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Publisher's Summary

Leland 

Is a nice little wedding with Blow-up Randy and Jackson My Love too much to ask for? Clearly, because someone’s trying to kill one of us...again. Generally, this would be my thing and I would jump right in singing my murder song, but they want Jackson dead and I will do anything (and I mean anything) to keep him alive - including and not limited to: 10 Dobermans, bulletproof glass, and dragging Cassel in with the promise of more Jerebear. These people have no idea what they’ve done targeting the man I love because I’m coming after them. But when it feels like everything might be lost, I start to understand that I have a family now who will stand by my side and do everything they can to make sure we end this on our terms. 

Jackson 

When someone attacks me, it’s clear they want something from me. The issue is that I have no idea who they are or what they’re after. And if I don’t figure it out soon, I’m afraid Leland is going to smother me with his overprotectiveness (or put me in a bubble at the top of a tower). The issue is that time is ticking and with the price tag on my head, there’s no telling who is coming for me or when. Together, Leland and I have to decipher who is telling the truth in this game of life or death because I have plans to marry the man of my dreams, and no one is going to stop me - especially with Leland by my side. 

This book contains humor, action, romance, bad behavior on a golf course, sort of abducting a child who lacks kung fu power, enough car chases and shooting to make even Leland happy, and spontaneous singing.

©2020 Alice Winters (P)2021 Alice Winters

What listeners say about The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

This narrator is absolutely perfect for Leland

The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot was exactly what I was expecting - fun, OTT, a little silly at times but always enjoyable to read.

Leland is his normal sarcastic, hilarious self throughout the 3rd instalment in the Hitman's Guide series. His OTT protectiveness of Jackson kicks into high gear when someone attempts to kill Jackson. Leland is determined to protect Jackson by whatever means possible, which of course involves Dobermans, car chases, many guns, dragging in Cassel and Henry to help. LOL - poor Jackson, Leland is a little unreasonable when it comes to protecting his love.

Michael Ferraiuolo is absolutely hilarious as Leland - his performance of this character made me smile so many times.

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This series gets better and better!

Someone seems determined to take Jackson’s laptop and don’t mind shooting him to do it. Leland will do anything to keep him safe and that, of course, means ANYTHING. With ten dobermans, multiple assassins, THE fence, and wedding bells, this story has even more going on than usual. There’s plenty of laughs over Leland’s brand of crazy, as well as some touching moments. I just relistened to the first two books and I think they get better and better over the series - especially when Leland finally got a little of what he dishes out to Jackson all the time! Michael Ferraioulo has made these two characters his own and his comedic delivery and distinct voices for all major characters are impressive.

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  • Rebecca Azizov
  • 30-01-2021

wow!!!!!

I will not spoil this book , I will not spoil this book!!!!! I will write a good review without spoiling the book!!!!
Let's do this ****
P.s!!!!!! If you hadn't listen to the first two books go the F away, and do it already!!!! What are you still doing here?! Are you still here?! Go away I told you

It's review time 🎧

Warning ⚠️: 3rd book in a series, not a standalone, comedy, mm romance, action, guns, a sweet kid, 10 dogs (well 11) and much much more!

Narrator score🎧 ; well I really don't know what else to say about this talent, really I don't Michael Ferraiuolo is so talented it just hurts from laughter, really I can't feel my cheeks anymore!!!!! Omg he is responsible for elongating my life and making me feel better. Just thank you for that.

Level of steam🔥: well 🤣🤣🤣 how can I say it.... you had some edible underwears, and some very funny *** time. So yeah. It was kinda hot. But as always one of the biggest talents of this incredible author is that she doesn't need to write steam to make you want to read it. It just is, and it's wonderful and snarky.

Level of anxiety and sadness0😱😢: well though its a full on comedy, it is full with humans and I'll explain. Sometimes when you read a comedy you forget to write something serious, but she didn't as an author she made us love Leland and Jackson. They aren't those perfect or stupid sitcom characters, they are human and she even made me to tear up. The book is that good.

