Collaborative Divorce: A Healthier Wayfor Families to Separate

Divorce is one of the hardest transitions a family can go through. Butwhat if the process itself didn’t have to create more conflict?

In this episode, Katie and Meagan talk about Collaborative Divorce—anapproach designed to help families separate with more support, less conflict,and a stronger focus on children’s wellbeing.

Katie shares a funny story from the recent Collaborative Divorce Texas Spring Conference before the conversation shifts into an honest and practical look at how the collaborative model works—and why it can make such a meaningfuldifference for families.

Together, they unpack the roles that support families in this process, including the mental health professional, child specialist, and financial neutral, and explain how these professionals work alongside attorneys tohelp parents move through divorce thoughtfully and intentionally.

If you’re a parent navigating divorce—or you know someone who is—this conversation offers a hopeful look at how families can restructure in a waythat protects kids and preserves dignity.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

1. What Collaborative Divorce is and why it's different from litigation

2. Why conflict - not divorce itself - is what most impacts children

3. The role of the mental health professional in supporting parents through the process

4. What a child specialist does and why giving kids a "voice, not a vote can be so powerful

5. Why children often want equal time with both parents

6. How Collaborative teams help families create healthier parenting plans from the start.

7. How this process helps parents stay regulated so they can make thoughtful decisions

8. Why Collaborative Divorce often leads to better long term coparenting relationships

Key Takeaway

Research consistently shows that divorce itself does not harmchildren—conflict does.

The collaborative process is designed to reduce conflict, increasesupport, and give families the tools they need to build two healthy homes.

Who This Episode Is For

This episode is especially helpful for:

1. Parents considering divorce

2. Couples wanting a lower-conflict separation process.

3. Professionals working with families in transition

4. Anyone who wants to understand how divorce can be handled in a more thoughtful, child-centered way.

Resources & Links

If you're interested in learning more about Collaborative Divorce or connecting with professionals trained in this model, check out Collaborative Divorce Texas or the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.

You can also reach out to Katie for an initial consultation to explore whether this approach may be a good fit for your family.

Feeling stretched thin, touched out, or just plain exhausted? You’re not alone—and you’re not failing.

In this episode, we’re talking about how connection with your kids doesn’t have to be big, elaborate, or time-consuming. Instead, it’s built in small, meaningful “micro moments” that add up over time.

We’ll share simple, realistic ways to stay connected—even on your hardest days—so you can support your kids without depleting yourself.

Summer planning is stressful for any parent… and coordinating it across two homes can feel like a whole extra job. In today’s episode, Katie and Meagan kick off a month focused on parenting after divorce with one of the biggest (and hardest) moments: telling your kids your family is changing.

If you’re in the early stages of separation, contemplating divorce, or already moving toward two homes — this conversation is for you. We walk through when to tell your kids, where to have the conversation, what to say (and what NOT to say), and how to support them in the days and weeks after.

Our goal is simple: give you a plan, reduce the fear, and offer hope. This can be done in a way that protects your kids and builds a steady foundation for what comes next.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why summer planning can highlight the stress (and opportunity) of co-parenting well

• The core message kids need most: “We are all going to be okay.”

• When to tell your kids (and why “too early” can create anxiety)

• The importance of a planned conversation (not in the car, not in the middle of chaos)

• Why kids can’t hold two “truths” from two parents — and how to create one shared story

• How to handle common reactions: anger, shutdown, “fine,” tears, and a LOT of questions

• How to protect your kids without pretending it isn’t sad

• The difference between being human (teary) vs. emotionally unloading on your child

  The 7 “Must Tell” Messages (save these!)

1. We will always be a family — just a different kind of family.

2. We know this doesn’t feel okay right now, but we will all be okay.
   (Optional add-on if both parents can truthfully say it: “We believe this is for the best.”)

3. We will always love you, and nothing can change that.

4. We will always be your parents. Mom will always be your mom. Dad will always be your dad.

5. This is not your fault.

6. This is a grown-up decision between a husband and a wife. It is final and will not change.

7. Some things will change, and lots of things will stay the same. One change is you’ll have two homes.

   
   

   A few key reminders:

• Avoid sharing adult details, blame, legal/financial stress, or emotional venting.

• Choose a day with unstructured time afterward so you can respond to what your kids need.

• Avoid birthdays/holidays so that date doesn’t become a yearly emotional marker.

If this episode helped you, share it with a friend who needs it — and if you’re in this season, we’re sending you so much encouragement. You can do hard things.

Talking about death with kids can feel overwhelming.
What if I say the wrong thing?
What if I make it worse?
What if I scare them?

In this episode of But the Years Are Short, Meagan and Katie walk through how to help kids understand death and grief in developmentally appropriate ways — without panic, pressure, or perfect language.

We normalize why kids (especially ages 6–8) suddenly become obsessed with questions about death, how their brains are developing, and what they’re actually looking for when they ask those big questions.

