On Our Best Behaviour cover art

On Our Best Behaviour

From the host of Pulling The Thread

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On Our Best Behaviour

By: Elise Loehnen
Narrated by: Elise Loehnen
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About this listen

Bloomsbury presents On Our Best Behaviour written and read by Elise Loehnen.

*THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*
'A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live' LISA TADDEO
'Astute, radical and utterly compelling' KATHERINE MAY
'You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy over to your best friend' JENNIFER ANISTON
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Why do women equate self-denial with being ‘good’?

We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. Journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses – often lauded as distinctly feminine instincts – are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of social mores:

Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.

These so-called ‘deadly sins’ have been used by the patriarchy to control women throughout our history. For instance, a fear of gluttony drives us to ignore our appetites and an aversion to greed prevents us from negotiating a better salary at work.

So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be ‘good’?

Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour is a probing analysis of history and contemporary culture that explains how women have internalised the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Elise Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover a path toward a more balanced, fulfilled way to live.
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'This is a really important book' CHELSEA HANDLER
'A guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self' GABOR MATÉ
'Brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming' LORI GOTTLIEB

©2023 Elise Loehnen (P)2023 Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Gender Studies Social Sciences Sociology Discrimination Rage
All stars
Most relevant  
So much insight for myself as a woman, my partner as a male & the way I’m raising our son. Will revisit many chapters.

A must read for all women

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An incredible book for all readers, young and old. A great mix of history, social sciences, psychology and personal accounts.

All genders need to read this.

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Elise offers A-MAZ-ING insights and reminds us why we need Feminism now more than ever.

Her book has inspired me to learn more about the past struggles as women and so much about the ways our society is subconsciously geared towards men.

She also inspired me to own my dream and my truth.

if you are a woman, cisgender or not, YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS BOOK!

If you're a woman, you MUST listen to this!

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Having long admired Elise for her courageous eloquence I have been extremely excited about this book which completely fulfilled its profound promise as I was unable to put it down as it is an incredibly enriching ride through history, society & culture as well as religion and politics that I found deeply fascinating. Exhilarating.

Extraordinary.

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I’m a big fan of Eloise and was worried that the book wouldn’t live up to what I mad wit out to be in my head. I shouldn’t have worried, it’s everything I was expecting and more.

Elise so eloquently explains what most of us feel.

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Elise’s words are like gospel. She holds you through the edges and places that are hard to go and look at and expands you to see the bigger picture and how everything is interconnected. Stunning. Thank you Elise ❤️

Incredibly profound, moving, comforting

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This book is amazing. I’m still digesting and reflecting every wise sentence. There is some grief for the past and the years of sacrifice but also hope for the future…eating ice cream to celebrate. Thanks Elise!

We all need to read this!

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What an amazing book! I’ve just finished and want to start it again, so much love, insightful thought and awareness went into writing it.

A must read

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The Human race needs to read this, original and intelligently written honest book. A thoroughly worthwhile read.

Intuitive and Eloquent

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In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.