• May 2025 Horoscopes: Hot Taurus Summer
    May 19 2025

    IT’S TAURUS SEASON!!!!

    Which means that it’s birthday time for Laura, the pod’s very own magnificent Taurus! As usual, Taurus is the celestial favorite (or maybe just Susan’s favorite). In fact, all of the signs have wonderful things awaiting them if they can just make it to the flawless new moon on May 26.


    Laura begins the episode by telling Alex that she gave herself a birthday present, and it’s none other than Susan’s premium app! It only took almost twenty years, but one of the gals finally bought something from Susan Miller Business Woman. Stay tuned to find out if the premium app changes Laura’s life.


    Next the gals recap Susan’s Note, which contains far too much astrology and not nearly enough personal updates. Susan also explains that she didn’t write her famous Year Ahead this year; apparently the first half of 2025 was so terrible that she feared the book would be too much of a bummer. Based on Susan’s history of not delivering this book in a timely fashion, Laura and Alex suspect there may have been other reasons she didn’t write it.


    The horoscopes are up next. Laura begins by telling her fellow Taurus babies that fighting planets will make things tricky at the start of May, but they should get excited for the stunning new moon at the end of the month. This new moon is so incredible that Susan can’t even find the words to describe how amazing life will be after May 26 (although of course she tries!). Alex then tells Scorpio that their struggles are coming to end and to look out for money that could be coming their way through any number of channels.


    Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:


    Note from Susan Miller: 12:18

    Taurus: 20:27

    Scorpio: 31:29


    Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


    Links:


    • Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
    • Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com


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    44 mins
  • April 2025 Horoscopes: Jumpin’ and Jivin’
    Apr 22 2025

    IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, ARIES!!!!

    And Susan Miller says you can expect good news throughout your birthday month! However, you may want to put on your beekeeper suit just to be safe because everyone should be ready to enter the prickly briar patch and weather cosmic storms.


    Laura and Alex begin with a recap of Susan’s Note, and it is all business: astrology business and Susan Miller business. There are so many planets changing signs right now that Susan cannot get distracted by tales of her health or apartment rental but instead must focus on the stars. Of course, though, there’s always time for a little discounted calendar plug.


    Next the gals wish Aries a very happy birthday! Neptune is in Aries for the first time since 1861, and it is a BIG DEAL. All of this planetary commotion and activity means good things for Aries. Just don’t get fooled by Neptune’s veil, which can lead to obfuscation and confusion. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, Aries!


    Then Laura tells Taurus that April is a great time of review and reflection before all of the planets that have been retrograding regain their full strength and things really get going in May. Also, Taurus should be aware that Pluto and Mars are bickering, which could lead to problems. Let’s just say that Susan has an interesting idea for how to deal with this. Finally, Alex tells Scorpio to keep their schedules light during April. And she passes on Susan’s repeated warning that they must take care of their health!


    Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:


    Note from Susan Miller: 2:30

    Aries: 6:10

    Taurus: 23:25

    Scorpio: 33:20


    Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


    Links:


    • Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
    • Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com


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    50 mins
  • March 2025 Horoscopes: Somethings Ends and Something Begins
    Mar 15 2025

    IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, PISCES!!!!

    This month is absolutely full of planets planeting. There are retrogrades, eclipses, trines, sextiles, and anything else one might want (or not want) from the universe.


    The episode begins with a recap of Laura and Alex’s Valentine’s Day. The gals listened closely last month when Susan Miller warned that the day could be trouble, but they planned a festive night filled with Dolly Parton and a prix fixe menu anyway. And going with the planetary flow, as Susan suggested, paid off!


    Next Laura describes how she was “embezzled” last month (translation: Susan got something right). Susan accurately predicted that Taurus would take a short trip and meet interesting people, and Laura did just that! A true embezzlement success. Then it’s time to discuss Susan’s Note, which includes the recommendation of two books that appear to have nothing to do with astrology. Susan’s collaborations are often a mystery, but the gals have some theories.


