"
• How emotional intelligence and RULER support real well-being, not fake positivity

Links

Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/marc.brackett

X: https://x.com/marcbrackett

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drmarcbrackett

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drmarcbrackett

About the guest

Dr. Laurie Santos is a Yale psychologist and host of The Happiness Lab.

Listen to The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos:

https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-h...

Dr. Marc Brackett's Books

• Permission to Feel
• Dealing with Feeling

Explore Marc Brackett's work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, where he serves as founding director, and learn more about RULER—an evidence-based, systemic approach to SEL developed at Yale that supports leaders, educators, students, and families in building emotional intelligence and creating healthier school climates.

A special thank you to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence for supporting this webcast. I also want to thank Oji Life Lab for their generous support. Visit https://ojilifelab.com and use promo code DEALINGWITHFEELINGS to save 25%.

The worst part of anxiety is not the feeling. It's the loop. The "what if" that keeps feeding itself until it feels like truth.

Dr. Marc Brackett sits down with Dr. Judson Brewer to unpack how worry becomes a habit, why reassurance and mental debate often backfire, and how curiosity can disrupt the cycle without forcing you to "think positive."

In this conversation:

• How anxiety becomes a loop: trigger → worry → short relief → more worry
• Why worrying feels like control even when it isn't
• Curiosity as the interrupt that changes the pattern
• Anxiety vs stress vs overwhelm and why precise labeling matters
• A simple way to shift from "oh no" to "oh"

Links

Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/marc.brackett

X: https://x.com/marcbrackett

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drmarcbrackett

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drmarcbrackett

About the guest

Dr. Judson Brewer is a psychiatrist and neuroscientist who studies habit change and anxiety.

Judd's books: Unwinding Anxiety, The Craving Mind, The Hunger Habit

https://drjud.com

Programs & resources:

https://goingbeyondanxiety.com

https://juddbrewer.substack.com

Dr. Marc Brackett's Books

• Permission to Feel
• Dealing with Feeling

Explore Marc Brackett's work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, where he serves as founding director, and learn more about RULER—an evidence-based, systemic approach to SEL developed at Yale that supports leaders, educators, students, and families in building emotional intelligence and creating healthier school climates.

A special thank you to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence for supporting this webcast. I also want to thank Oji Life Lab for their generous support. Visit https://ojilifelab.com and use promo code DEALINGWITHFEELINGS to save 25%.

Most of us aren't trying to raise perfect kids. We're trying to raise kids who can handle life without falling apart. The problem is… adults are drowning too.

Dr. Marc Brackett sits down with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Dealing With Feeling to break down what emotionally healthy parenting actually looks like in real time—especially when your child is melting down, you're depleted, and every instinct is telling you to control the moment.

In this conversation:

• The difference between boundaries and harshness
• Why "all feelings are welcome" doesn't mean all behaviors are
• The five essentials: relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, repair
• Repair after rupture and the language that rebuilds trust
• How to stay steady without becoming permissive or reactive

Links

Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/marc.brackett

X: https://x.com/marcbrackett

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drmarcbrackett

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drmarcbrackett

About the guest

Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist and co-founding director of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center.

Explore Aliza's work

Raising Good Humans podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...

Instagram: @raisinggoodhumanspodcast

Mount Sinai Parenting Center: https://www.mountsinai.org/care/parenting-center

Dr. Marc Brackett's Books

• Permission to Feel
• Dealing with Feeling

Explore Marc Brackett's work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, where he serves as founding director, and learn more about RULER—an evidence-based, systemic approach to SEL developed at Yale that supports leaders, educators, students, and families in building emotional intelligence and creating healthier school climates.

A special thank you to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence for supporting this webcast. I also want to thank Oji Life Lab for their generous support. Visit https://ojilifelab.com and use promo code DEALINGWITHFEELINGS to save 25%.

If you only regulate once you're already at a 10, you're not practicing resilience. You're doing damage control.

Dr. Marc Brackett sits down with Stephanie Boxerbaum on Dealing With Feeling to unpack why high-achievers resist mindfulness, what "enoughness" actually means when you still care about excellence, and how to build small, real practices that prevent the spiral instead of cleaning it up after.

In this conversation:

• "Don't be a crisis meditator" and what prevention actually looks like
• Why constant problem-solving keeps you tense
• Enoughness without lowering standards
• A discreet reset you can do in under a minute
• How to stay present when parenting stress hits

Links

Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/marc.brackett

X: https://x.com/marcbrackett

Facebook: https://facebook.com/drmarcbrackett

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drmarcbrackett

About the guest

Stephanie Boxerbaum is Managing Partner at Box Counsel and a certified meditation teacher.

Guest link

Box Counsel: https://www.boxcounsel.com

Dr. Marc Brackett's Books

• Permission to Feel
• Dealing with Feeling

Explore Marc Brackett's work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, where he serves as founding director, and learn more about RULER—an evidence-based, systemic approach to SEL developed at Yale that supports leaders, educators, students, and families in building emotional intelligence and creating healthier school climates.

A special thank you to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence for supporting this webcast. I also want to thank Oji Life Lab for their generous support. Visit https://ojilifelab.com and use promo code DEALINGWITHFEELINGS to save 25%.