The boyz discuss Planet of the Apes (1968).

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The boyz discuss The Lawnmower Man. 

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Excited and anxious I await my dream

To escape, applaud And embrace my team

Opening day I always can trust

It’s just for this high That I crazily lust

Return of our hero Does brighten the days

Just briefly, my troubles Get lost in the haze

The grace from the field Arouses the crowd

Reflects on the days When I was quite proud

I’m more entranced Than the average fan

I used to play, you see And I know I still can

That time I drove the ball With such loft

My exit atop shoulders As they carried me off

This pastime and I Just fade into one

Expanded upon From father and son

My boy is young And awkward for now

I just need the time And can show him how

I really am quite close Just a break away

From straightening things out And being okay

I can help my team To regain its glory

With just a little twist To the same old story

Players say now They play for themselves

This causes a burning Within me that dwells

The fan is the one Who pays for the game

Which bestows all the riches And welcomed fame

The players will listen But really don’t hear

All the while just hiding Behind an invisible tear

I grow tired now of all this greed

And chart a course to set things free

-Gil Renard

(THE FAN)

Ok ABZ Boyz and Girlz it's RONIN this week. What a goddamn treat! De Niro is fucking bringing it - was Stanger able to get past him not being sexy enough in this one? Will anybody be able to understand what the fuck Stanger's issue is with De Niro's sexiness? Well, sexiness aside this movie is a winner with an all-star cast, world class stunts and big boy car chases. The prefect movie to launch a series of remotely recorded episodes. Are there some bugs to still be worked out? Sure. Is there more talking over each other than ever? Maybe. But will this episode change the fucking world? You betcha. Remember ActionBabyz, even if the Boyz aren't in the same location to record, Val Verde is where ever you hang your gape gloves. 

Y'all better listen to this episode quick cause the Action Boyz are UNDER SIEGE and they, "got pies in the oven."  Also, did you know the 'Boyz are Cajun? Don't worry, it's of no consequence and it'll never come up again. Bottom line, the only thing standing between national security and Gary Busey in drag and Tommy Lee Jones doing Two-Face, is a cook. Good thing this cook is an ex-seal, with no muscle tone, who will strip down to a tank-top first chance he gets. Did we mention he's just a cook?

Thank Crom for Catwoman. Without her, BATMAN RETURNS would be mostly disgusting Penguin and his dumb plan. This movie also benefits from Christopher Walker's weird turn as Max Shreck, and Andrew Bryniarski's truly incredible performance as his son, Chip. The only bummer is that because the movie had so many press conferences in it (at least 18) there was not much time left for Batman in the final cut (less than 4 minutes). Enjoy the last week of Blockbustune, "meantime - the Boyz have badder fish to fry!"

Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE. Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment. And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line :extreme sly stallone voice: Who Knows?

Become one with the Action Boyz, they will be your eyes, strength and cunning for the time honored classic, Beastmaster. The Boyz marvel at the simplicity of the story, the LA actor/waiter "feel" that Marc Singer brings to the role of Dar, and the fact that probably EVERY animal was harmed during the making of this feature. So strip down, oil up and put on your eyeball ring cause Maax is killing kids and the Jun might be coming and you were born from a cow and some bird people are gonna save you and you save a slave girl and your dad's alive but he's blind and a bunch of other shit.

Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE. Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment. And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line :extreme sly stallone voice: Who Knows?

The ABz enter the small town of Jasper, which is located on some kind of small lake or river where everyone can see each other at all times, bouncers are like nationally known rock stars, and Gabrus is comforted by the amount of fat guys that populate it.  Road House is a masterpiece that follows the dramatic principle of Chekhov's Monster truck: if in the first act you introduce a monster truck, then in the following one it should run over the cars in the local dealership.

Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE. Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment. And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line Who Knows?