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  • To Kill or Be Killed

  • A True Crime Memoir from Prison
  • By: Joni Ankerson
  • Narrated by: Tanya Eby
  • Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (22 ratings)

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To Kill or Be Killed cover art

To Kill or Be Killed

By: Joni Ankerson
Narrated by: Tanya Eby
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Publisher's Summary

The day we met in October of 1997, I was working at the District Court in Traverse City, Michigan as a Deputy Clerk. It was like most other days with arraignments, sentencings, civil case hearings, and the like. People shuffling in and out, everyone taking care of their important business with court appearances, document filings, paying tickets, fines, and bonding loved ones out of jail.

I loved my job. It was extremely satisfying and interesting with constant interaction with all walks of life, including people on either end of the judicial spectrum and many in between. Suddenly, there he was. Tall, handsome, and looking so impressive and important in his Michigan State Police uniform with his hat, gun belt, and badge. A powerful man who had chosen a profession to serve and protect. He was extremely friendly and upbeat, smiling profusely. Best of all, he, too, was unattached.

What could go wrong? He was like a dream man. We clicked, immediately, and began dating exclusively. But he was not a dream man. He was a nightmare...as I learned over the next 12 years.

Twelve years of enduring domestic violence at its absolute worse. Constant abuse, control, manipulation, and threats. Sadistic sexual deviance and sexual violence. It was only going to end one way: someone would die in our bed and someone would go to prison for murder.

This is my story about domestic violence, resilience, reckoning, and survival.

©2020 by Joni Ankerson (P)2020 by Blackstone Publishing

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What listeners say about To Kill or Be Killed

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Thank you

Thank you Joni for your bravery, i hope you will now be at peace in your mind and body - NO ONE should ever go through what you did and i know your book will help other survivors find their voice.

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A Must Read

Wow. My heart goes out to you, Joni, and all the countless spouses who suffer with the shocking situation of domestic abuse. So sad the Holbrook family refuse to see him for who he truly was, even with all the evidence.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Harrowing account of social entrapment

The abuse detailed in this account is disturbing. The manipulation is real. Joni did well to survive the depraved abuse of a "paragon of virtue" who was a God fearing Christian. And a police officer at that.
His meeting with God brought about by his wife using his service sidearm. A .40 calibre hand cannon. Three shots. Heart, mouth and brain as she described.
Ultimately, he underestimated Joni's resolve.
She preferred to serve time in prison rather than suffer any further at the hands of her abuser.

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Highly recommend

Being an advocate for women and the impact domestic violence has on their lives and their family lives I found this audiobook one that I just couldn’t put down .

Well read, well written it’s a step into the life of the abused and the abuser.

May we all have the strength to leave and may the justice system find better ways to protect those that need it!!!

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Extended Sentence

Beyond verbose and amateurishly written. It would benefit the listener to play at double speed both because of the excruciatingly overwrought text and the equally painful narration.
It’s a nope from me.

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