Why does saying no make your heart race?

Why can honesty feel like risk?

This episode explores what happens when boundaries stir up the old fear of losing love. Paul learns how a simple process check can bring kindness to endings, while Jereme discovers how early lessons about punishment and approval still shape her adult relationships.

If self-advocacy makes you anxious, this conversation will help you find truth and tenderness in the same breath.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

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• Join the School of Human Connection
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In this week's conversation, Vanessa brings forward the pain of a friendship that feels increasingly one-sided. Together, we explore the difference between situational limits and structural limits in relationships, how to trust the “data” we receive when others shut down, and the grief that comes with realizing we may be doing too much emotional labor.

We explore how to discern when to keep engaging, when to step back, and how to communicate desires for mutuality without blame. We also look at why some people can talk the talk of empathy yet still struggle to walk it in relationships. And, how to honor our own boundaries when reciprocity is missing.

Listener Takeaways

•Learn how to interpret someone’s emotional shutdowns as information about capacity rather than a reflection on your delivery.

•Recognize the signs of over-functioning in friendships and how to stop carrying all the emotional labor.

•Practice asking direct but compassionate questions that clarify whether mutuality is truly present.

•Understand the developmental stages of NVC practice and why some people can use the tools for their own needs but not yet offer reciprocity.

•Embrace grief as a necessary step when relationships aren’t mutual, while keeping your heart open to future possibilities.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

When Nancy learned that her niece had removed a single sentence from a family speech, one that acknowledged Nancy’s marriage and presence, it triggered a wave of old pain. What may seem like a small omission unearthed decades of erasure, advocacy, and exhaustion.

In this deeply moving conversation, we explore how one personal moment of being edited out becomes a microcosm of much larger cultural shifts. As stories of marginalized people are quietly removed from government websites, training programs, and public institutions, Nancy’s family moment reflects a collective trend: what gets remembered, and what gets deleted, is never neutral.

Together, we navigate the emotional toll of invisibility, the weight of lifelong advocacy, and the tender discernment it takes to speak up with care. Whether you’ve been left out of the story, or left someone else out, this episode offers a powerful invitation to return ourselves, and each other, to the circle.

Listener Takeaways:

•Erasure may not be loud,but it’s deeply impactful. Small omissions can reactivate deep emotional wounds, especially for those historically marginalized.

•Silence isn’t neutral. Bystanders and witnesses have power, too. A lack of acknowledgment can deepen the harm.

•Discernment is key. Speaking up doesn’t always mean confronting the whole crowd. Often, one honest conversation is what opens the door to healing.

•Advocacy fatigue is real. Especially for elders who’ve carried this work for decades. There’s wisdom in knowing how to keep showing up in ways that preserve your energy and dignity.

•Returning non-love with love is an act of sovereignty. It’s not about people-pleasing: it’s about transforming disconnection into care without abandoning yourself.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on one of our live calls
• Check out my YouTube page