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Setting Boundaries

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Setting Boundaries

By: Rebecca Ray
Narrated by: Rebecca Ray
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About this listen

Setting Boundaries is not just about saying 'no'.

It is about pursuing the things that set our soul on fire, loving deeply without losing ourselves, and better resisting the demands and expectations of others.

Dr Rebecca Ray, Australian clinical psychologist and author, shows how boundaries are the key to many of the emotional and practical difficulties we encounter in daily life.

Many of us, raised to be people-pleasers, find ourselves giving in to draining colleagues, friends, partners and relatives.

In Setting Boundaries, Dr Ray shares science-based advice and tools to help you:

  • identify your boundaries and when they have been crossed
  • recognise the patterns and habits that have failed to support you to feel empowered
  • engage in difficult conversations from a place of strength and self-kindness
  • set clear, intentional boundaries and become your most loving, fulfilled and authentic self.

Accessible, inspiring and deeply practical, Setting Boundaries ignites us to rethink our relationships, reclaim our lives and protect our mental health and wellbeing.

©2021 Rebecca Ray (P)2021 Macmillan Audio Emotions Personal Development Personal Success Stress Management Mental Health Health

Critic Reviews

'Within the first two pages I found myself exclaiming, She's so brilliant. That's exactly how it is! - Dr Libby Weaver

'Yet another valuable contribution from Dr Rebecca Ray and one I can genuinely and sincerely recommend.' - Dr Tim Sharp

'I will return to this book over and over again when I'm feeling lost and need a comforting voice of support.' - Alison Daddo

All stars
Most relevant  
I read this book because it changed the life of someone I deeply respect. I personally didn’t think I would get much out of this book, due to already having a robust understanding and implementation of healthy boundaries and communication skills.

However, one really incredible sentence stood out to me, and that was, “If you’re offended by my boundaries, then you are probably one of the reasons why I need them”. I never considered the different archetypes, from which boundaries are created. It was really quite fascinating to discover my primary archetype is Guardian. Made me think some of the healthy and unhealthy scripts I have put in place, that inspired my own boundaries to be created and become calcified over the years. It made me question the truth behind each boundary, and whether if it’s worth clinging to them. Would clinging to boundaries, not made by my Inner Leader, help me move toward the life direction that I want to go?

Ray dives into values as well, with some really thought provoking questions that are rapid fired at the reader, one after the other. There almost needs to be an accompanying workbook be able to properly process and identify which archetype governs which areas of your life. I was joyfully surprised at the case study responses Ray gave to family and friend situations, around giving and expectation, and articulated some of the most concise responses to those events I have ever read. It really gave me something practical to work with.

This is a book anyone and everyone can learn from, but is probably more suited to someone finding themselves and reasserting their boundaries if they feel lost in their identity, and need clarity. It will naturally awaken your Inner Leader if you are open to it.

Re-writing my boundaries from my Inner Leader

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Fantastic book that teaches essential tools for setting boundaries. Rebecca discusses many important lessons typically learned through life experience, explaining in various ways how you manage relationships with others and yourself. It also provides insights on improving behaviors. A great read!

Great tools

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This book was super helpful for me navigating a bad relationship, it helped me to realise how we both were contributing to our mismatch and where boundaries were coming into it. I loved the audiobook, Rebecca's narration is kind, gentle and feels friendly. I highly recommend going out and buying the physical book as well, because there is a heap of work to be done when reading this book and I found it a lot easier to get through with the physical book on hand - plus it means you can go back to certain parts when you need.

A huge help for people who struggle with self worth

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The author spent a good part of the book explaining what goes inside the head of someone who tries to set boundaries, and how to get over their internal barriers. There seems to be much less about the skills or technique in setting boundaries.

Having finished the book, I am still not entirely convinced that it is primarily people’s own psychology stopping one from setting boundaries for themselves. If they already master the skill to assertively set boundaries, would they still come up with so many mental strategies to stop themselves from setting boundaries?

Good book that does help people who mentally disable themselves from setting boundaries to understand more about themselves

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This book is such a practical toolkit and guide for setting boundaries, I genuinely feel more equipped to set and maintain and adjust boundaries when needed. I like the use weaving in examples through stories as well was straightforward prompts, reflection and actions.

Insightful and helpful

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Loved listening to Setting Boundaries, you have changed my world 🌎 in all the right ways,

I use the tools in my work place, with my teen daughter, friends and with my partner... my teen daughter is the hardest to set boundaries with where as I thought it would have been the easiest person to set boundaries with lol 😆 mostly because she knows my weak spots more then any one else and knows when I buckle but I am getting there with her it's more healthier for her well being and mine if I parent her then oppose to give her what she wants

Learning so much about myself and I actually love me, myself for who I truly am and I now recognise my worth and I am more likely to stand up for me
Thanks inner Leader you have my back

Thank You souch for writing this book 📖 ❤

Thanks for changing my life

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This book clearly states how you can create and maintain boundaries. Dr Ray makes it clear how this can help maintain healthy relationships. This book is also based on psychology which is great for those who do not want faith based help.

A must read for all adults.

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covers so much ground in steady and complete way. really well read. really great book. nothing to fault

great book

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This book is especially relevant for those who struggle to be assertive or have observed red flags in relationships and need support as to what to do about them. A must read for those in fractured relationships.

Brilliant - got so much out of it

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A very valuable book. I'm going to listen to this again and take notes. There was so much information related to boundaries like the different types of communication and the different ways people can have coercive control over you. I recommend everyone read this!

So Much Valuable Information In This!

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