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Publisher's Summary

Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?  

Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.  

Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide. It provides nonmonogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory. 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2020 Jessica Fern (P)2020 Thorntree Press

What listeners say about Polysecure

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 04-01-2021

Recommend for anyone in any type of relationship!

This content is so rich an helpful in understanding the self and the partner(s). As a psychotherapist, I read this to better support my clients in consensual non-monogamous relationships. Jessica Fern did a wonderful job talking about attachment and how to apply practices to the self and various relationships.

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  • Nathan
  • 30-12-2020

Great Starting Point

Fantastic resource for more than just people practicing consensual nonmonogamy (CNM). I was enamored by the structure of the book. Starting with a glossary, the author then gives you a brief outline of what you will read, starting with foundational principles (in this case attachment theory), then how they relate to CNM, finally moving to strategies on how to apply those to your interpersonal relationships. The author will then make references to previous sections or inform you when this particular topic will surface again. While focusing on CNM, this book has something for people of many different relationship styles. The first third of the book is about attachment theory mostly devoid of any CNM context, and the principles presented could easily be applied to a monogamous relationship or platonic friendship. The author doesn't present the book as the be-all and end-all; repeatedly stating that research is severely lacking in this area. The author will frequently list other books and resources to continue your learning. This book seems meant to be a start, not an end, to growth in creating secure attachments with one's self and others.

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  • ssteussy
  • 21-12-2020

A must-read for CNM persons

Amazing how long it has taken for a book like this to be written. Polysecure is a perfect accompaniment to “Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory” (which itself is a great substitution for “More Than Two” following the accusations against Veaux). Fern takes a compassionate approach to CNM and all the attachment styles, providing guidance for navigating the issues that arise. I also feel like I understand attachment theory a lot better. Planning on reading several times. Thank you so much, Jessica Fern.

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  • Elder Keithulhu
  • 10-12-2020

Alt title: Confronting Complex Trauma for Dummies

The book introduces an overview of attatchment styles and the way our trauma-informed brains apply the styles from our development throughout pur lives and future relationships. It is full of wonderful general relationship and communication advice, and details specifically how people who are nonmonogamous can work to serve the relationship partners' as well as their own needs, hopes, and desires.

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  • Laura
  • 07-12-2020

Awesome

I've never read a book about attachment so thoroughly clear, affirming and non shaming. Very very good.

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  • Todd
  • 02-12-2020

Seemed Poly and Mono Relationships Very Similar

The book called out there was a big difference between monogamous and poly relationships but most of the advice was very similar to what you would give to someone in a monogamous relationship. Focus on yourself, understand your attachment issues, be a better partner. With poly relationships there are more partners granted, but the advice seemed very similar.

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  • Andrew h.
  • 01-12-2020

attachment style defined!

loved it! the first the few chapters on attachment style were eye opening! so good!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 24-01-2021

Epic, Critical, One of a kind book, for us Ethically Nonmonogamous folks!

As the co-leader of a trauma/attachment informed polyamory community on Facebook (shameless plug: Leveled Up Love), finding this book was a God Send! Tomorrow we are excited to interview Jessica in our community and also look forward to further collaborations with her. What’s funny is that I’m not that good with books, unlike my partners who read dozens of books a year. I struggle so much to get through books, that it’s sadly been years since I’ve read a book cover to cover. Polysecure was SO good that I managed to listen to it (on audible) in just three days!! Blessing to Jessica and the team who made Polysecure happen! 🙏

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  • Steve
  • 21-01-2021

For everyone & every relationship

This book is the best practical guide to attachment styles I’ve read. No matter what type of relationships you have, or if you’re single, it provides a powerful lens to examine how you relate.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 12-01-2021

Most Amazing Description of Attachment Ive heard to date

This book explained my experience of attachment more accurately than any I’ve ever heard. Seeing myself and my experience reflected in someone else who is successfully navigating insecure attachment and non monogamy gave me the permission and confidence to begin dating openly with the assurance that I can seek security and multiple partners at the same time. Thanks a million to the authors and contributors.

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