Why do we chase people who don’t choose us, confuse anxiety for attraction, and stay in relationships that leave us questioning our worth?

Today, Jay sits down with Sabrina Zohar, podcast host and one of the most influential voices in modern dating, to unpack the emotional patterns that quietly shape how we love. Drawing from her own healing journey and work with thousands of clients, Sabrina explains how our childhood experiences, nervous system responses, and unhealed wounds influence who we’re drawn to often without us realizing it.

Together, Jay and Sabrina explore what emotional availability really looks like, why consistency matters more than intensity, and how boundaries aren’t about pushing people away but protecting your peace. They break down common dating traps, from overanalyzing texts to mistaking butterflies for chemistry, and reveal why self-advocacy is one of the most important relationship skills we’re never taught. Through practical insights and deeply personal stories, Sabrina shows why asking for what you need isn’t “too much,” and why love should feel safe, not confusing.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Choose You

How to Date Without Abandoning Yourself

How to Set Boundaries Without Fear of Losing Someone

How to Recognize Emotional Availability Early

How to Break the Cycle of Situationships

How to Ask for What You Need Without Feeling “Too Much”

How to Stop Confusing Intensity for Intimacy

You don’t need to chase clarity, overperform for love, or silence your needs to be chosen. Real connection begins when you feel safe enough to be honest, brave enough to set boundaries, and grounded enough to walk away from what doesn’t honor you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:01 How to Tell If Someone Is Truly Interested

02:52 Why You Date the Parts of You That Aren’t Healed

06:04 Understanding Your Emotional State Before You Date

07:59 Don’t Ignore These Red Flags!

10:33 What Should a Healthy, Secure Relationship Feel Like?

13:34 Why Slowing Down Creates Real Connection

20:07 What’s Really Draining You About Dating?

24:09 Your Partner Will Trigger You, That’s Okay!

29:03 Building a Strong Foundation for Dating

32:45 How to Advocate for Yourself Without Fear of Losing Them

39:20 Are You Feeling Alone?

42:03 How to Spot Emotional Unavailability Early

44:51 Why Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable

46:56 How to Be Honest About Your Feelings

50:20 How to Communicate Your Needs Clearly

54:52 Why Relationships Must Support Growth

56:57 Timing Is Not a Reason to Hold On

59:23 Texting Etiquette in Modern Dating

01:12:33 Why Real Change Takes Time and Practice

01:18:36 Dating Rapid Fire

Episode Resources:

Website | https://www.sabrinazohar.com/

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@sabrina_zohar

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Sabrina-Zohar-Show-100094409286590/

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If you’re starting this year feeling stuck, late, or behind in life, this episode gently reminds you that you’re not late, you’re right where you’re supposed to be.

Jay unpacks a quiet truth many of us carry: almost everyone feels behind in love, career, money, or purpose, even when it looks like they’re winning. We compare what we’re struggling with privately to what others show publicly and end up measuring ourselves by timelines that were never real to begin with. When you see only the surface of others’ success, it’s easy to believe you’re behind when in reality, you’re simply on a different path.

Jay reframes what “behind” really means. There is no universal schedule for success, fulfillment, or clarity. Most people don’t find their direction until much later than we’re led to believe, and emotional maturity, financial stability, and creative breakthroughs often arrive in midlife, not early adulthood. The pressure you feel isn’t proof of failure, it’s often the result of unrealistic expectations you set when you didn’t yet know who you’d become. Feeling lost, especially in your twenties and thirties, isn’t a flaw, it’s part of being human.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Stop Feeling Behind in Life

How to Break Free from Comparison

How to Build Confidence in Your Own Season

How to Let Go of Outdated Success Timelines

How to Turn Invisible Growth into Strength

How to Move Forward Without Rushing Decisions

Life isn’t asking you to move faster, it’s asking you to move honestly. Trust the season you’re in, honor the lessons it’s teaching you, and keep showing up with consistency and self-belief.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:58 Do You Feel Behind in Life?

01:49 #1: We Compare Our Insides to Other People's Outsides

04:27 #2: You’re Focused on a Timeline that Doesn't Exist

06:41 #3: We Are Wired for Anxiety About Feeling Behind

09:20 You Are Exactly Where You’re Supposed to Be

12:53 What to Do When You Feel Behind

13:33 Step #1: Compare Less, Connect More

14:16 Step #2: Rewrite Your Timeline

15:49 Step #3: Identify Your Season

16:54 Step #4: Define Progress as Consistency Not Speed

17:42 Step #5: Ask the Question that Changes Everything

18:20 Five Practical Steps to Take This Year

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.