This week, I read a letter from a listener who’s been no contact with her mother for two years - but still feels like she’s living with her shadow.

Every bark of the dog, every knock at the door, sends her body into high alert. Even something as simple as checking the mailbox feels dangerous.

Myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan will explore what it’s like when no contact doesn’t bring peace, and how our nervous system can become stuck in fight/flight - especially when the person we’re protecting ourselves from once felt impossible to escape.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Question - "I'm never going to find her easy but how do I regulate after exposure to her?"

In this episode, we hear from a listener - an only child - who has spent a lifetime navigating exhaustion, guilt, and confusion in her relationship with her aging mother.

Her mother calls her “my everything,” professes deep love, yet never asks about her life or family. Instead, she elicits promises, plays the victim, uses guilt to control, and bends the truth to suit her narrative.

For this listener, going no contact isn’t an option. So she’s learning to hold firmer boundaries — limiting visits, stepping back from constant caretaking, and seeing the manipulation for what it is — but still battles the heavy weight of guilt and self-doubt: “Am I being too harsh?”

With growing self-awareness and hard-won clarity, she asks a powerful question: "How do I regulate better when with her - and after?"

Together, Ruth and I explore how to stay grounded in contact with a narcissistic parent, how to recover from the emotional crash afterward, and how true healing often means redefining love, responsibility, and self-worth on your own terms.

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www.callaghancounselling.ie

BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

This week, we read a powerful letter from a listener whoasks myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan the question: "How do I decide whether or not to go no contact? I can't seem to spend time with them that doesn't involve drama?"

The listener describes growing up with a mum who seemed caring on the surface — "never shouting, just nagging, crying and hounding me, until she gets her own way" — and a dad who told her to “keep the peace.”

Now, as a mother herself, every attempt to set a healthy boundary is met with guilt, tears, and emotional pressure.

In this episode, we explore what it’s like when love comes with strings attached, how emotional manipulation can hide behind the illusion of softness, and the painful process of deciding whether connection is still possible — or whether protecting yourself means finally walking away.

Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on TikTok

Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on Instagram

Follow Dr. Ruth Callaghan on YouTube

www.callaghancounselling.ie

BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast