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Quicksand Tales

The Misadventures of Keggie Carew

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Quicksand Tales

By: Keggie Carew
Narrated by: Jilly Bond
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Ever been talked into buying a camel? Or become a burglar by mistake? Or accidentally drugged a friend on a blind date?

Keggie Carew has an unerring instinct for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, of putting her foot in it, and making a hash of things. From the repercussions of a missing purse, to boiling a frog, or the holiday when the last thing you could possibly imagine happens, Keggie has been there. She also has an enviable talent for recycling awfulness and turning embarrassment into gold. In prose that will make you laugh, wince and curl your toes, Keggie Carew shares her most humiliating, awkward, uncomfortable, funny, true, terrible and all-too-relatable moments.

You will be glad none of it happened to you.

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Critic Reviews

"I don’t know how she does it but Keggie has the ability to take the sideways moments in life, and paint them with such humour and folly and awfulness I go from snort-out-loud laughing to wonder. Here is a collection of tales of mistakes that verge from terrifying to everyday but told once again with Keggie’s rare blend of wit, warmth, zany fizz and plain honesty" (RACHEL JOYCE)
"This is an unexpected and unusual treat: a funny and clever collection of non-fiction stories that feels like a breath of fresh air . . . This is laugh-out-loud, delightful comedic writing. It captures a mood of escapism and nostalgia that I found incredibly reassuring and cheering. More Keggie, please" (VIV GROSKOP)
"Hilariously, toe-curlingly relatable . . . a joyous burst of authenticity"
"Carew is a natural storyteller, and each of these tales works like a perfectly paced standup routine, punctuated by some gorgeous phrase-making . . . It’s hard to make writing look this easy, but Carew’s stories have the knack of easing the reader happily from page to page, leaving us squirming at the situations she finds herself in while secretly hoping that she won’t escape them just yet"
"Wonderfully written, very funny and full of life" (ROGER DALTREY)
"Carew excel[s] at pinpointing the disjointedness between the life we boast about and the messy lives we actually end up living"
"Keggie Carew really has a knack for stepping in it, boy. But the further you wade in with her, the more hilarious, and poignant, it all becomes. Quicksand Tales is a tonic for the tortured and cursed" (JOSHUA FERRIS)
"I loved it. Keggie is chaos in motion, yearning for everything to go right and, luckily for us, it rarely does. She has a wonderfully sharp eye for character, draws every scene so vividly and it’s funny, witty. Never arch. Funny. And awful" (ROBERT BATHURST)
"Keggie Carew blazes a trail for the more earthbound and hapless among us in her brilliant and hilarious Quicksand Tales"
"Charming . . . Carew has a beautifully evocative style"
All stars
Most relevant
The book starts well with some interesting tales, but eventually the persistently twee tone and (let's be blunt) snobbery gets on the nerves. The narration by a Joyce Grenfell sound-alike doesn't help. In one chapter Carew talks about imbibing a magic mushroom. The last chapter is so overblown I thought she must have written it under the influence of those funny fungi. "Diary of a Nobody" without the laughs. Carew may have previously written an award winning book but this is not it.

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