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When I Was Death

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When I Was Death

By: Alexis Henderson
Narrated by: Khaya Fraites
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Final Destination meets House of Hollow in this haunting and lyrical speculative horror about a group of girls doing Death’s bidding in exchange for preserving their own lives.


Roslyn Volk isn’t herself any more. It’s been almost a year since her older sister, Adeline, died under suspicious circumstances, and she’s still shackled by grief. When six mysterious girls appear in town one morning, Roslyn finds herself inexplicably drawn to them, soon learning that Adeline spent her last summer with the group.

Desperate to find out what really happened to her sister, Roslyn agrees to accompany the girls on their road trip. But this strange sisterhood share an inconceivable secret. All of them have been spared from Death’s clutches and now must pay for the privilege. Gifted with Death’s touch, the girls travel the country reaping other people's souls in return for preserving their own lives.

As Roslyn becomes more entangled with the girls, in particular the group's leader Shiloh who she gravitates towards, it becomes clear there is only one way to discover the truth about her sister. She must strike her own deal with Death . . .

‘The kind of story I wish I could experience for the first time all over again.’ Angela Montoya, author of A Cruel Thirst

Praise for When I Was Death:

‘Atmospheric and achingly lyrical. When I Was Death is a tale of untamed girlhood, defiant loyalty and a relentless search for truth.’ Sophie Clark, author of Cruel is the Light

‘Henderson’s hauntingly beautiful prose explores how girlhood and grief are often intertwined. I savoured every single page.’ Cynthia Murphy, author of Win Lose Kill Die

‘Hauntingly beautiful and equally heart-wrenching, When I Was Death explores love and loss in a way that both hurts and heals. Henderson has crafted an intimate, powerful and utterly unputdownable tale.’ Channelle Desamours, author of Needy Little Things

‘A searing portrayal of girlhood, at once sparkling and violently dark. When I Was Death is thrilling and wholly original.’ Goldy Moldavsky, author of The Last Girl

‘This is girlhood at its darkest and most glittering. When I Was Death is the culty road trip fantasy of your dreams. It's horror with heart, unafraid to explore the sharp edges of friendship and sisterhood.’ Maria Meservey, author of The Ironfell Inheritance

‘Henderson’s prose glows with honesty, her characters richly textured and utterly alive.’ Abby Dewsnup, author of Rabbit Heart

‘I couldn’t put it down! When I Was Death is brilliant from start to finish.’ Abiola Bello, author of Love in Winter Wonderland

‘A beautiful exploration of grief and girlhood. Five stars. I'll be haunted by this one for a long time.’ Beth Tomlin, author of To Hell With You

© Alexis Henderson 2026 (P) Penguin Audio 2026

Death & Dying Difficult Situations Family & Relationships Friendship Horror LGBTQ+ Literature & Fiction

Critic Reviews

‘Atmospheric and achingly lyrical, When I Was Death is a tale of untamed girlhood, defiant loyalty and a relentless search for truth that will defy Death himself.’
‘Honest, emotionally raw and brilliant, When I Was Death shattered my heart and rebuilt it into something new. Packed with gut-wrenching turns I never saw coming, it’s the kind of story I wish I could experience for the first time all over again.’
‘Alexis Henderson’s hauntingly beautiful prose explores how girlhood and grief are often intertwined. I savoured every single page.’
‘Hauntingly beautiful and equally heart-wrenching, When I Was Death explores love and loss in a way that both hurts and heals. Alexis Henderson has crafted an intimate, powerful and utterly unputdownable tale.’
‘A searing portrayal of girlhood, at once sparkling and violently dark. When I Was Death is thrilling and wholly original.’
‘This is girlhood at its darkest and most glittering. When I Was Death is the culty road trip fantasy of your dreams. It's horror with heart, unafraid to explore the sharp edges of friendship and sisterhood.’
‘In When I Was Death, girlhood bares its quiet ferocity. Henderson’s prose glows with memory and honesty, her characters richly textured and utterly alive. The story drifts through the relentless current of love and loss, tracing the sharp-toothed gaps grief leaves behind and the lengths one might go to fill them.’
‘I couldn’t put it down! When I Was Death is brilliant from start to finish.’
‘A beautiful exploration of grief and girlhood. 5 stars. I'll be haunted by this one for a long time.’
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