Content note: This episode includes frank discussion of sex, pornography, and religious control.

Author Ben Crawford spent decades inside a tight church network where life, money, and meaning were all centralized. When he started sharing his life on YouTube and telling the truth in 12-step rooms, the system pushed back. He lost community, business ties, and friends. He also found something bigger: a voice, a marriage that’s alive, and a way of connecting that doesn’t hide behind ideas. This is a conversation about escaping control, learning vulnerability, and why honesty beats “accountability” every time.

Topics we cover

• Preaching vs sharing: why ideas felt safe and intimacy didn’t

• The men’s “accountability” script and why it blocks connection

• What 12-step groups modeled: clear truth, no fixing, real safety

• The “cult continuum” and how control shows up in everyday church life

• Grading communities by behavior, not labels

• Choosing where to be authentic and where to hold boundaries

• Ben’s love story with Cami and the surprising payoff of telling the truth
  

Why listen

If you’ve felt the gap between what your community promised and what it delivered, or if you’ve tried to change people with ideas and missed the chance to actually bond, this episode gives language and practices for a different way forward.

About Ben

Ben Crawford is the author of the bestselling 2000 Miles Together: The Story of the Largest Family to Hike the Appalachian Trail and has been featured on Good Morning America and NPR’s This American Life. Formerly entrenched in fundamentalist religion and once at the helm of one of the world’s largest blackjack teams (profiled in the documentary Holy Rollers: The True Story of Card Counting Christians), Ben brings a singular perspective to faith, risk, and reinvention. Retired in his 30s, he’s a prolific YouTuber with 1,000+ uploads, and he now finds joy in poker and marathon running—with his six kids often along for the mile markers.

Links

• Ben’s book: The Courage to Share (affiliate link)

  Ben’s YouTube family channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FightforTogether

Community. It’s a word we throw around a lot, but what does it really mean? And what does it look like specially if you’re no longer part of a church or faith-based group?

In this episode, I talk with Sarah Wildeman, a leadership and relationship dynamics coach, community builder, and founder of Our Common. Sarah has spent years living in intentional communities, leading women’s circles, and guiding people through the art of authentic connection. Drawing from her background in forest ecology, permaculture, and a love for all things rooted in nature, she helps people grow relationships with the same care you’d give a thriving garden—intentionally, patiently, and with deep respect for what each season brings.

We explore:

• The difference between having friends and actually being part of a community.
• Why so many people are craving deeper connections right now.
• How shared values, rituals, and commitments create belonging.
• What we can learn from nature about building relationships that last.

• • The grief and longing that can come when we lose a sense of community.

  
  

• Sarah’s insights are practical, hopeful, and refreshingly honest about the effort it takes to create and sustain meaningful connection. Whether you’ve left a faith community or are simply hungry for more intentional relationships, this conversation offers both inspiration and tangible ideas for reimagining what community can look like.

  
  

  Connect with Sarah:

  • Website: our-common.com
  • Course: Our Common Life
  • Instagram: @our__common

What does it take to unlearn the shame of purity culture and begin to feel safe in your own body again?

In this episode, Josh Harris talks with writer, content creator, and podcast host Jubilee Dawn, a woman passionate about helping others heal out loud. Through her platforms Healed-ish and The Overshare Hour, Jubilee shares survivor stories ranging from domestic violence to religious trauma, with honesty, vulnerability, and humor.

This conversation centers around a deeply personal post Jubilee shared about how her relationship with her husband helped her heal from purity culture. In the interview we walk through it line by line, reflecting on what healing can look like when we’re met with tenderness instead of judgment.

In the original post Jubilee writes:

• He comforted me when I had a panic attack the first time we were intimate

• As I cried, I kept saying “I am a whore”

• He repeated over and over: “You are not a whore”

• We talked about our past relationships without shame

• He told me it was okay to disappoint others by going on a trip before marriage

• He told me God was not mad at me

• He helped me explore my sexuality

• He told me my ex was wrong about me

• (And we went back and got the burger that gave me freedom)

• He said these things over and over until… I believed him.

This is a tender, courageous conversation about shame, love, and what’s possible when we begin to write a new story.

Connect with Jubilee Dawn:

- @Jubileedawns on Tiktok, Instagram, & Youtube

- The Healed-ish Podcast on Spotify

In this episode, I talk with psychologist and author Hillary McBride about her powerful book Holy Hurt. We explore what spiritual trauma really is, how it shows up in our bodies and beliefs, and what healing can look like.

We also talk openly about my own past as a pastor—how I once taught things that caused harm—and why I believe it’s so important to have these honest, healing conversations now.

Topics We Cover

• What makes something “spiritual trauma”
• Why it’s so hard to name trauma that’s systemic, not just event-based
• The cost of being told you're broken at the core
• How our bodies remember what our minds try to forget
• The difference between real healing and spiritual bypassing
• What leaders and former leaders can do when they realize they’ve hurt others
• Hope for anyone starting to rebuild after religious pain

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  About Hillary McBride

  Dr. Hillary McBride is a therapist, researcher, and author who specializes in trauma, spirituality, and the mind-body connection. Her book Holy Hurt helps readers name and heal from the spiritual wounds many carry but struggle to describe.

  Website

  Instagram

  
  

  Special Event

  Josh and Hillary are doing a live event on June 26, 2025 in Abbotsford, BC, called Healing After Spiritual Trauma. Get tickets to this unique conversation and gathering. All proceeds will be donated to Fresh Bread, a charity dedicated to breaking down barriers in access to qualified caring therapists.