We also talk about:

• Why kids make up their own stories if we don’t give them one

• How to create a “family story” about death

• What language to avoid (and why)

• How to respond when your child worries about you dying

• What healthy grief looks like over time

• When to seek extra support

• How to hold your child’s grief while you’re grieving too

And maybe most importantly:
It’s not perfect wording that heals. It’s connection.

🧠 Key Takeaways

• Kids are naturally egocentric — if they don’t understand something, they fill in the blanks (and often blame themselves).

• Ages 6–8 is when children begin to understand the permanence of death — questions increase during this stage.

• Avoid vague phrases like “went to sleep” or “we lost them.”

• Be honest, concrete, and developmentally appropriate.

• Grief isn’t just about death — it also shows up in divorce, moves, illness, and big life changes.

• Frequency and intensity of distress should decrease over time — if not, consider additional support.

  Your kids feelings aren't yours to fix, and your feelings aren't THEIRS to fix.

• 
  

  💬 Helpful Scripts

• • “That makes sense. You’re having a lot of feelings.”

  • “It’s okay to ask that question again.”

  • “I don’t have all the answers, but we can talk about it together.”

  • “My feelings are my job. Your job is to be a kid.”

  If this episode helped you, share it with a friend who might need it.
  And remember: the goal isn’t perfect answers — it’s being a safe place.

  
  

In this episode, Katie and Meagan kick things off with a very on-brand smoke-alarm saga before diving into a topic so many parents wrestle with: the difference between privacy and secrecy. We talk through what privacy can actually look like for kids—especially in a world where social media is basically a third parent—and how to balance staying in the loop without hovering.

We also get into the everyday stuff, like giving kids space in their rooms (and yes, even their disaster-zone cars) while still holding boundaries that keep everyone safe. At the heart of it all is trust, connection, and learning how to respect each other’s worlds while living under the same roof.

Takeaways

• Katie shares a funny story about her smoke alarm.
• Meagan explains the difference between privacy and secrecy.
• Privacy is essential for healthy relationships.
• Parents should monitor social media use carefully.
• It's important to teach kids about boundaries.
• Checking kids' phones should be intentional and not intrusive.
• Respecting personal space is crucial for trust.
• Kids should not lock their bedroom doors.
• Communication is key to understanding kids' needs.
• Parents should guide kids in managing their online presence.

For children's counseling and parenting:

https://meaganjacksoncounseling.com/

Episode Summary

Conflict is normal — in families, friendships, marriages, and yes… even at the paint counter when Texas is “snowed in.” In this episode, Katie and Meagan talk about why repair after conflict matters more than parenting perfectly. They break down a simple repair framework, talk about why repair can feel hard (hello shame + fear of losing authority), and share practical ways to repair with your kids and teach kids how to repair with others.

If you’ve ever snapped, shut down, or felt the urge to “move on” without circling back — this one’s for you.

Emotional Clutter + The Mental Load Detox

Ever feel completely exhausted… but you can’t point to one big reason why?

In this episode, Katie and Meagan talk about emotional clutter — the invisible weight of unprocessed feelings, constant background stress, and mental load that builds up over time. Not because you’re failing, but because you’re doing a lot — often for everyone else.

This conversation isn’t about fixing your whole life or getting more disciplined. It’s about slowing down, taking an honest inventory of what you’re carrying, and learning how to set some of it down — even temporarily.

We unpack:

• what emotional clutter actually looks like in real life

• signs you’re emotionally exhausted (even if you didn’t realize it)

• the difference between supporting your kids’ emotions and absorbing them

• why over-functioning can quietly lead to burnout

• how family systems are affected when one person carries everyone’s feelings

We also share practical tools for a mental load detox:

• taking an emotional inventory

• closing the “open tabs” in your brain

• naming the invisible work you’re doing

• giving yourself permission to rest, disappoint people, and do things well enough

If everything feels heavy right now, this episode is a reminder:
you don’t need a full reset — you may just need to stop carrying more than your share.

This week, instead of asking “What should I do next?” try asking:
“What can I set down?”

Restarts aren’t just a January thing — they happen all year long. Coming back from break, starting a new season, returning to school after summer, re-engaging after a friendship conflict… even just getting back into routine after life gets off track.

In this episode, Katie and Meagan talk about why restarts can feel so big for kids (and for adults, too). We unpack the anxiety that shows up with “unknowns,” what stress does to the brain and nervous system, and why kids may look irritable, shut down, or emotionally “bigger” during transitions.

We also talk about the parent side of it — that intense urge to fix it, solve it, and take the discomfort away. And why one of the most powerful things we can do is learn to hold the hard with them, without rescuing them from it.

You’ll walk away with practical tools to support your child through restarts:

• prepping and talking about the transition ahead of time

• helping kids visualize what’s coming

• breaking big things into small steps

• using simple lists/checklists to reduce overwhelm and power struggles

• and “tapes” to play in your own head when your kid’s stress activates yours

If you’re in a season of restarting — big or small — this episode is a reminder that progress isn’t always linear, and struggle doesn’t mean failure. Every restart is practice… and every time your child moves through something hard with support, they build the confidence: this is hard, and I can do it.