    Then it’s time for the horoscopes. Laura and Alex let Pisces know about the many planets that have gathered for their birthday. With this crowd of heavenly bodies in their orbit, Pisces are simply too blessed to be stressed. Alex then tells the Scorps that they’ll need to wait a little longer before things really get going this year, and she introduces the listeners to Susan Miller Career Coach. Finally, Laura tells Taurus that they are the darlings of the cosmos (yet again!) and can expect lots of attention from VIPs and money, money, money.


    Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:


    Embezzlement Update: 5:27

    Note from Susan Miller: 7:39

    Pisces: 21:43

    Scorpio: 34:43

    Taurus: 50:09


    Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


    Links:


    • Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
    • Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com


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    1 hr and 4 mins
  • February 2025 Horoscopes: Jumpin', Jumpin'
    Feb 18 2025

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AQUARIUS!!!!

    We made it to February, a month with two new moons (sort of) and a challenging full moon. For better or worse, all the signs are in it together this month, and Susan Miller is here to advise on how to wrestle the full moon dragons to the ground.


    The gals kick off the episode with the Embezzlement Update. Were any of Susan’s predictions in January accurate? Fortunately for Laura, they were, and she shares all about her latest book, which has garnered the attention of VIPs. Then Laura and Alex implore Susan (yet again!) to produce some lowbrow merch, which they would love to buy, despite the fact that neither of them wants to pay the few extra dollars for Astrology Zone’s premium app.


    The episode continues with a discussion of the Note, which is surprisingly full of astrology. Also included this month is a transcript from Susan’s hectic life, which Laura and Alex perform as a dramatic reading. Through this vignette, we learn about Valerie, the never-before-mentioned assistant! (Call us, Val, if we can help with the merch. We have ideas!)


    Next the gals recap the horoscopes. Unfortunately, because the difficult full moon appears so close to Valentine’s Day, Susan recommends putting off all festivities and celebrating later in the month. More positively, Laura and Alex tell Aquarius about all the fun activities that the planets are doing in their honor. Finally, they fill Taurus and Scorpio in on what to expect this February.


    Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:


    Embezzlement Update: 01:45

    Note from Susan Miller: 11:32

    Aquarius: 24:55

    Taurus: 35:36

    Scorpio: 43:25


    Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


    Links:


    • Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
    • Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com


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    58 mins
  • January 2025 Horoscopes: It’s Just January
    Jan 25 2025

    HAPPY CAPRICORN SEASON!!!!

    And Happy New Year! Laura and Alex are back for the fifth year of the podcast after dutifully following Susan Miller’s instructions in January 2021 to create a show. Little did Susan know that it would be all about her!


    The episode begins with the Embezzlement Update: Laura tells the listeners about her exciting embezzlement (translation: Susan correctly predicted something last month), which took the form of a visit to a volcano while she was home for the holidays. Next up is Susan’s Note and it’s a doozy. The gals share Susan’s explanation for posting the horoscopes late this month, which sadly includes both accident and illness. Fortunately Susan is still able to tell us about her upcoming appearances and where to buy her calendar, which leads Laura and Alex to hatch a plan that could circumvent shipping charges for all.


    Next the gals dive into January’s horoscopes. All of the signs will experience a slow start to the year due to Mars retrograde. Susan tells Capricorn to focus on themselves this month and to get some work done on a creative project, such as a podcast! Then Alex tells Scorpio that this month is all about career. Susan even issues a stern warning to them about when they must not go on vacation, lest they be distracted from career success. Finally, Laura informs Taurus about the absolutely glorious new moon that arrives at the end of January and provides a very important Cupid Weather Alert.


    Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:


    Embezzlement Update: 2:43

    Note from Susan Miller: 11:28

    Capricorn: 20:47

    Scorpio: 29:05

    Taurus: 36:15


    Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


    Links:


    • Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
    • Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

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    48 mins
  • December 2024 Horoscopes: Astrological Emergencies??
    Dec 17 2024

    IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, SAGITTARIUS!!!!

    Despite multiple planets retrograding this December, Sagittarius should have a wonderful birthday month. They can even expect some international travel! Or at the very least, some international FedEx shipments.