  
  

  About Clear & Loud

  Clear & Loud is hosted by Josh Harris—a writer, former pastor, and brand strategist. Through honest conversations and creative coaching, Josh helps people find clarity in the messiness of change. Learn more at clearandloud.com.

Freeman Voyles is a young Catholic writer, podcaster, and creator of Kneutrality, a platform where she blends traditional Catholic beliefs with fresh, sometimes provocative, cultural commentary. With her signature blend of sex appeal, sacred conviction, and aesthetic honesty, Freeman is reimagining what modesty, sensuality, and spirituality can look like, especially for Gen Z.

Conversation highlights:

• Why she named her platform Kneutrality and what it actually means

• Her journey out of MAGA and why she dumped Trump

• How she uses Instagram to challenge both purity culture and performative modesty

• The tension between sensuality and lust, and why she believes there’s a sacred space for one and not the other

• Her vision for a world of “more sensuality, less sex”

About Freeman Voyles:
Freeman is a Catholic writer, podcaster, and creator of Kneutrality — a space for faith, culture, and sexuality rooted in honesty, beauty, and bold devotion. Through content, liturgical journals, and her podcast, she’s helping young adults live boldly for God and think critically about the messages they’ve inherited.

Connect with Freeman:

• Kneutrality website
• Instagram @kneutrality
• Liturgical Planner

About Clear & LoudClear & Loud is the coaching and creative consultancy of Josh Harris. Through one-on-one coaching and brand strategy work, Josh helps individuals and organizations find clarity in the messiness: clarity of message, purpose, and direction. Whether you’re navigating a major life shift or building a brand that reflects your evolving story, Clear & Loud offers practical tools, thoughtful guidance, and engaging storytelling. Learn more at www.clearandloud.com.

In this episode, Britt Hartley shares her journey from a deeply religious upbringing to becoming an atheist spiritual director, exploring what it means to find purpose, meaning, and inner peace outside of traditional faith. With a background in theology, Britt brings a unique perspective on how to navigate life’s biggest questions without relying on religious frameworks. Together, we dive into her approach to secular spirituality, where she guides others through deconstructing old beliefs and building lives rooted in authenticity and personal values. Join us as we unpack her transformative insights on rethinking spirituality, free from dogma.

Topics Covered:

• Britt’s journey from religion to secular spirituality and how it shaped her approach to spiritual direction
• Understanding the three main paths for interpreting life—Religion, Occult, and Science—and exploring the strengths and pitfalls of each
• The impact of cognitive biases on our beliefs and why we’re often so certain of our personal “truths”
• Practical steps for crafting a life of meaning and purpose beyond religious structures
• Tools and rituals for navigating existential crises, building identity, and cultivating a grounded, secular sense of spirituality

About Britt Hartley:
Britt Hartley is an atheist spiritual director with a master’s degree in theology and a focus on the future of American religion. She is the author of No Nonsense Spirituality, a bestselling Amazon book that brings a clear, grounded approach to finding meaning and purpose beyond religious belief. Britt’s work centers on secular spirituality and tools for navigating existential crises.

Connect with Britt

• Website: nononsensespirituality.com
• TikTok
• Instagram

In this episode of Clear & Loud, we dive into the extraordinary story behind the documentary "Mom & Dad's Nipple Factory" with Emmy-winning filmmaker Justinsuperstar. This isn't just a tale about an unusual family business – it's a powerful love story that spans four decades and touches on faith, identity, and the impact of breast cancer on families and communities.

Interview Highlights:

• The genesis of the nipple factory: How Brian's devotion to his wife Randi led to an unexpected innovation

• Growing up in a conservative Christian household and Justin's journey of faith

• The challenges and revelations of filming deeply personal family moments

• How the nipple business transformed family dynamics and sparked important conversations about body image and sexuality

  
  

About Justinsuperstar:

Justinsuperstar is an Emmy-winning filmmaker with over two decades of experience creating popular web content. His work has been featured on major television networks and viewed hundreds of millions of times online. With "Mom & Dad's Nipple Factory," Justin beautifully captures his parents' love story while exploring the broader impact of breast cancer on family, community, and society at large.

Watch the Film:

Visit www.nipplefactoryfilm.com for links to Amazon Prime, Apple TV, Fandango at Home, Google Play, and more.

Don't forget to leave a review and share this powerful documentary with others!

In this episode, we dive into the world of reinvention with Lisa McGuire, a reinvention strategist. Lisa shares her journey from corporate life to helping people align their purpose with their paycheck. If you've ever felt stuck in a job that doesn't resonate with who you are, or you're curious about how to align your work with your true self, this conversation is for you. Tune in to explore the challenges of shifting from corporate to entrepreneurship, and learn how to build a fulfilling career that reflects your unique gifts and talents.

Interview Highlights:

• Lisa’s journey from the corporate world to becoming a reinvention strategist

• The concept of aligning your purpose with your paycheck

• Challenges of shifting from corporate life to entrepreneurship

• How to discover and align your true self with your work

Bio: Lisa McGuire is a fractional CMO and reinvention strategist who helps individuals and businesses discover their true selves and align their purpose with their paycheck. With a background in corporate and education, Lisa now focuses on helping others build fulfilling careers that reflect their unique gifts and talents. She is passionate about identity, human design, and navigating the challenges of transitioning from corporate to entrepreneurship.

Connect with her at:

Website

LinkedIN

Instagram