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  • The Twat Files

  • By: Dawn French
  • Narrated by: Dawn French
  • Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
  • 5.0 out of 5 stars (21 ratings)

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The Twat Files cover art

The Twat Files

By: Dawn French
Narrated by: Dawn French
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Publisher's Summary

Discover the truth behind the many, many times Dawn French has been a complete twat over the last sixty years.

When I was younger I wanted to be an interesting, sophisticated, semi-heroic, multi-layered person.

BUT.

That kind of perfect is impossible. Being an actual twat is much more the real me. Sorry to boast, but I am a champion twat.

In The Twat Files I will tell you about all the times I've been a total and utter twat. The moments where I've misunderstood stuff and messed up. In my life these have been key because:

Mistakes tell us about ourselves.

Mistakes tell us about others.

Mistakes are hilarious.

Mistakes expose our flaws.

Mistakes show us ourselves honestly.

Mistakes are gloriously human.

My hope is that these stories might fire up yer engines to remind you of just what a massive twat you also are.

Let's celebrate and revel in this most delightful of traits together.

That would be perfectly twatty.

©2023 Dawn French (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

'Dawn French is a wonderful writer' Daily Mail

'This woman is a national treasure' Mail on Sunday

What listeners say about The Twat Files

Average Customer Ratings
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I keep listening to it!

This is so entertaining, and mood lifting, that I keep restarting it and playing favourite parts. Loved it!

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Love the fabulous Twat that is Dawn French

So refreshing to hear a celeb talk about the good bad and ugly that is being a human.
The only down side is that it wasn’t long enough. More please xx

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LOVED IT

The always relevant and hilarious Dawn French brilliant and fun 😀 Highly Recommend a

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I can relate

A beautifully funny collection of true embarrassing moments. I too have many similar awful moments in my life. This book is teaching me to own them!

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what a star

great story teller lots of laughs out loud while walking the dog esp the pee episodes and the dibly puddle story. Very down to earth, Dawn is certainly up for anything, I look forward to more stories.

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Wonderful

Wasn’t sure at the start but it grew on me and I loved it.
Thank you Dawn for the laughs.

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Excellent

Loved the stories, very funny
Brightened my day
Recommend to anyone who wants an easy read/listen

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If you like Dawn French you will LOVE this

Cringeworthy embarrassing moments told with so much humour and fondness it’s an easy and happy listen.
Makes me reflect on my own ‘twattery’ and those moments that were so devastating at the time but upon reflection also ridiculously funny!
Thanks Dawn for being perfectly imperfect x

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Loved it

Thank you Dawn for allowing all of us to be a little more comfortable with our inner twat.

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Excellent

Great listen with good stories
Very quick listen
Good gap filler between books
Very good

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  • Rae Radford
  • 15-10-2023

This book is mainly a repeat of the podcasts.

If you enjoyed French & Saunders Titting About 1,2,3 and 4 then give this book a miss.
A tad greedy Ms. French!

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6 people found this helpful

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  • Lindsay Brockwell
  • 17-10-2023

Absolutely love it

I could listen to this wonderful woman all day forever. love dawn so much. her stories are so funny and the way she tells them makes it all the more funny. thank you dawn and I hope there's another book. we need to know how you got out of your dressing room. xx

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  • LisaK
  • 10-11-2023

Absolutely brilliant

I’ve loved French and Saunders for as long as I can remember. They have always made me laugh and Dawns book is no exception to that. I made the mistake of listening mostly at my desk in work. I laughed aloud many times. I’m not sorry. Well done Dawn on this book. It’s bloody brilliant just like you

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  • Diana Buckinghamshire
  • 10-11-2023

Laugh out loud funny

Loved the stories. So very recognisably. Even better that is read by Dawn French herself !

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  • claire collins
  • 04-11-2023

Felt a Twat for wasting my money

I found most of it silly and boring A few interesting anecdotes but mostly just silly and trite.
If I had bought a hard copy I would have donated before I finished. As it was an audible copy she did prattle on til the end

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  • Anonymous User
  • 24-10-2023

Frustrated

I am slightly frustrated by this book as it is a combination of stories from her book Dear Fatty & her podcast Titting About with Jennifer Saunders (& a smattering of unheard stories). So if you have listened to either of these, especially the podcast, then this book is just that on repeat, minus Jennifer Saunders.
Some stories were funny & I did laugh but I didn’t find it hilarious unfortunately.

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  • Gemma Garnett
  • 10-11-2023

Loved it!!

Really funny, some epic Twatage! Thank you for making me laugh for as long as I can remember!

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  • Clare
  • 09-11-2023

Love her

I love everything Dawn French writes and this is no exception. I wish she was my friend… love her.

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  • DanS
  • 09-11-2023

Utterly Enjoyable

I enjoyed the book a lot. Brilliant stories from Dawn, very honest, open and of course hilarious

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  • Liz
  • 08-11-2023

Hilariously funny!

I love this book, Dawn never fails to be hilarious and honest. Highly recommend! Love how relatable this is!

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