Never Have Your Dog Stuffed cover art

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

And Other Things I've Learned

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Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

By: Alan Alda
Narrated by: Alan Alda
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About this listen

He’s one of America’s most recognizable and acclaimed actors–a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his eleven years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances.

“My mother didn’t try to stab my father until I was six,” begins Alda’s irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.

Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.

It is the story of turning points in Alda’s life, events that would make him what he is–if only he could survive them.

From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist’s shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can’t be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.

©2005 Alan Alda (P)2005 Random House, Inc. Random House Audio, a division of Random House, Inc.
Entertainment & Celebrities Relationships Celebrity Comedy Funny Witty Memoir

Critic Reviews

"A brief but entertaining autobiography tempered with humility and a depth rarely found in celebrity memoirs." (Publishers Weekly)

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It had me laughing at inappropriate moments in public. It's a listen I could do over again.

Great story teller

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I don't like abridged audiobooks. Thankfully they are less and less rare, but I had to make a choice with this book. Either listen to the abridged read by Alan Alda or the unabridged read by someone else. Honestly, there was never a real choice. I wasn't going to listen to Alda story without him reading it.

This is a pretty good overview of his youth, his connection to his parents and his path to acting. There's not a lot of focus on the intricacies of his time on TV and movies or the relationships he formed with other celebrities. And that's fairly refreshing, as much as I'd like to hear stories of his time on M*A*S*H, I found the direction he traveled in more interesting.

There's something comforting in hearing Alan Alda read his story, he doens't come across as a bigshot Hollywood actor, just a guy who happened to end up as one of the fixtures of my childhood growing up.

Witty, insightful and amusing

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Alan Alda narrates his own life story. It’s a fascinating and thoughtful story. It’s told at (what I think is) the perfect pace and with just the right amount of detail. Loved it!

Thoroughly enjoyable

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A book that finds joy and meaning in life that helped me to discover myself a little more. Performed authentically and beautifully.

Takes me to a happy place

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I loved this auto biology. I always enjoyed MASH, my husband often quoting lines from the series having seen it multiple times. Hawkeye being my favorite character drew me to listen to this audio book. Alan describes his inquisitive nature from a young age and the exposure to his fathers creative life and his mother’s mental illness all deliver an an entertaining and interesting listen. I highly recommend 😊

Alan Alda shares his colorful childhood

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Loved it. Listened to it while on the road at work. I really enjoyed hearimf about the man behind Hawkeye Pearce.

Great read.

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A very down to earth story from beginning to end. Peppered with humour amongst the reality of life. Alan’s quick wit and a few innocent fibs paid off in his career. His practice in his field developed not only his career but also his own humanity and humility.
A great read, thanks Alan for your contribution to acting. It would have been immense fun growing up in your household.

Lights Burlesque Action

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I knew Alan Alda from MASH,I watched the re-runs of re-runs.I had heard about this book but had only just seen it on Audible.To hear re MASH,I would have to wait a bit.Alda's book is filled with nuggets of personal information and what an impact his mother's condition had on him.He speaks of his childhood and is a clear example of how our childhood effects the rest of our lives as we grow into adults.He also points out how what happens in your childhood does not have to dictate the types of adults we become. A very interesting, funny, educational and ultimately uplifting story. Highly recommended.

Extremely heartfeltly well written book. Highly Recommended. ☆☆☆☆☆

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Alan Alda is the voice of television and cinema that is as comforting and reassuring as is possible. I haven’t met Alan but a friend in the media has who has spent time with him, testifies that he is one of the nicest, humblest people he’s ever met.

Comfort food for mind and soul

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worth listening to. interesting to learn about Hawkeye's life. Good voice to listen to. recommended

Quite an engaging man.

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