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Publisher's Summary

"If your relationship is so bad, why don't you just leave them?"

"If you were in such an abusive relationship, why did you stay with them for so long?"

"If you knew you were in a relationship with such a toxic person, why didn't you ask people for help?"

If you've ever been asked these questions, aside from being ignorant and hurtful, you'll know it's beyond frustrating. The answer to the above questions, whilst it's complex and often confusing, can be given with two words: trauma bonded. If you find you're in a relationship that you know is so toxic that it's crushing your very being, but you can't bring yourself to leave, you may be in the clutches of a tight trauma bond. 

If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. 

If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex. 

From my own personal experience and from the experiences other survivors have opened up to me about, this book will cover the following: 

  • What trauma bonding really is 
  • The seven stages that lead to you becoming trauma bonded 
  • The parallels that Stockholm syndrome has with trauma bonding 
  • The five stages you go through when you come to accept you're trauma bonded - the cognitive dissonance a trauma bond can cause 
  • Breaking free from the traumatic bond 

This book will also include my own experiences and I'll draw upon those to help you really understand trauma bonding, and let you know that you're not alone in being shackled by this emotionally crippling bond. More importantly, this book will help you understand that the invisible chain that tethers you to your abuser can be broken.

©2020 Escape The Narcissist (P)2020 Escape The Narcissist

What listeners say about Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship

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  • Nichole Hart
  • 26-10-2020

A Must Read

This was very helpful for me as I am in the beginning stages of leaving my abuser. I've been really struggling feeling like everything I was feeling was just "crazy" and that I was "overreacting" but this book has offered me some validation to what I've been feeling. I highly recommend this to anyone who is struggling with the idea of leaving a relationship full of emotional and/or physical/sexual abuse. You are not alone.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 26-09-2020

“It often takes 7x to leave a toxic ex..”

Very thought provoking and eye opening to the patterns and cycles of trauma bonding and narcissism in love relationships. Especially interesting was the point made that victims of narc abuse typically find themselves in denial about it, and want to protect the abuser, go to great lengths to defend them, when actually this is a clear symptom of the mental and emotional abuse that has been endured, and often reveals a chemical imbalance and obsessive unproductive thoughts that a victim falls prey to. I was amazed at the toxic patterns that were clarified. I really appreciate the audio book, it’s not long to get through and drops very helpful gems of advice that I can write down for further reference as I work to heal my own journey. I will probably listen to this audio book a few more times before I am completely healed and moved on. Even if your situation isn’t as severe as some of the stories mentioned, this book offers useful tools to help you avoid the red flags of a narcissist, and build healthy non-toxic relationships moving forward.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 10-09-2020

Enlightening

I learned so much from this book. It's been a year since I left my abuser and I was struggling with the aftermath of the relationship. I tried getting help from different sources, but this author really just described everything that went on and it was extremely helpful and relieving. I also loved the helpful tips to remember on the path to recovering from a narcissistic abuser and affirmations. Excited to listen to the second book. I really recommend this to others who have been struggling with the emotional conflict you feel storming inside of you.

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  • Frank
  • 08-09-2020

Nice, short, and heavy like a body building elf

It felt personal. I could have used this book last year when I.was in a bad relationship. Seems like I followed all the steps to get out without knowing them though.

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  • Jesse James Velez
  • 01-09-2020

Understanding a Trauma Bond Survivor

I decided to listen to this audio book to help a friend of mine who I spent the last several months trying to get through and past her Trauma Bond before her relationship went beyond help. Also to avoid more damage being done to her mentally, financially and even physically. I have a hard time staying focused reading books, being read to while I do my daily tasks felt so great, this was my 1st audio book. I’d recommend this book to anyone I felt needed some knowledge during a toxic relationship, in hopes that by listening, it could help in some way. What I liked most about this audio book is that the author spoke from personal experience with examples and scientific facts. 5 stars all around.

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  • Courtney warren
  • 25-06-2020

Everything good in my life!

This book was written just for me! Thank you so much for helping those of us going through this break free from this! The healing this did in one day is so freeing!

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  • Rachel Rodriguez
  • 26-11-2020

Worth every penny!

I started with listening on Audible. Next I'm going to put the advice into action.

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  • Mary
  • 24-11-2020

Makes me feel less alone

I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship and I’ve had people tell me over and over again to leave. I logically know what I deserve but I couldn’t understand why I was. This book makes me feel less alone and understand that it’s a lot more complex than just not taking it and how difficult it is to leave when you’re in a trauma bond.

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  • Luci
  • 19-11-2020

Loved this book

This was so helpful. I have been separated from my ex for almost 2 years and cannot let go. This helps me understand that a bit better. Thank you!

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  • Alesia Braund
  • 18-11-2020

Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding

I found this book to be a narrow minded perspective of one person’s view of trauma bonding. While some points can indeed be helpful, it was far too specific and exclusionary to be sold off as a book written about simply trauma bonding, as the title implies. It should more accurately be depicted as one woman’s story of enduring and escaping an abusive relationship, rather than an overall big-picture look at trauma bonding. I couldn’t wait to finish it, and I was reluctant to leave it unfinished, in case something helpful emerged. I felt like I was reading a diary of the author’s personal experience, with far too much detail given to the traumatic experiences she endured to drive her to learning about trauma bonding, with a significant amount of blame placed on her abuser/ex/the narc. Not a helpful read overall, unless your main goal is to complain and place blame, cut off the person entirely,

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  • Mark Hadley
  • 09-06-2020

Interesting introduction, if a little lightweight

Overall I liked it and found it quite useful, as I was certainly trauma bonded last year. The book was over quite quickly and didn't go into much depth though. That said, there was a good "take away" for me: drawing and labelling my own Trauma Bond cycle. It helped me think about the repeated pattern in my relationship, that just went round and round in a self-perpetuating, self-feeding circle. The Trauma Bond cycle helped me discover my objective truth. I was following a routine, a pattern I had not noticed before listening to this audio book. So, thank you. 👍

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