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After the Affair

After the Affair

By: Luke Shillings
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About this listen

The ‘After the affair’ podcast with Luke Shillings is here to help you process, decide, and move forward on purpose following infidelity. Let’s explore what’s required to rebuild trust not only in yourself, but also with others. Whether you stay or leave, I can help! and no matter what your story, there will be something here for you.Copyright 2023 All rights reserved. Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 161. Workplace Affairs: Why They Happen and How to Heal When They Do
    Oct 22 2025

    Work is supposed to be a place of focus, structure, and shared goals, not secrecy and heartbreak.

    Yet, for many couples, the workplace becomes the unexpected setting for infidelity.

    In this episode, Luke explores why workplace affairs are so common, how emotional connections can quietly blur into something deeper, and what both partners can do when the affair partner still works in the same environment.

    You’ll learn how proximity, power, and emotional displacement create conditions for connection, and how awareness, honesty, and intentional healing can turn even the most triggering situation into an opportunity for growth.

    Key Takeaways
    • Workplace affairs rarely start with attraction. They often begin with emotional connection, validation, empathy, and shared stress that slowly cross invisible boundaries.
    • Proximity and permission create risk. Daily collaboration, late nights, and private communication can normalise intimacy that feels justified as “just work.”
    • Warning signs appear long before discovery. Emotional secrecy, defensiveness, and subtle boundary shifts are often early indicators of displaced energy.
    • When the affair partner still works there, safety becomes the priority. Rebuilding trust means removing ambiguity, not enforcing control. Transparency and consistent behaviour restore stability over time.
    • Healing is possible, even when the environment can’t change. It begins by creating safety within yourself, not waiting for perfect circumstances.
    Dealing with this alone?

    If you’re living in the aftermath of betrayal, especially when contact or reminders still exist, you don’t have to navigate this alone.

    Through 1:1 coaching and The After the Affair Collective, Luke helps individuals move from surviving to rebuilding, with clarity, calm, and confidence.

    Because healing isn’t about returning to who you were… it’s about becoming who you were always meant to be.

    Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

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    28 mins
  • 160. The Problem with Using Ai to Heal Your Heart After Betrayal
    Oct 15 2025

    AI can answer your questions, offer reassurance, even write the perfect breakup text. But can it really help you heal after betrayal?

    In this episode, Luke explores the growing use of AI tools in emotional recovery, from journaling and reflection to replacing genuine connection, and asks an important question: What happens when your search for healing turns into another form of avoidance?

    Luke unpacks:

    • Why we turn to AI when we’re hurting
    • The difference between reflection and relationship
    • How AI can support clarity, but not replace connection
    • The subtle danger of outsourcing your inner voice
    • How to use AI consciously, without losing your sense of self

    Because real healing still begins where it always has, within you.

    Key Takeaways:

    • AI can help you process thoughts, but it can’t meet emotional needs.
    • Healing requires human connection, not just understanding.
    • Be mindful of using AI to avoid feeling rather than explore feeling.
    • Technology is a tool, not a therapist.
    • Awareness is what keeps reflection from turning into dependency.

    Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

    Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

    Show More Show Less
    13 mins
  • 159. The Truth About Safety After Betrayal
    Oct 8 2025

    After infidelity, “safety” becomes the word we chase; - Emotional safety - Relational safety - Internal safety

    But what does that actually mean? And how do you build it when trust has been broken?

    In this episode, Luke explores the delicate balance between finding safety within yourself and rebuilding safety with your partner.

    Because healing isn’t about becoming immune to pain or pretending you don’t need anyone, it’s about knowing how to meet yourself when the pain comes, and recognising who’s capable of meeting you there too.

    In this episode, we’ll explore:

    • What “inner safety” really means (and what it doesn’t)
    • Why self-trust and relational trust are two sides of the same bridge
    • How to stop gaslighting yourself into accepting unsafe behaviour
    • The difference between chaos and connection
    • Why craving reassurance isn’t weakness, it’s wiring

    If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s possible to feel safe again, both within yourself and in a relationship that’s been shaken by betrayal, this episode is for you.

    Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

    Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

    Show More Show Less
    13 mins
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