The book itself📖: well ,we are here! that book, that whole series, is just a big Wow! because who knew that you can fall in love with a character from the one side, but you never want to meet this character in real life, because omg!!!!
So yeah that is Leland, you love him, you love his snark, his humor, his craziness, you can't dislike him, but now and then you are reminded that he is dangerous as all hell! And the combo is just brilliant.
I really think that Alice winters is an incredible artist, I can't call her just an author, because she's much more. She'll tell you a story that could easily pass as an horror movie and tell it as a full on comedy. Its a great talent she possesses.
And Jackson let's talk about him , he is more "perfect" than Leland but then we discovered that he isn't from book one we see this accomplished man who isn't in a good place with his family, and sure we all get it in the glamorous dress of humor, but we do feel what he is going through and I love it. Every single moment of this book and series as a whole is magic.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Roger
  • 05-03-2021

Interesting then LOL

It reminds me of Terry Pratchett, a bit or perhaps A Lee Martinez, maybe a lesser Wodehouse. Just a story without angst, breezy without being insipid, clever at times, made me laugh out loud several times. A guy is in a ridiculous situation. It is the kind of popcorn story I like but is very hard to do. The three authors mentioned are the only ones I know. I really want to read another by this author. This is a book I can listen to again in 2 or 3 years & just enjoy. That’s what I meant by a popcorn book. It isn’t bleak or dystopian. The characters aren’t humiliated or abused. There isn’t heart pounding action & non-stop plot twists. There are no pools of blood or unsub serial killers. It is likeable. It must have depth or something I have no word for because it isn’t boring. Just a bit of entertainment.

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  • Nalla Jodi
  • 31-01-2021

Once again Fabulous

Winters never misses with these characters. I don’t know if I want to be Leland or be his friend. He has to be my most favorite book character I’ve ever read about. And that says alot since I’ve read/listened to alot of books. Huge credit to Michael! Throughout this series I’ve laughed so much but this book is a masterpiece; many times I laughed s so hard I almost peed myself (ie, golf cart scene) and this is while I was driving. Well done y’all!!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Topher Smith
  • 09-05-2021

loved it

this is an awesome book series. i loved it. this is a book series that you must read or listen to.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Manduh
  • 20-04-2022

Better to read than listen...

So I listened to these books one after the other and perhaps that was not the best idea. I used to think Leland was a bada$$ but not so much anymore. Every mission he goes on he makes some sort of mistake or he gets distracted. He actually doesn't do much to claim the title of bad$$. I think I wanted him to be more like Lavendar (in K. Sterling's series). Talking about guns is not the same as using them. Listening to the books in a row made me realize he doesn't really do that either. Do I still like him...of course. He and Jackson together are great. Is he a bit OTT...heck yeah. Will I listen to Cassel's story on audio...duh! So what's the point of this review...idk...just thinking out loud 🤷🏽‍♀️😆

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 08-04-2022

This series is gold!

This series is gold! I love it so much. I love Henry in this book, he's so sweet to Leland. Jackson and Leland are adorable! Nonstop laughing has got to be some kind of cure all. Alice Winters is brilliant!
I read it and now I'm listening to the audio book. Michael Ferraiuolo does so well, I've really enjoyed listening to this. He adds another layer of fun to these books.

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  • J. Roberts
  • 23-01-2022

Boring and repetitive.

This is the least interesting of the three books in this series and feels dragged out just to make a book.

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  • iamltr
  • 18-01-2022

I has a sad...

This is the last book of the series for Leland and Jackson and I will miss them.

I have loved every book in the series but this was my favorite. I think I say that for each one.

The writing was funny but the narration was perfect. When I re read the books, I hear them in MF's voices.

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  • Phoenix
  • 05-12-2021

Wonderful

no other words work for Leeland and Jackson the Fabulous! these two are hilarious and always finding something to get into lol

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  • Rachel Emily
  • 25-11-2021

Murder song is the best song

The audiobook of this is just sheer. Brilliance. Michael does the most amazing job of narrating this and making Leland so hilarious and wonderful! His accents and singing and sass are just some of the very best.

I love Jackson and Leland together - their snark and love and interactions are hilarious and fun. I love them so much.

I can’t wait for Cassel to get his book!

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  • Aussiebumwearer
  • 10-02-2021

Amazing Writing! 😍😁👍👍


As expected, this book is as amazing as the previous two audiobooks.

Great storyline and with usual snark, sass and humour you’d expect from Alice Winters 😂😁

Michael Ferraiuolo as always, delivers an outstanding performance 😊

Definitely worth 5🌟’s

1 person found this helpful

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  • Mrs. E. J. Curtis
  • 11-05-2022

Enjoyable Story

A well written story with and interesting  concept.  The characters are likeable and the narration is very good.

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 22-07-2021

Entertaining

Not quite as good as the first two - suffers from an extraneous child character. Still worth listening to.

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  • Tatyana
  • 11-06-2021

Funny, witty, just like the first two books

Highly recommend this series. start with the first one, of course. great narration as well.

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  • Jacquie
  • 15-05-2021

Perfect Leland

Michael Ferraiuolo narrates Leland perfectly, capturing the sweet side of him. These books are just hilarious and the audio adds depth

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