This episode is less Close Encounters and more “Hold My Beer, Jesus” as Nick and Ryan stumble through the life of Chris Bledsoe—a man whose existence plays like the world’s darkest blooper reel before aliens show up to make things weirder. By age 10 he’d already been shot in the back, lit on fire, and busted his face on a bunk bed; by 20, his wife died in his arms and he fell off scaffolding. Naturally, the only logical next step was UFO abduction.

When Chris finally catches a “break,” it’s not financial stability—it’s three suns in the sky, glowing orbs with mechanical eyelids, and his teenage son paralyzed in the woods like a rejected X-Files subplot. Add in time-loss confusion, nine lights doing synchronized sky-raves, and government suits sniffing around, and suddenly his IBS doesn’t seem like the worst thing in his life.

Naturally, the whole gang witnesses UFOs doing synchronized swimming routines in the night sky, and their collective reaction is: “Forget the cooler—LEAVE.” (Because who needs beer when you’ve just been probed by interdimensional light orbs?)

This episode has it all: government coverups, glowing entities, time slips, and a man whose autobiography could double as both a country song and an X-Files script.

Bottom line: it’s not divine revelation—it’s alien domination, and Chris Bledsoe is either chosen by God or just the galaxy’s favorite plaything.

Forget Dan Brown—this is more like Monty Python meets National Treasure, with a heavy pour of tequila and bourbon. Nick and Ryan stumble headfirst into the saga of the Knights Templar, nine medieval dudes who thought poverty and celibacy sounded like a good time—as long as they still got horses and swords. Somehow, these broke monks reinvented themselves as history’s first bankers, inventing the medieval version of Venmo, before getting absolutely wrecked on Friday the 13th (yep, that’s why the date still gives you the creeps).

Along the way we get shady Popes, power-tripping kings, and a superstition-shattering plot twist that wrecked more than just their order. The Templar fleet vanishes faster than Ryan’s Don Roberto tequila, possibly reappearing in Scotland just in time to help Braveheart’s bros kick England’s ass. Fast-forward a few centuries and suddenly we’re in New York, with a wannabe castle on the Hudson hiding secret brass seals, octopus carvings, and coded instructions that scream “insert Indiana Jones theme music here.”

Bottom line: it’s less “holy order” and more “holy sh*t,” with history, booze, and enough conspiracy fuel to keep Reddit going for decades.

In this episode, we discuss our two most credible cases to date, one slightly more than the other. Join us for our Season 1 Finale as we change things up a bit and give you two highly researched cases for the price of one. Hint hint, if you haven’t paid a price at all, you should go do that over on Patreon right now. We’ll wait. Thank you in advance for your staggering contribution to our booze fund. This episode is much akin to a circus in that performances of varying degrees were given, half the performers were drunk, a blue crack pipe was involved, and some genius swallowed fire. Literally, Ryan made me drink a shot that was on fire during recording. Oh, and also we talking about some BS involving the moon being a hologram and a century long grand conspiracy about the Titanic not actually sinking. But more importantly, I SWALLOWED FIRE.

In this episode, we discuss the fascinating yet terrifying eccentricity that is Jack Parsons, aka Marvel Whiteside Parsons, aka Frater T.O.P.A.N. What is this guy, a WWE wrestler? Truth be told, I think I would rather sign up for a John Cena sized can of whoop ass to be opened on me than mess with Jack Parsons. Seriously, this dude was known to try and conjure forth various demonic entities for no other reason than to see if it would actually work. And we are supposed to be shooketh to find out his house was severely haunted? So much so that he hired a priest to come by on a weekly basis to cast out whatever supernatural rabble he had managed to coax forth from the ether. Side note, this guy had top secret security clearance and basically invented the rocket fuel that got us to the moon. Despite his hobby of hobnobbing with his spiritual betters, you have to stop and marvel at his scientific accomplishments. I’m so sorry, I can’t help myself. He was just such a marvel. Damnit! Even in my remorse I am…..wait for it…..Marvelous. Mic Drop.

In this episode, we discuss the possibility that alien visitation to our planet may have a more sinister, or even demonic purpose to it. Join us as we go on an intergalactic journey of epic proportion. First stop, planet earth, to meet the Collins Elite, an ultra-secret CIA organization whose name has an incredibly disappointing origin story. Next, we travel to space station Care Bear Share to meet up with our good buddy Desca of the Fourth Density and his pals at the “Council of 7 Lights”. A quick layover at Venus introduces us to Orthon and his translucent spaceship. Finally, before heading home, we check up on the Russians to make sure they are not weaponizing aliens and UFOs in order to promote Communism. Never know what them damn Russkies are up to. As we arrive back on our home planet on the sunny beaches of California, we see the Colins Elite have enacted their grand plan and are currently projecting various cultural stereotypes of Jesus in the clouds. Is that Jesus holding a bong and riding a surf board?

In this episode, we discuss how the powers at be utilized Project Chameleo to wage the ultimate psy-op against an unsuspecting, already brain addled crack head named Dion. And in case you were drawn in by the episode title, yes, invisible midgets are in no short supply in this story. Ah the irony. In the words of your favorite infomercial, “but wait, there’s more!” From the unseen vertically challenged we venture into events that lack no degree of ridiculousness and hilarity. Dion reports the rooms in his apartment increase and decrease in size as well as all manner of crazy 3D life-like images being broadcast on his walls. In addition to this, let’s throw in some stolen military night-vision goggles and a DOD laptop as well as NCIS involvement and a predator drone. This fiesta wouldn’t be complete though without also mentioning a Mexican guy named Chino with a 13 inch churro. Yes, that really is part of the story. By the end of this all, you’ll either be a firm believer or desperately trying to get ahold of whatever Dion was smoking.

In this episode, we discuss what is either heavy involvement in the Occult or severe eccentricity by the music industry’s elite. Heavy Occult involvement is a much juicier story though so let’s stick to that. Seriously though, why is ASAP Rocky seen performing a magic ritual inside a pentagram in his music video “Wassup”? There is even a magical grimoire and ceremonial dagger in the middle of the pentagram! And don’t even get me started on the pyramid ring he flashes. That ain’t gangster! Then, is his other popular music video “Long Live ASAP” he is seen sporting a pair of sneakers with the number 33 on them. Obviously indicating he is a 33rd degree Mason. Straight facts homie! If you need more, check out Ciara’s music video “Keep on Looking”. If you keep on looking at her leather boots in the video, you will see they are a mile high and have the words “Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn” written on them. I don’t think the Red Light district is passing out boots that advertise a secret sex magic society from the late 1800s. Although, that could be good for business. To top it all off, Ryan and I discover through the use of Numerology that together, we form an Ugly Tyrant. I’m not happy about it but the numbers have spoken.

In this episode, we discuss a fascinating treasure hunt that spans the length of nearly 2,000 years. Join us as we venture back in time to the Roman Empire and its ever-peaceful means of conquest. There is no chance whatsoever this episode contains mass annihilation of a people group, attempted robbery of an insurmountable treasure from said annihilated people group, and that particular people groups’ ruler getting brutally murdered because they wore the wrong color robe. Rome was much too civilized for all that crazy jazz. BUT, in the off-chance history was written by the victors, what happened to these people and all their copious booty?! It means swag you neanderthal. Get your mind out of the gutter. In this episode we attempt to unravel the “What ifs” behind this story. I think you’ll find it to be a truly treasured story. See what I did there.