    This month, the gals have embezzlement updates to share, as well as a hot take from a commenter on social media. And there’s a lot of information in Susan’s Note to her readers, including her holiday plans, recent illnesses, and descriptions of many upcoming appearances. If any listeners in New York belong to Zero Bond, please invite us to Susan’s event! Or if anyone attended her most recent Discord AMA and learned what an astrological emergency is, the gals would appreciate that information, as well.


    Then Laura and Alex break down the December horoscopes, beginning with this month’s birthday sign, Sagittarius. Unfortunately, both Mercury and Mars are retrograding this month, so be prepared for things to move slowly. Venus will retrograde, too, so don’t even think about getting Botox until that’s over. Next Laura shares that Taurus may have the opportunity to travel this month or perhaps to participate in the import/export of ideas! And Alex tells Scorpio that VIPs will notice their work this month, which could result in a promotion or bonus.


    Finally, the gals want to thank everyone for listening this year! See you in 2025!


    Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:


    Note from Susan Miller: 09:38

    Embezzlement Update/Hot Take: 03:48

    Sagittarius: 24:30

    Taurus: 36:00

    Scorpio: 42:45


    Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


    Links:


    • Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
    • Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

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    55 mins
  • November 2024 Horoscopes: Big Guy Planets
    Nov 24 2024

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCORPIO!!!!

    Enjoy November, Scorps! In a special twist, there are two full moons this month and Susan Miller believes that Scorpio will enjoy both of them.


    Laura kicks off this episode with a tale of finding treasure in the wild. In this case, the treasure is the 2025 Astrology Zone calendar and the wild is a boutique in Cold Spring, NY! The gals then have a discussion about Susan’s election-related content. Despite the fact that Susan tends not to make predictions about current events (and she made no exception for the election), there is plenty to chat about regardless.


    Next Laura and Alex recap Susan’s Note to her readers, in which Susan explains why the horoscopes were late: she went to China! Despite Susan explaining otherwise, the forecasts this month are a bit abbreviated, but that’s the trade-off for being introduced to Susan Miller Traveler. And while the trip did delay the horoscopes, there is, of course, more to the story, including a respiratory illness and even more stress related to her move.


    Alex then tells her fellow Scorpios what they can expect during their birthday month, such as money and the adoration of VIPs! The Scorps should also watch out for strange behavior from their partners, be they spouses, colleagues, or, as Laura surmises, Parcheesi partners. Laura then fills Taurus in on everything they need to know for November. They too must keep an eye on their partners and should consider doing their holiday shopping early to avoid complications caused by the many planets that are about to retrograde.


    Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:


    Note from Susan Miller: 8:37

    Scorpio: 20:19

    Taurus: 32:50


    Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


    Links:


    • Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
    • Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

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    45 mins
  • October 2024 Horoscopes: A Planetary Food Fight
    Oct 15 2024

    HAPPY LIBRA SEASON!!!

    According to Susan Miller, October is going to be a great month for Libra. So get out there, rack up some achievements, and be a money magnet before a bunch of planets retrograde. For better or worse, the planets are planeting big time right now.

    The episode starts with a discussion of Wordle strategies and Laura’s recent travels. But there’s no time to waste on chit chat, because Susan has written yet another Note that details her move and all of her related feelings on the subject. Suffice it to say, Susan is struggling with the emotions that the move has brought up. However, she also tells us that there is asbestos in her apartment, so a temporary relocation may not be the worst thing, especially considering Susan’s fragile health.


    Next up, Laura and Alex recap the horoscopes. A golden triangle appears in the first half of this month and its position in Libra’s chart could mean career advancement. But watch out for planetary food fights! Laura then explains to Taurus that the October full moon may bring out secrets. Taureans must also pay attention to their physical health this month and potentially begin psychotherapy. Finally, Alex recaps the Scorpio forecast and shares the very important message from Susan that October 2024 is going to be a cutthroat year for Halloween costume competitions. So if you’re attending a party, Scorps, step up your game!


    Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:


    Note from Susan Miller: 6:30

    Libra: 13:33

    Taurus: 24:30

    Scorpio: 32:50


    Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


    Links:


    • Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
    • Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

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    47 mins