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But For Real

But For Real

By: Valerie Martin & Emerson Ryder
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About this listen

Welcome to But For Real: the podcast where all your swirling thoughts about mental health, pop culture, and how to human are blended into one delicious variety show, co-hosted by therapists Valerie Martin (resident elder millennial ✌️) and Emerson Ryder (resident Gen Z 🫶).Copyright 2025 Valerie Martin & Emerson Ryder Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Social Sciences
Episodes
  • The One About Hypnosis 🌀
    Dec 24 2025

    Ever tried hypnosis and thought, “Cool… nothing is happening,” while everyone else in the comments claims their soul left their body?

    Same.

    In this episode, we’re pulling hypnosis out of the movie version and into real life. No clucking like a chicken. No blacking out. No dramatic “going under.” Just an honest, funny, science-backed conversation about what hypnosis actually is, why it often feels subtle, and why your brain isn’t broken if you’re still aware of everything.

    We talk about blinking aggressively during guided sessions, noticing every swallow, wondering if you left the dryer running, and why all of that is way more normal than you’ve been led to believe. From stage hypnosis myths to clinical hypnotherapy reality, we break down what’s actually happening in your brain and nervous system when you’re in a trance state.

    This episode blends clinical insight, nervous system education, pop culture references, and variety-show chaos, because learning about mental health shouldn’t feel like homework.

    We cover:

    • What hypnosis really is (and what it definitely is not)
    • Why hypnosis often feels calm, subtle, and very awake
    • The myth of “going under” and where it came from
    • Why overthinkers, anxious minds, and neurodivergent brains are not bad at hypnosis
    • How hypnosis overlaps with meditation, NSDR, EMDR, and brainspotting
    • Why watching TV, driving on autopilot, or losing your keys is already a trance state
    • The difference between stage hypnosis, clinical hypnotherapy, and coaching-based hypnosis
    • When self-hypnosis can be helpful and when working with a trained practitioner matters
    • Why ethical practice and scope of care actually matter in this space

    We talk about:

    • 00:00 – New setup, unhinged hypotheticals, and stage hypnosis chaos
    • 03:15 – Why hypnosis fascinates us (and confuses everyone)
    • 06:05 – Listener question, “Why does hypnosis feel like nothing is happening?”
    • 09:10 – Am I not hypnotizable? Overthinking, awareness, and myth busting
    • 12:40 – What hypnosis actually is (clinical explanation without the snooze)
    • 16:30 – The brain science, trance states, and nervous system regulation
    • 20:10 – Why watching TV, driving, and losing your keys is already hypnosis
    • 23:15 – Stage hypnosis vs clinical hypnotherapy (and why movies lied)
    • 27:20 – Hypnosis, ADHD, anxiety, and neurodivergent brains
    • 31:05 – Self-hypnosis, YouTube videos, and what actually helps
    • 35:40 – When hypnosis is helpful (and when it needs clinical support)
    • 40:10 – Pain, gut health, IBS, and what the research actually shows
    • 44:30 – Common myths, fears, and losing control concerns
    • 48:20 – What hypnosis usually feels like (heavy, light, time distortion)
    • 52:10 – Why subtle doesn’t mean ineffective
    • 55:00 – Final thoughts, nervous system wisdom, and reframing “nothing happened”

    Connect with Us:

    • Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
    • But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
    • Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
    • The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
    • Val on IG: @valkaymartin
    • The Gaia Center website:
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    52 mins
  • How Music Helps You Heal 🎵❤️‍🩹
    Dec 10 2025

    Music is literally the soundtrack of our lives – and music can be incredibly healing when used in the right way. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson dive into the ins and outs of music therapy, how and why it works, and how you can start your own music therapy journey.

    This episode covers:

    • 04:12 - Tea & Crumpets: Virginia Giuffre’s memoir: Nobody’s Girl + Take Back Your Marriage by Bill Doherty
    • 09:47 - Step Into My Office: Could music therapy be right for me, even if I’m not “musical”?
    • 15:03 - The DSM: What Even Is Music Therapy?
    • 40:02 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
    • 43:34 - Val Pick: "Does Not Suffice" by Joanna Newsom
    • 46:40 - Em Pick: "29" by Demi Lovato
    • 47:11 - Wait...What? Is this gonna ruin the tour?
    • 49:01 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Fishing as an option for mental health treatment + A stray dog that turned into a service dog has just been crowned the 2025 Hero Dog Award by the American Humane Society!


    Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

    • Nobody's Girl by Virginia Roberts Giuffre
    • Take Back Your Marriage by Bill Doherty
    • American Music Therapy Association
    • How to find a certified MT-BC
    • Does Not Suffice by Joanna Newsom
    • 29 by Demi Lovato
    • Fishing as an option for mental health treatment
    • A stray dog that turned into a service dog has just been crowned the 2025 Hero Dog Award by the American Humane Society!


    Connect with Us:

    • Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
    • But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
    • Now That's...
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    56 mins
  • The Serious Person’s Guide To Getting Silly Again 🤪
    Nov 26 2025
    If you feel like adult life is just full of responsibilities, to-dos, meetings, and seriousness, you’re not alone. With busy schedules and the weight of the world, it’s easy to feel disconnected. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson explore the relationship we have as play as adults, why it’s actually integral to your well-being and how to start inviting in joy again 🫶This episode covers:03:17 - Tea & Crumpets: Freaky Friday + Freakier Friday and Emerson’s screen free sauna/steam Sunday routine07:08 - Step Into My Office: How can I get over the fear of looking stupid so that I can find fun?12:57 - The DSM: The Serious Person’s Guide To Getting Silly Again36:33 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAY!38:11 - Em Pick: "Girl of Your Dreams" by Eli39:19 - Val Pick: "H.Y.C.Y.BH?" by Tom Cardy39:37 - Wait...What? - WTF does 67 mean?42:52 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Tiffany Haddish’s She Ready Foundation + Henry the 1200 lb polar bear eating a giant pumpkinResources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:Why We Play Jack PankseppEli, pop’s new stage girl, is living her teenage dream | The FADER"Girl of Your Dreams" by Eli"H.Y.C.Y.BH?" by Tom CardyTiffany Haddish’s She Ready FoundationHenry the 1200 lb polar bearConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized...
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    48 mins
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