Episodes

  • Ep. 11: The Very Thirsty Caterpillar with Phoebe Robinson

    Ep. 11: The Very Thirsty Caterpillar with Phoebe Robinson
    Nov 14 2017

    [Contains explicit content] Phoebe Robinson performs "The Thirsty Caterpillar," a modern-day tale of what happens when the desire for fame goes too far. Written by Guy Branum, this story features a larval creature desperate for internet attention and documents her exploits as she transforms into a social butterfly.
    Show More Show Less
    10 mins
  • Ep. 8: The Turtle and the Rabbit with Tommy Chong

    Ep. 8: The Turtle and the Rabbit with Tommy Chong
    Nov 14 2017
    [Contains explicit content] Tommy Chong lends his voice to the retelling of Aesop's classic fable, "The Tortoise and the Hare." Our version, written by Matt Lieb, features some familiar elements--like the race--but our animals live in a hippie co-op, where sometimes a race isn't about, like, racing. Right, man?
    Show More Show Less
    10 mins
  • Ep. 4: Heinz Linge and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day With David Spade

    Ep. 4: Heinz Linge and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day With David Spade
    Nov 14 2017
    [Contains explicit content] Things started going bad for Heinz Linge the moment he woke up with gum in his hair. When the day ended, Hitler was dead and Heinz was mopping the floor. As they say, one man's day of victory and liberation is another man's day of rejection by his genocidal dictator best friend.
    Show More Show Less
    8 mins
  • Ep. 2: Daddies With John O'Hurley

    Ep. 2: Daddies With John O'Hurley
    Nov 14 2017
    [Contains explicit content] Once upon a time, men had purpose. They were the bacon-winners. They brought home the bread. Their jobs were important and meaningful. But the times, they are a changing. For tonight's edition of Bedtime Stories for Cynics, John O'Hurley teaches the youth about all the important "jobs" that daddies do in these modern times.
    Show More Show Less
    9 mins
  • Ep. 1: Goodnight Ambien With Wyatt Cenac

    Ep. 1: Goodnight Ambien With Wyatt Cenac
    Nov 14 2017
    [Contains explicit content] If children's literature is any guide, we should all be able to magically fall asleep simply by saying goodnight to the things we can see from our beds. But any adult knows that our work anxieties and shameful memories would rather stay up all night and chat. Which is why the only viable bedtime routine for weary adults involves a healthy dose of medication.
    Show More Show Less
    7 mins
  • Ep. 10: Open House With Tony Hale

    Ep. 10: Open House With Tony Hale
    Nov 14 2017
    [Contains explicit content] House shopping can be scary for buyers and sellers alike. Especially if you're touring a house haunted by a history of failed relationships, and your realtor is a creepy Tony Hale.
    Show More Show Less
    8 mins
  • Ep. 7: Todd the Dragon Slayer with Lewis Black

    Ep. 7: Todd the Dragon Slayer with Lewis Black
    Nov 14 2017
    [Contains explicit content] The fiery Lewis Black tells an original story by Dave Hill called "Todd the Dragon Slayer." As you can probably guess, it features a dragon. And a guy named Todd. It's totally awesome.
    Show More Show Less
    8 mins
  • Ep. 5: The Frog Prince with Patton Oswalt

    Ep. 5: The Frog Prince with Patton Oswalt
    Nov 14 2017

    [Contains explicit content] Patton Oswalt performs an adaptation of the Brothers Grimm classic, “The Frog Prince.” Ours has all the usual ingredients—a frog, a princess, and a touch of magic—but with a few extra elements, like gastrointestinal disorders, classy nicknames, and gratuitous male nudity.
    Show More Show Less
    9 mins