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The Werewolf's Guide to Life

A Manual for the Newly Bitten
Narrated by: uncredited
Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
Categories: Comedy, Other
4.5 out of 5 stars (3 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Have you been attacked by a wolf-like creature in the last 30 days? Was it after the sun had set and under a full moon? If you answered, "yes" to both these questions, there's a very good chance that you were bitten by a werewolf. You now have less than a month before the full moon returns and with it your first transformation into a savage, bloodthirsty beast.

Survival is an option, but first, know this:

  • Werewolves are real.
  • The majority of lycanthropes who do not have access to this book die during or shortly after their first transformations, generally due to heart failure, gunshot wounds, exposure, drowning, or suicide.
  • Hollywood horror movies are NOT to be used as guides to living as a werewolf. Their goal is not to educate, but to entertain. As a result, they are largely ignorant of the realities of the condition.
  • Ignorance creates monsters; lycanthropy does not.
  • You are not a monster.

    The Werewolf's Guide to Life cuts through the fiction and guides you through your first transformation and beyond, offering indispensable advice on how to tell if you're really a werewolf, post-attack etiquette, breaking the news to your spouse, avoiding government abduction, and how to not just survive, but thrive. You cannot afford to not read this book. Your very life depends on it.

  • ©2009 Ritch Duncan (P)2009 Random House

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    A must have for any lycanthrope!

    Whilst the Zombie Guide by Max Brooks is still the pinnacle of the "how to survive your supernatural situation", A Manual For The Newly Bitten is not a bad attempt. I'd have preferred a more detailed reading, but what is here is still very good, very thought provoking and surprisingly fresh in some places. I really hope they bring out a similar title for the newly turned vampires out there!

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    • Michelle
    • 13-12-2011

    A totally new look at the werewolf.

    This book totally rises above the hollywood werewolf portrayal. Werewolves are not evil killers, but human beings who have a complicated condition to deal with. This is a well-researched, logical, humorous look at the werewolf living and working in today's world. If you are a werewolf, this book will empower you. If you are not, you will learn to empathize with werewolves as never before. This is a must-have for any werewolf fan. Robertson dean does an absolutely awesome job with the narrative too.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful

    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Antonio Marchena-Roldan
    • 30-01-2010

    Entertaining...

    If you like werewolves and you have some sense of humor you will like this audiobook. It respects the myth (unlike they have done with vampires so many times...) and gives you a new and modern perspective of what a werewolf should do in these days. I really enjoyed it and it will be one of the audiobooks that i will listen more than one time.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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    • Stein
    • 02-10-2012

    Fun and Educational - Made me want to get bitten!

    This was one of the stranger choices I have made on Audible, and I am really glad I took the risk. Pretty much what it says - an owner's manual for your new werewolf body. The narrator is perfect - he has a dry, clinical style that remains interesting and easy to listen too. He could just as easily be talking about how to refinish your dining room table, yet manages to convey a sense of authenticity that reinforces the excellent writing. Too bad most 'real' manuals are not as thorough or well-done as this one. I laughed out loud more than once, and thoroughly enjoyed The Werewolf's Guide to Life from 'cover' to 'cover'.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Bridget
    • 27-05-2011

    FANTASTIC book!!

    I am a HUGE werewolf fan, and this book was PERFECT for any werewolf fan! Fantastic pace, fantastic information, cleverly written, mythology clearly researched and just all around interesting! I have recommended this book to friends and I just loved loved loved it!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • Robo
    • 02-10-2010

    Great book

    Very funny book; who knew what those poor werewolf's had to go through each full moon.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    • Caitlyn McKay
    • 10-11-2016

    Hilariously Serious

    I really enjoyed this book! It's written and presented in a sincere and serious way, which only served to make the whole thing quite hilarious. It generally addresses the typical "beastly Hollywood werewolf". Whether or not the info is quite right, it's still an interesting and fun read. I'm sure any werewolf lover will enjoy this book!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    • Brando
    • 13-05-2010

    The Werewolf's Guide to Life (Unabridged)

    This book was great! I really liked how this book brought you inside the mind of a Lycanthrope. For those out there that really appreciate when a writter sticks to the core mythology. This is your book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    • JOAQUIN M.
    • 10-08-2019

    excellent source material for ideas for your own

    this helped me write my own fiction. I love the idea of werewolves but had no idea how to ground them in reality. this book changed that!

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    • Dai Herrera
    • 27-11-2018

    Outstanding

    I will admit to being a sucker for all things werewolf, unless we are talking about the Twilight type of "werewolves", but that's another story, for another day. I enjoyed the seriousness of what could be a very traumatic time in a newly bitten person's life. I found the guide to be pragmatic and resourceful.

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    • Tigress
    • 17-11-2017

    interesting

    I expected this book to have me laughing hysterically because of the ridiculousness of the notion but instead it was delivered as purposeful lesson with a little bit of dry humor. I actually liked it. Seeing as I am a deeply immersed Patricia Briggs fan, this book shed a little bit more light on the lives of the werewolve when it is without a pack which this book recommends. It's undoubtedly challenging and makes me appreciate my humanity. When you listen the best approach is compare it to your life and thank GOD you are who you are. Human or otherwise. We all have tough and difficult lives but everything is a trade off. When you compare problems, your problems will always be preferable.

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    • GV
    • 09-02-2017

    The only useful self-help book I have ever seen

    Since a werewolf doesn't have a master with a rolled up newspaper to swat it on the nose, the werewolf must train itself....
    All in all, a very useful book. I can't off-hand think of anything they missed. The book takes itself very seriously and is delivered in a deadpan voice.
    There is not much excitement in the book. Still, the chapters about fur chasers and covert government experiments might give me nightmares one of these nights. It might take me a while to forget about eating skunks too.

    I strongly recommend passing on the book to anybody you suspect of having been bitten by a werewolf. It is a must have for a fledgling werewolf hunter or a deluded fur chaser.

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    • xeno
    • 29-05-2015

    Howling good

    very good and great fun to listen too. even learned a few things. well worth it.