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The Absence

Memoirs of a Banshee Drummer

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The Absence

By: Budgie
Narrated by: Budgie
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A TIMES AND ROUGH TRADE BOOK OF THE YEAR

'Beautifully written and brutally honest' LYDIA LUNCH
'A compassionate, relatable love story' MIKI BERENYI
'Lyrical, affectionate and often painfully raw' RUPERT THOMSON

As a member of Big in Japan, The Slits and, most famously, Siouxsie and The Banshees and The Creatures, 'Budgie' became one of the era-defining drummers in the much-mythologised post-punk scene of the late 1970s and early 1980s.

The beating heart of this painfully honest account of a life often sabotaged by substance abuse and alcoholism is his long-term position as drummer and co-writer with Siouxsie and The Banshees, alongside ex-wife, Siouxsie Sioux. But as their personal relationship fractured, the consequences for the band were inevitable.

The Absence is both fabulously glamorous and a tawdry cautionary tale. For the first time the story of the most exalted and mysterious of bands has been told by one who survived inside the belly of the beast.©2025 Peter Clarke
Art Music
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Critic Reviews

A look inside the heart of a drum god and a behind-the-scenes exposé of one of the most iconic bands in music history (TERRI NUNN)
Given how devoted Budgie was to obliterating himself, and given that the people surrounding him were either unwilling or unable to communicate, it seems miraculous that his memoir exists at all, still more miraculous that the writing is so present, so lucid, and so tender. We feel exactly what it was like to be caught up in the stomach-lurching post punk whirlwind of the late 70s/early 80s. His mother's devastating early death became a kind of engine for his life, propelling him forwards into creativity and exhibitionism even as it held him back emotionally. Lyrical, affectionate and often painfully raw, The Absence is the literary equivalent of what Budgie does behind the drums - the one place, as he says, where he 'can't fake it'. Nothing is faked in this vivid hymn to vulnerability, damage and excess, and the haunting, unforgettable music that came flowing out of it (RUPERT THOMSON)
The Absence lays bare the burden of overcoming guilt, shame, loneliness and the search for validation through art and music - the salves to the universal wounds. Beautifully written, brutally honest, a travelogue of self discovery by one of the most unique artists still reaching new levels of musical experimentation (LYDIA LUNCH)
Having had the blessing of sharing a stage with Budgie, I was immediately struck by both his power and precision and simultaneously his nuanced, sensitive artistry of what he didn't do in the spaces in between beats: in the absence. Budgie's writing is similar to his musical magic. He writes with a gentle fearlessness, honesty and deep awareness. This book is an exploration of the mystery of the absence, for that's where the magic happens (LITTLE ANNIE)
At the heart of The Absence is Budgie's decades-long romance with Siouxsie Sioux, which is both dazzlingly extraordinary and heartbreakingly familiar. Their relationship, burnished by fierce musical talent and harmonious collaboration, is also saddled with complex band politics and savaged by addictions fed by the seductive glare of success . . . but even during their most shocking excesses, it's a compassionate, relatable love story of a boy who lost his mother meeting a girl who lost her father, pursuing the optimistic hope of finding unconditional, uncomplicated love (MIKI BERENYI)
The Absence is an unflinching, deeply felt memoir of a life lived at the centre of post-punk's most mythologised circles
All stars
Most relevant
Wow what a wild ride! Fantastic book written and read by the one and only Budgie. From the crushing loss of a parent to the heights of fame, love, loss and down to earth again this book has it all. So moving, painful and hopeful. Well done Budgie.

Moving, uplifting and unsettling

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This is an amazing insight into the real world of a rock star. I loved it.

A bio as therapy

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I was expecting more detail regarding his time as a musician but instead I got the warts and all recollection of his excessive alcoholism. Goes into great detail about his dull day to day. Hardly a rock and roll memoir.

Another Alcoholics Memoir?

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