This episode is less Close Encounters and more “Hold My Beer, Jesus” as Nick and Ryan stumble through the life of Chris Bledsoe—a man whose existence plays like the world’s darkest blooper reel before aliens show up to make things weirder. By age 10 he’d already been shot in the back, lit on fire, and busted his face on a bunk bed; by 20, his wife died in his arms and he fell off scaffolding. Naturally, the only logical next step was UFO abduction.

When Chris finally catches a “break,” it’s not financial stability—it’s three suns in the sky, glowing orbs with mechanical eyelids, and his teenage son paralyzed in the woods like a rejected X-Files subplot. Add in time-loss confusion, nine lights doing synchronized sky-raves, and government suits sniffing around, and suddenly his IBS doesn’t seem like the worst thing in his life.

Naturally, the whole gang witnesses UFOs doing synchronized swimming routines in the night sky, and their collective reaction is: “Forget the cooler—LEAVE.” (Because who needs beer when you’ve just been probed by interdimensional light orbs?)

This episode has it all: government coverups, glowing entities, time slips, and a man whose autobiography could double as both a country song and an X-Files script.

Bottom line: it’s not divine revelation—it’s alien domination, and Chris Bledsoe is either chosen by God or just the galaxy’s favorite plaything.

Forget Dan Brown—this is more like Monty Python meets National Treasure, with a heavy pour of tequila and bourbon. Nick and Ryan stumble headfirst into the saga of the Knights Templar, nine medieval dudes who thought poverty and celibacy sounded like a good time—as long as they still got horses and swords. Somehow, these broke monks reinvented themselves as history’s first bankers, inventing the medieval version of Venmo, before getting absolutely wrecked on Friday the 13th (yep, that’s why the date still gives you the creeps).

Along the way we get shady Popes, power-tripping kings, and a superstition-shattering plot twist that wrecked more than just their order. The Templar fleet vanishes faster than Ryan’s Don Roberto tequila, possibly reappearing in Scotland just in time to help Braveheart’s bros kick England’s ass. Fast-forward a few centuries and suddenly we’re in New York, with a wannabe castle on the Hudson hiding secret brass seals, octopus carvings, and coded instructions that scream “insert Indiana Jones theme music here.”

Bottom line: it’s less “holy order” and more “holy sh*t,” with history, booze, and enough conspiracy fuel to keep Reddit going for decades.

In this episode, we discuss our two most credible cases to date, one slightly more than the other. Join us for our Season 1 Finale as we change things up a bit and give you two highly researched cases for the price of one. Hint hint, if you haven’t paid a price at all, you should go do that over on Patreon right now. We’ll wait. Thank you in advance for your staggering contribution to our booze fund. This episode is much akin to a circus in that performances of varying degrees were given, half the performers were drunk, a blue crack pipe was involved, and some genius swallowed fire. Literally, Ryan made me drink a shot that was on fire during recording. Oh, and also we talking about some BS involving the moon being a hologram and a century long grand conspiracy about the Titanic not actually sinking. But more importantly, I SWALLOWED FIRE.